It really is this simple

[Kandi Robbins]

So today was 50% off day at my favorite thrift store. The place was packed. I had a hour to kill between pick ups in my truck. I am dressed for work on a snowy, sloppy day with a 3+ day salt and pepper beard, bad hat hair from my wool hat and my work clothes half wet and salty. I head right to the dress rack, as I usually do and there is a woman there working the rack too. She's had quite a few dresses picked out. I work the other end and find a cute purple dress, priced right where I like it and decide to get it.

I move toward her and ask her jokingly if she left any for me. From that point forward, we talked like any two ladies would looking at dresses. She asked my opinion on one she was considering and I showed her the purple number I picked out (she thought it was cute!). Remember what I look like and while I am not the Marlboro Man or anything, my voice and mannerism would give no one the idea that I dress the way I do. We chatted for a bit longer, she told me about her eBay business. I saw nothing else there for me and told her I was off to check out the skirts. She wished me luck.

My point......NO ONE CARES! Not for one millisecond did this woman pause to consider that I was unusual or what was I doing looking at dresses. I am not the first one here to say it and will not be the last, any reservations, any fears are all in our heads.

Bought the dress, 3 blouses and an adorable zebra patterned jacket for $8.50. Priceless!!

[S. Lisa Smith]

Very cool!!! You are quite the shopper!!!!

[Julie MA]

Kandi, that instance does sound simple. I wish it was like that all the time. Fears in our heads or not, there are mean people who look for differences to attack. Julie

[Lana Mae]

Always glad to read your stories! I am also glad you are not running into any mean people and i am sure they are out there. I plan on going out some time soon but I am a little anxious here in NC! When I am ready to go I will of course just go and do it! Damn the torpedoes full speed ahead! Just wish the world could be better! Hugs Lana Mae

[Jackie7]

Kandi completely agree, and Julie, what Kandi reports from Ohio I can also report from central Pennsylvania..

I am a regular at senior half-price day at the Salvation Army and also at the enormous Re-Uz-It shops, as well as at tonier fashion recyclers. Sometimes I am man-in-cowboy-hat and sometimes nicely-dressed-woman, whatever, I choose what I like and try it all on, chat with other shoppers, use the restroom according to how I'm presenting that day... and nobody gives it a second thought.

[Allisa]

Kandi you know if you act like nothing is wrong being who you are, others relax and nothing is wrong, confidence and a good attitude will get you through any situation. Imagine a dirty construction worker in messy clothes and a shoulder bag doing the same thing you did and there I am. It doesn't matter but sometimes I wonder what the ones staring at me are thinking, it does make me chuckle sometimes.

[Jeri Ann]

Kandi you are my hero. What a lot of people are missing here, and some just don't get is, it all hinges on how you treat people. Kandi and I have talked many times about this. How you are perceived is greatly affected by how you relate to people. Kandi never gave this lady a chance to judge or mistreat her. Kandi broke the ice and interacted in a positive way first thus paving the way for a positive experience. Of course Kandi is an expert at this. She starts loving people before she walks in the door.

[Jackie7]

yes indeed Jeri Ann being friendly and open works a lot better than being furtive and closed. Sometimes they read you and sometimes they don't, and usually it doesn't matter. The more I go out en femme the less it seems to matter, to me and to the people I encounter. I try to look nice and be nice, and I get nice back.

[Ressie]

Yes, I've conversed with women shopping in the ladies section too. I'm glad you had an experience that you wanted to share. Most don't seem to care or even notice a man shopping for women's clothes, but I wouldn't say no one cares. Every experience is unique.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Kandi, You really know how to stretch a buck, I once had an interaction like that at SEARS
I had a few tops and I was elbow to elbow with a lady and we were talking about the tops and she asked
my opinion about the tops and skirts that she picked out, It just seamed so natural......

[Rachael Leigh]

Once again Kandi you come thru with a great interaction among the normals and I so agree it's all about the aittitude, if we
go out and act like we are doing something wrong then it's how we will be perceived.
It's old but it works go out own it and just be yourself
Rachael

[DIANEF]

We have 'charity shops' in the UK, I've been in a few and bought a few girl things (a very nice blue dress recently). No one cared. least of all the SAs there.

[Kandi Robbins]

there are mean people who look for differences to attack

Julie, while I completely understand that, there are also people that will hate you for your religion, your political positions, your skin color and any number of other reasons. I personally refuse to accept that as an excuse. I've preached be smart, be appropriate and smile. Avoiding haters fits under the be smart rule!

Just wish the world could be better!

Lana, the world is better, you just have to give it a chance. A few years back I would have completely agreed with you, but not any more.

Kandi you are my hero.

And you are an absolute doll!!!! I wish Kandi was there, but her "brother" did pretty well for himself.

My mission in life is to help wherever and whenever I can with my fellow sisters. I see something, I do something that might help, I'll say something.

[Meghan4now]

Funny thing is now you are more likely to be treated with courtesy in the public than you might at home. Like you said, a lot of people are receptive, others aren't willing to make a scene. Now if your at a testosterone and alchohol laden venue, hard saying. But the home front is probably more difficult than the public. A lot of "not in my house" to overcome.

[lingerieLiz]

I've found that many women are accepting. Having shopped with women that know about me they are very accepting even to the point of lingerie picks.

[Dana44]

Yeah Kandi, It is that simple. Whenever i go to the thrift store I am usually male and might have three day beard. Loaded with skirts or tops and Get more input from them where my size is. Yep it works.

[Jaylyn]

I'm not out but it's because of where I live the folks around I don't want them to know. I know that we always think the worse sometimes about anything that we think is unusual. Many times I've dreaded other things besides going out and find that your right not very many people really care what we do or think. We are our own worse critics and dread or fear the worst will happen. With that said I still say be careful and safe anyway as it only takes one person that is mean to ruin things.

[suzanne]

Absolutely right on, sister! It way cool that you thought nothing of heading straight to the women's section in your least dressed up state. Not only do they don't care, many women seem to be interested in CDs, maybe because we're not doing the macho horn dog act and we can just relate. I've had a lot of great conversations that began with "I love your shoes", whether initiated by me or the woman.

[Beverley Sims]

Kandi,
It took me years to be that simple, it does make life easy though.

[Kandi Robbins]

Kandi,
It took me years to be that simple, it does make life easy though.

Me too! Almost 50!

[Michelle Crossfire]

Wow Kandi, yet another great adventure and story to share. Wow, we are close in age, closer than i thought. Now if we can just get together sometime outside of a GNO so i can learn from the best.

[Teresa]

Kandy,
I love the story, as you say it is that easy.

Just the other day I saw a pair of suede boots in my size, I couldn't resist them at the price so I just slipped them on in the shop, did get a few looks but no one said anything.
I did have a problem with another lady shopper over a nice leather belt, she really wanted it but after a few minutes realised it fitted me better than her, she shrugged her shoulders and said size 12 , makes me sick !!