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    Ask A Transsexual - Part Two

    This forum is about transexual specific topics and this thread is for any member to ask TRANSEXUAL SPECIFIC QUESTIONS of TRANSEXUALS.
    There will be no discussion on individual responses permitted, however, a new thread can be started in the relevant forum to discuss individual responses.

    Only those members WHO IDENTIFY AS TRANSEXUALS may respond to a question, all others who respond will have their posts deleted, irrespective of the relevancy of the response.

    Members asking questions should note that one size does not fit all and when reading responses should take each response on its own merit,

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    What can I expect from HRT? Will I get breasts like my sister's?

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    The short answer is, probably not quite. The less short answer is that it depends on a lot of things, including age and genetics.

    The best answer is that there are a LOT of threads here discussing the effects of HRT, and you would do well to search them out.
    Coming out is like discovering that you've been drowning your whole life after actually breathing air for the first time.

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    A common question, and the point concerning expectations based on family is often misunderstood. Natal females - who, by and large, experience normal breast development - can expect development along the lines of the females of their family. Genetics always carry the chance of a wild card, but the way things work is that the characteristics of the most recent ancestors heavily predominate, considering the population as a whole. I.e., a girl can look to her mother, grandmothers, and perhaps great-grandmothers.

    Along comes a trans person considering HRT. Normal development? Nope, and moreover, several other factors interfere further besides. Long story short, that typical female family development is a long-shot limit for the trans person AT BEST, and most will never reach that. Those that have the best shot at even that are those who start HRT at puberty and even THEY have a few strikes against them.

    The web is full of photos of trans breast development. Lots of Tanner stage 1 - 3, some 4, very few stage 5. Tubular development. Little development. No development. Nipple development only. Etc. There's a reason that BAs are such a huge topic among TS.

    You can reasonably expect what most get, which is less than they would like.
    Lea

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    A) Is post transition life what you expected it to be?

    B) If there were any advice you could give yourself pre-transition what would it be?

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    A) "Is post transition life what you expected it to be?" me the only change has been that I now can have the physical attire that my brain has always imagined was there. I no longer struggle with reaching for my body parts that I know I should have always had. So very greatfull that I found the finances to have my procedures.
    B) "If there were any advice you could give yourself pre-transition what would it be?" As hard as it is to answer this truthfully I would have to say set aside the family and focus on myself only. This sounds so selfish to say but knowing what I have gone through to this point it makes perfect sence. Finances would have been there, I would have been more free to express myself in different ways without the worries of society hurting my family in any way; the list goes on.

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    Was it what I expected? No. It was much better.

    I expected to lose a few friends, and I have lost three, long distance friends, that I know of. And one brother. I got over it, and on with my wonderful life. My life attitude is so much better, and I never think of suicide any more.

    I expected to lose my clients (my work takes me into client's homes), and my major business (running a school). Neither happened.

    I was told by my endo to expect breast development about one cup size less than my mother and maternal grandmother - and thats exactly what I have. I did not ask about the rest of my body, and if I had she would have said it will likely mirror theirs, too - and since the women in my family have small butts, no hips, but do have mid-riff fat - i have developed that, too. I've put on over 20# since I started HRT three years ago.

    The biggest issue post-surgery for me was I couldn't restart my exercise routine for nearly six months. And it has been hard to lose the 10# I gained during those months. But I am committed to reclaiming my figure, and will keep working on that.

    What would I do differently? I would have started counseling, with a therapist who specializes in working with gender issues, sooner. Could I have transitioned 20 years sooner? No, society was not as accepting then as it is now. And science did not know about genetics we now know.
    But if I had read Jennifer Boylan's first book, "She's Not There", in the early 2000's when she wrote it, I would have transitioned many years sooner.

    Before I transitioned I felt like a lurker when I dressed. After I transitioned its like my whole life is 'just normal'. I get up, use the restroom, shower, dress, go about my day, and rarely ever think about my body, my genitals, my clothes, other than picking out what I will wear that day, and why.
    "If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn
    Thank you Persephone and Eryn, for helping me find and become my true self. Shalom Persephone, April 15, 2018.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lisa Car View Post
    What can I expect from HRT? Will I get breasts like my sister's?
    My endocrinologist said that with estrogen my body development would most likely be similar to my mother or maternal grandmother. She was right. My breasts development is similar to my mother, and what I remember of my grandmother. They are not quite as large as their's (B/B+ whereas they were both C/C+) - but by the time I saw my mother's she had been developing for, oh, 15-20 years or so - and i have only been developing mine for a year and a half. My hips are similar to both of their's - which is pretty straight hips, like I have always had. Neither of them had that hourglass shape - and neither do it.
    Last edited by Nancy Sue; 09-22-2017 at 10:25 PM.

