I have been in a long term relationship (11 years), thought I was going to be married, however my SO's alcoholism has put a damper on that. Her drinking had been an issue for a while, came to a head Thanksgiving day when I went out for a bike ride and when I came back 1.5 hours later she was drunk at 11:30AM. We were supposed to leave in 45 minutes to go to her sisters. Spent that time trying to sober her up. When we returned from dinner I told her she had until January 15th to go to rehab or we were through. I know she thought I would back down but I did not. The closer it got to D-day the nastier she got. She entered rehab on January 12th.
During the two months of bickering about rehab, the elephant in the closet finally came out to play. She stated that asking her to stop drinking was no different than her asking me to stop dressing. I stated that for the most part I had stopped as her daughter had moved in with us and my only opportunity was during a short period she had gone to Miami and that my dressing was not causing any physical issues.
Faced with this she finally blurted out, that I if I made her go rehab she would out me to my friends and family. While internally angry I kept my cool and walked away. This comment has been nagging at me for about a month. Not a day has gone by where I have not thought about it.
Yesterday, I went to a meeting with her and her counselor at rehab. She basically stated that she was not an alcoholic, she just need to cut down. I stated that just cutting down was not why she went to rehab and that if she continued to drink we were done. Well, she made the threat again. I know she means it.
I realize the end of a relationship is not easy place. At this time I'm not sure if I'm more sad about the possible end of the relationship or angry about being threatened.
I am taking stock of how this may affect me. My business partners, I really don't care, I can leave and start my own firm, but I don't really think they would care. My friends are as liberal as they come except one, and even he wouldn't care, he'd gossip, but wouldn't care. My children, no relationship, so don't care. My siblings, the only one who would care I have very little contact with. My mother knows. My father is the only person who she could tell where it would potentially hurt me. My dad is very accepting, I'm just not sure if he would accept it in me. His opinion really matters to me. He's 87, truthfully, I just don't want him to have to deal.
I have resigned myself to it happening. I just wish it would not.