Close calls and getting caught

[Becky Blue]

Those who are in the closet or not out to their SO's have you had any close calls where you almost got caught? I would also like to hear some stories from people who did get caught. Can we steer away from discussions about whether or not one should tell or when one should tell as that is a whole other discussion.

In my case at the start of my journey i was almost caught by my wife with the very first items of clothing I ever bought for myself. I had been away on a longish business trip overseas and had bought my first items of female clothing. I placed these just below the surface covered with some presents for the kids. My plane had landed very early and I got home around 6am. Being a very regular traveller those days, my routine was very similar and any early returns found me in a quiet sleeping house for at least an hour, more than enough time to slip my pretty new purchases into a bag and hide it safely.

Enter house quietly, open suitcase in lounge room, remove presents hiding my purchases.. about to collect up Becky's new clothes and I hear "hi I woke up" I have never gotten such a huge fright in my life, my heart stopped beating and time seemed to freeze, panic set in and operating on instincts alone I slammed the suitcase shut and shouted "don't look you will ruin your present". She said "wow it must be some present, looking forward to seeing it later" and went back to bed. Going in my favour was the fact that my mrs is blind without her glasses and even though she was looking right at my clothes she would only have seen a blur of colour.

Looking back now I had taken a massive chance and had she had her glasses on or had I not come up with such a quick and effective response it could have been a disaster. Finding out your husband has bought himself 3 dresses is not going to be well received. The positive to come from it was that I no longer take any chances and I am extremely careful these days.

[DIANEF]

It's happened several times, I have literally had my wife on the other side of the door when she came home unexpectedly early and I did a mad dash to the bathroom to whip my girl stuff off. Another time she phoned to tell me she was on her way, if she hadn't she would have walked in on me and pretty sure my son has seen this forum page on my PC at least once. She once found a pair of knickers I had left out, still don't know how I talked my way out of that one! Astonishing that she doesn't know about me, or maybe she does.........

[Barbara Black]

I was caught. I had been hiding my stash in the ceiling of the basement, in a back room. My wife, being shorter by me than a foot, was unlikely to ever reach up there, even with a ladder. Well, not paying attention as well as I should have, I knocked a little insulation out and it was on the floor. Being suspicious, she somehow crawled up there and found it. I had to confess, and she was somewhat relieved that I wasn't having an affair. She had deduced that because the clothing was of different sizes. No, all of it didn't fit me well either. It wasn't pleasant after that for quite a while, but now I dress in front of her freely. I guess I'm better than nothing.....

[Stephanie47]

Since your story was of "almost" getting caught as opposed to "getting" caught, here's mine. I have related this once or twice before. When I was a teenager I use to don my mother's clothing. There was not too much closet space in our apartment. My mother kept some of her clothing in the closet in the bedroom I shared with my brother. One day while my mother and father were out talking to neighbors I slipped into one of my mother's dresses. I kept an eye out the bedroom window and figured I had ample time to undress and dress in my clothes when I saw them enter the apartment building---NOT! I totally misjudged. I saw they had already entered the building and were in the elevator coming up. I did the fastest strip down and tossed the clothes back into the closet which meant hanging her dress on a hanger. Them I had to dress back into my own clothes. All this time they are yelling to get in and trying to bust through the light weight security chain on the door. I thought for sure the chain would break. I finally was presentable enough to unchain the door after I flushed the bathroom toilet to support my ruse I was on the toilet. I'm sure my mother knew I messed around with her clothes. I am also doubly sure my dad would have beat the crap out of me.

One comment on the thread as it relates to a wife finding you wearing women's clothing or discovering your stash. Unless you make some promise to change your behavior you really get "caught" only once. My wife knows I wear women's clothing. It's DADT. On occasion she will find I had failed to pack away a pair of panties or a bra or discard my water balloon breast enhancements in the kitchen sink. No discussion. No screaming. I just told her decades ago, which is the truth. I don't know why I do what I do. I just cannot explain it. And, it has nothing at all to do with you. Just don't give a woman some bullshit answer.

[ReineD]

This isn't about getting caught while in the closet. It's about getting caught going out partying dressed alone.

I caught my SO going out on his way to the LGBT bar in town one evening, while dressed. We weren't living together, but our relationship was such that we checked in on one another every day and told each other everything, especially going out in public, which we had just started to do together (shopping, meals, etc). Going out was still a rather big deal. We had been seeing each other about 6 months.

I had a last minute errand that evening in his part of town, so I decided to drive the four blocks to his house for a kiss goodnight. As I was turning into his street, she was turning out of it fully dressed. I turned the car around to go home, wondering where she might be going so late at night. She saw me turn around and she pulled into a parking lot. So I pulled up alongside her, and looked at her questioningly. She said, "Oh, we weren't doing anything and so I thought I'd go to ______". I smiled and said, "Have fun!" and off I went. I felt wretched. I couldn't understand why she wouldn't have told me earlier that she was planning this since, as I said, going out was a big deal then. I wondered why she wanted to go to a gay bar dressed as a woman. And most importantly, I wondered why she preferred going there alone, since I would have gone with her anytime. I went home and cried.