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    Silver Member I Am Paula's Avatar
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    A million times better.
    Start earlier.

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    Living MY Life Rachel Smith's Avatar
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    Most days are better than what I had hoped for but there is still life and work though my attitude about both is much improved.

    I would like to agree with Paula but than I would have transitioned around 1968-69 and I don't think that would have went over to well at that time thus the wait.
    My parents should have known something wasn't quite right when I kept putting Kens' head on Barbies' body Rachel Smith May 2017

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    Aspiring Member Georgette_USA's Avatar
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    Only real expectation was to live the rest of my life as the woman I was.

    I think I started about the age that was best, I could understand it and had a good start of a career. Any younger and not sure what my life would have been like. No question on any older.

    Hind sight on what to tell pre is not helpful 40 years later. Other than INVEST heavy in Microsoft.

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    Not quite what I expected. I honestly didn't expect my life to be so damn normal, and it's to the point where I'm finding it progressively more and more difficult to relate to the parts of the trans community for whom their "transness" and the community is important to them.

    My advice to my pre-transition self would be targeted at myself in 1999, living near Chicago, taking the first steps towards learning who I am. I would tell her that the things she's wondering about ARE possible. Don't wait. Seek them out.
    Coming out is like discovering that you've been drowning your whole life after actually breathing air for the first time.

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member Dorit's Avatar
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    I would say that my post transition life is so much more than I expected. I am still amazed that I was able to do it after a lifetime of being in the closet. I would often say in the past that I just wanted to be able to take the trash out as Dorit! Now I move through my day as the women I am and accepted as such in the society that I am now a part of. What did surprise me was that I had many religious friends, mostly women, some for as long as 30 years, that totally rejected me when I came out. It was painful at first, but I accepted it as part of the cost of transitioning, and moved on to new friends and even a new, accepting, religious expression.

    I was a bit apprehensive about my surgeries, wondering if I would regret such an irreversible act. Once again, I was surprised to see I how delighted I am in my body and grateful that I had the courage to do it. For me this was the ultimate confirmation that I am a transsexual women!

    As to what I would do differently, I generally do not like to go on the path of "what if" and instead try to come to a place of acceptance of "what is." I would say as a minor issue that I would have liked to concentrated more on facial hair removal earlier on in my transition.

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    A. Is post transition life what I expected? I suppose that I am post transition, but maybe some would say no because I have yet to have GCS, not that it is a requirement of being TS, but it is in my future. However I did change my hormones 3+ years ago, and legally and socially transitioned 2+ years ago now, oh and had an orchi done last year. Thus being as I have now been full time for more than 2 years, I'm going to answer the question from that perspective........................ No post transition life is not what I expected. It is SO much better than I could have ever imagined. Because everything in my life changed for the better? Not really, my life is pretty much the same as it was before, only now I'm actually able to be me, and the freedom within that is huge. I expected to be fully shunned and to lose everything, friends, family, employment, etc. But really I have lost next to nothing. What I have gained though feels priceless.

    B. I agree with some others, I would tell my pre-transition self to get herself to an electrologist immediately! That was most likely the toughest part of the first year after I socially transitioned as I had not even started it. Having to grow out my facial hair for about a week while trying to present as the best me possible was very challenging, and often left me in tears.

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    Country Gal.... Megan G's Avatar
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    A. For me I never had any expectations of what life may look like post transition except for curing the GD. Nothing really has changed for me except for the people I associate with. I've gone from being my son's hockey coach to just another hockey mom in the stands. I would also echo Zooey's comment of not being able to relate to trans people who dwell on the trans community and have slowly distanced myself...

    Advice I would give myself is don't wait, the feelings are real, save a lot of heartache and do it now!!! Don't wait..

