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Thread: Competition?

  1. #1
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Competition?

    So, my wife saw a picture of me on my desktop that I love. I'm in a nice lacey pink sissy dress, very fem with garters and stockings and little pink lace top socks, flower in my hair and sitting on a rock in the yard. I have a frown like a little disturbed sissy girl. It just captures the moment. She said, "Oh, nice." And in a deflated way. I said, "What. I love that picture!" Her reply was, "That's my competition!" I don't get it. And, I've heard all of the psychobabble explanations.



    Your thoughts?
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  2. #2
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    You think you will ever understand a female?
    Good luck sweetie.LOLOL
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  3. #3
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Thanks, Tracii.

    Here's the dumb picture.

    screenshot1.JPG
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  4. #4
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    You know her better than I do, but in my experience, wives will express feelings in the most obtuse ways. Possibilities include genuine jealousy of your looks or an objection to the picture where it might be argued hers should be. Sounds like an opportunity for communication and understanding.
    BTW, I love the lavender hose. "Jealous" might be a definite possibility.

  5. #5
    Woman first, Trans second
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    Kelly, I don't think there's anything particularly obtuse about it, and I DEFINITELY don't think it has anything to do with "jealousy of (Carla's) looks"...

    Carla, I don't know your wife, but I would suggest you consider that that picture and your relationship with your "dressing" and your self when "dressed" represent what she feels she has to compete with for your attention, time, energy, and desire. If she feels that way, there's a good chance that your behavior is what's making her feel that way.

    Do you have a picture of HER on your desktop too?
    Last edited by Zooey; 01-31-2017 at 11:21 PM.
    Coming out is like discovering that you've been drowning your whole life after actually breathing air for the first time.

  6. #6
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    Yep. It's about attention. She is the woman. Your the man in love with yourself when your dressed as a woman.

  7. #7
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    OK, I'll try but you are going to have to take this on the chin and not take offence otherwise you will just get defensive and never have a chance of trying to understand your wifes attitude.

    OK. To start with the picture. Now remember I'm going to be brutal, don't take it personally.
    You are sitting on your own posing in the backyard, no sign of anyone else in your family or any loved ones. You have on stockings with garters that are showing, the camera angle literally looks directly at your crutch and you have on a dress / shirt that is short enough that you can almost see your underwear. Actually you can see your underwear i.e. the garters. You have on white stockings, pink socks and shoes and a flower hair clip that are in a style more suited to a young girl (and I mean sub 12 yrs old young). You are wearing reasonably heavy makeup that is obvious even in that photo despite that fact that your face is not clear and certainly is not the focus of the photograph.

    So when your wife see's the picture you're response is "I love that photo". This is a photo on your desktop. It contains no hint that you are married or have a partner let alone a family. The thing that you want to look at every time you open your computer is a photo of yourself, not of your wife. In addition to this the photo of yourself is that classical male sexualised virgin (i.e. young) / prostitute (i.e. sexually available).

    Do you get it now?

  8. #8
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    Kate saying the rest of what I wanted to say, but didn't. Combine our responses and you've pretty much got my complete thoughts on the matter.
    Coming out is like discovering that you've been drowning your whole life after actually breathing air for the first time.

  9. #9
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    Sorry Carla and yes we were brutal but you did ask.

    Look, there are plenty of photos from members on here like the one you posted, over sexualised photos that border on soft porn. I hope that that photo is not representative of how you see yourself or women generally. I think your profile photo is really quite sweet and I would be surprised if your wife had the same response to that photo.

  10. #10
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    No arguments or opinions here............

    At least your wife was pleasant in her comment.

    I think it's okay.

    Just looks like you. :-)

    Keep it on the desk, others will get used to it.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  11. #11
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Oh, I don't mind brutal comments. The truth is tempered with brutality. And, I agree with every comment made. A little clarification might be in order. First of all, my physical desktop has many pictures of myself and wife. My CD activity is secluded to only times that she is either asleep or not at home and doesn't subtract at all from our togetherness. And, I don't want to be a girl. My crossdressing is an enjoyable proclivity of role play, excitement and imagery.

    This is what I like about this picture. It's almost like an old CD'r not exactly in the mood, sitting on an uncomfortable pink rock, surrounded by pink gravel. The gray cinderblock wall for background and prickly paddle cactus for a companion. The only color is the hair flower and the sunlit greenery on the other side of the wall. And my expression is like, "Could we just get this over with, already!?"