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    Silver Member I Am Paula's Avatar
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    Zooey, and Megan- A lot of girls are stuck in the trans community for good. It's like transitioning without coming out, and can't be healthy in the long run. I adore my trans friends, whom I see when I can, but I'm am 100% living among the muggles and loving it. My girlfriend is trans, but we just live as a girl/girl couple in a cis world.

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    I noticed these questions were asked near 4 years ago and I would love to hear some insight now on these same two questions.
    Thank you in advance.

    A) Is post transition life what you expected it to be?

    B) If there were any advice you could give yourself pre-transition what would it be?
    If you are a Genetic Female (Female at Birth) and would like to join us in the F.A.B. Forum, please follow the link.

    F.A.B. Forum Access

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    You forever and always will be my one and only true love . ❤️


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    For me,

    Post transition has been exactly what I expected it to be, no change to the way I live my life. Throughout my transition and afterwards, I have had non of the issues some TS ladies do/have. We don't live in a big metropolis and I find that most people only notice you if you draw attention to yourself.

    The only thing I would advise myself would be to start hair removal earlier, once you are sure that you are going to be transition, even if its later rather than sooner. When you do start electrolysis, get some of the more painful areas treated at each session, it bloody hurts to have session after session on the painful areas.
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    A. Some say that I started transitioning 40 years ago when I completed electrolysis. At that time I certainly dreamed of living my life more authentically but I was convinced that I would never transition. The world I knew was completely unaccepting and intolerant. Even when I started HRT 20 years ago I was convinced that I could hold out forever. There was too much to lose. As it turned out, I couldn't hold out forever. When I transitioned I anticipated living a private life, in the shadows, minding my own business and left alone. Pretransition I really thought that some relationships would endure.

    I was wrong about living a private life. I got involved and volunteered with organizations of all kinds including the Houston Rodeo and Habitat for Humanity. I have even met with lawmakers at the State Capital. Unfortunately I was also wrong about the relationships. I have only one old friend and no family after transition. However, I have many new friends, some of which have become my new family. That I did not expect.


    The surgeries and recovery have been a pain in the butt, pun intended. I have spent a lot of time healing. I had never even thought about that beforehand.

    B. I'm not sure that you can change one thing about the past without changing, and missing out on, a lot of things but, of course, I wish I could have transitioned much earlier. I wish I could have known earlier that I was even going to transition. It might have been helpful if I could have encouraged myself to maybe do more to minimize hurt, mine and others. I would also have assured myself that, despite obstacles and difficulties, there is a peace that can be achieved no other way.
    Last edited by Jeri Ann; 10-01-2020 at 09:12 AM.

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    I was told the same by my doctor...similar to my mother n sister...both are DD so even a D would be nice...time will tell
    its not about how long it takes its about getting there.

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    I would not have to high of expectations for a lot of breast growth on hrt. In real life I don’t know anyone that has had much growth.

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    Silver Member IleneD's Avatar
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    Please, my sisters, excuse my possible vulgarity or crude-ness. And perhaps there's no way to politely ask about such things.
    Nonetheless, I am curious. Curious as someone who is coming to grips with being transgender, and coming out after 40 or so years of hiding. I don't know if full time transition and physical reassignment is in my future, but it's something I should consider as an option.

    However, I have a question to those who have undergone SRS (the bottom surgery) and now enjoy having the physical genitals they always needed.

    Have you taken it out for a ride yet? Have you as a re-assigned woman made love with a man (or male genitals) and actually used your vagina?
    Again, please excuse me for posting this in "Ask A Transexual" but that's the title. So I am asking. It's kind of an obvious question, and one I've not seen addressed or remarked upon.
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    Member Mirya's Avatar
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    Still too early for me since I'm still recovering from my SRS, but yes I intend to have sex with men. I'm really looking forward to it too! But I'm not going to jump into bed with just any guy though; I have high standards.

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    I guess it's like most "personal" topics, a lady does not tell

    A man is not in my future, first of all I'm still in love with the woman I married 30 years ago and hope to have many more years with her. Secondly, although I pretended to be one, I find men so unappealing that I cringe at the thought being intimate with them. My sexual orientation has not changed and I still prefer looking, but not touching, women
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    Quote Originally Posted by IleneD View Post
    Have you - actually used your vagina?

    My husband is a man (sorta), we had sex about an hour ago. I had my first orgasm, post surgery, that wasn't self inflicted! wow!
    Last edited by Aprilrain; 09-23-2018 at 05:23 AM.

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