    This image has nothing to do with my image of femininity. It's just a fantasy piece. And the wife's comment was just off the cuff and didn't incite any other discussion or derision.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  12. #12
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    Arbon said it very well, your focus and your wife's competition is Carla being a CD. You love dressing and being a woman and that's where a lot of your mental likes to go. It's not a bad thing, your wife will just have to learn to get use to it, it's part of you , it makes you happy and it's not another woman. And Carla, nice set of boobs in the pic, they look very, very womanly.

  13. #13
    Member Anne K's Avatar
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    My wife always says that I have raised the dressing bar. I doubt that because she has a great sense of style and wears her clothes nicely. Still, I have to keep her on her toes!

  14. #14
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    Carla, I have to disagree with some of the suggestions above. I don't believe that it is because you were alone in the picture. I think that if it was a picture of you as a guy on your own your SO would have had no issue if you loved the picture. I believe her reaction in a way could almost be like you are having a kind of affair, the male you is almost asking your wife to share you with Carla. I hope that makes sense.
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  15. #15
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    Carla

    If you want to think of the photo as some sort of art then so be it. If you truly wish to emphasise the drudgery / blandness of the rocks and grey wall contrasted against the bright hair flower and greenery then you should need to use an image manipulation program to make everything except the hair flower and cactus black and white and frame the photo to lose the greenery in the background, there is too much of it and the hair flower is lost in it. To get the "feeling" of being over it you only need a head and shoulders in the photo. Alternatively wearing something longer would remove the focus on your legs and groin and allow those other elements of the photo to come into play more.

    Personal artistic preferences aside that is not the reason I dislike the photo. You freely acknowledge it is supposed to be an "old CD" so why are you dressed up trying to look like a 12 year old? That is creepy and gross. And exactly what do you want to "get over with"? You claim that this image does not represent how you view femininity. So why are you dressed in a feminine way in the photo? I also don't understand the "fantasy" thing. A fantasy of what? Because if it is some sort of sexual fantasy then as per my comment about the way you are dressed to look like a young girl, it is gross.

    I do not know any woman who would look at that photo and think "wow, thats attractive, that is something I would aspire to". Pretty much any woman looking at the photo is going to think that picture is sexualising, demeaning and disrespectful to women generally. Lose the photo. You're a better person than what is represented there.
    Last edited by Kate T; 02-01-2017 at 06:18 PM.

  16. #16
    Silver Member Stephanie Julianna's Avatar
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    I could see my wife saying that. She has verbalized more than once that she does not understand why I want to dress and thinks that I think I am prettier at times when dressed. She adds that she is the real woman in the marriage and I have always agreed.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zooey View Post
    Do you have a picture of HER on your desktop too?
    This should be the top rated comment.

    @Carla. You look great as a gal. Really you do. But either your SO is significant ... or she isn't. You decide.

    Dress up=fine.
    Play time=fine
    Fantasy=fine

    Playing people... not so fine. For the good of everyone please decide on what you want and stick to it.

  18. #18
    Feminaut Julie MA's Avatar
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    Carla said there are many pics of wife on the desk. She never said her wife wasn't significant. Who's playing anyone? What drives this hostility and insertion of assumed issues?

  19. #19
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    I'll be extremely blunt (albeit impersonal on this here: with utmost respect, it almost seems like you're cheating on your wife with Carla.

  20. #20
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    How do you cheat on your wife with yourself?
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  21. #21
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    My goodness! This thread is certainly full of energy. So. I absolutely LOVE my Wife. She is my heart. She doesn't exactly like my proclivity but, she views it as part of the program. Like it or not. Like some of the things she prescribes to that I roll my eyes at. Hey, I just like the picture for it's nonconformancy. And it makes me laugh. And that's what wifey loves. I make her laugh. We have a beautiful passionate relationship as friends, lovers and soulmates.

    And, Kate T, spare me!
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  22. #22
    Dr. Girlfriend AmandaM's Avatar
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    She could just as well be jealous of you watching too much football, or another "guy" thing.

  23. #23
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    I don't agree. Wives see it as competition for affection, companionship, and relationship.

  24. #24
    I am me! TrishaTX's Avatar
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    The 60% male part of me says I have no idea the 40% female part says I would say the same thing...I wouldn't worry too much , maybe just a passing comment.
    No regrets except I should have got dressed & stepped out sooner.

  25. #25
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    I agree it's about attention. Women want attention and a spouse will feel they shouldn't have to compete for it. I'd also say that the competion has something to do with boob size and the way you're dressed. Your wife might dress in a similar fashion at times, but I doubt she's gonna wear big falsies! Nice pic IMO
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

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