It took a few days before I spoke to him about it. I didn't know what to say. I was afraid of making it sound as if I didn't approve of the dressing, and I didn't want to let this fester inside and make up all sorts of stories by myself which may or may not have been his truth. I can't remember how I communicated to him what I was feeling, but he was impatient and felt put upon that I should feel as if I had any say in what he had chosen to do on an evening when I wasn't there. He felt spied upon and he couldn't understand why I should have questions.

Needless to say, it was just one of all the little things that got swept under the carpet. A lot of things got swept under the carpet - all the conversations that didn't get to the bottom of things, when I made assumptions he would rather dress and hang out with men, or with other GGs, or alone than with me, and I wondered if I was fooling myself in our relationship - to the point where, eventually, I reached a point of expecting nothing from him. I was getting ready to move on, since we only saw each other a few hours per week by that time, his choice. Lots of tears on my part throughout this period, mostly alone, although I would try periodically to sort it all out between us. But after several years, I eventually got to the place where I considered that our relationship was just casual, and where I was no longer interested in sharing big parts of my life with him either. I had stepped back. And then suddenly my SO realized that things had changed between us. I guess he came out of his Pink Fog. I don't know what, specifically, happened to turn things around, but he did make a supreme effort to include me in his life again. It took a long time for me to trust that he did want me in his life and when he asked me to move in with him, I said no. It took another year before I did. It's all OK now, but we almost didn't make it.

I don't know why I typed all this out. I hope it wasn't a downer.

[bridget thronton]

Thanks Reine - your posts are always appreciated.

[Lacey New]

My wife is a night owl and I am an early bird. Early one weekend morning when I just was sure she would be asleep, I decided to trade my cotton jockeys for a pair of Maidenform floral print nylon panties under my shorts and walk the dog in the woods behind the house. As I approached the back door of the house, she was on the deck telling me to hurry up, we had an engagement that morning that I had forgotten. I dashed back into the woods removing my shorts and panties behind a tree and left the panties under a bunch of leaves. The dog took the blame for chasing an imaginary squirrel right at that same moment.

[LaurenS]

Reine, not a downer. It's life, that's all.

i suppose you two discussed the things left unsaid from earlier in the story?

At this stage of my life, I find myself logically looking at compatibility parameters. At top is intellectual compatibility. Not sure why this is relevant to the OP... sorry did not mean to hijack!

maybe another thread sometime...

[Mafalda]

Red lipstick remains on my teeth... Foundation forgotten at the base of the ear... A black garterbelt satin lace found under a wardrobe... And a false nail is still in my sink draining tube somehow... I still wonder how I didn't get caught!

[ReineD]

i suppose you two discussed the things left unsaid from earlier in the story?

Not really. But then, discussing this is no longer necessary. I'll explain why.

In the beginning, my understanding of the CDing and my SO's understanding of it was vastly different. He knew what it meant for him because he lived with it and he had lived with it for a long time. I could only look at his actions, and interpret them based on my own experience and knowledge, which was severely limited at the time, not having experienced any need to crossdress myself, and not having been exposed to it on a regular basis while growing up among my family, friends, coworkers, peers, etc.

And so when I perceived that my SO wanted to do things on his own while dressed, I took it that he preferred being dressed and interacting with others when I wasn't around, which translated to wanting me around just sometimes but not other times. When I looked at dressing up in sexy outfits and compared this to my own reasons to wear particularly sexy outfits and not regular, everyday clothes, (to be attractive to male partners), I didn't understand that his motive was not to expressly be attractive to men.

And when I saw the ramping up - more clothes, more going out, getting women's haircuts, piercing ears, shaving all over all the time, growing finger nails, photoshoots, posting pics online, seeking to interact with others increasingly as a femme self without me, knowledge that he had fantasized about men in the past - I felt as if he was becoming increasingly a woman and I wondered about his commitment to our hetero relationship, since I am hetero. I knew that I was not attracted to women.

And so all of those things felt as if I was more committed to him than he was to me. And I felt sad. But, over time (we've been together 10 years now), several things happened. Eventually my SO got as far with it as he wanted to. There was no more ramping up. Seeking to have social interactions with others without me being there, stopped. My SO began to prioritize the other things in his life again. If he had always prioritized these other things, it had escaped me during our first few years together. And slowly, I stopped feeling as if the CDing was a threat to our relationship, which over time reached a place of stability. I know deep in my heart now that my SO is utterly committed to me as I am to him. It just needed a while for me to get there, while I was on the learning curve of what the CDing meant to my SO. There's no way around a wife needing to go through the learning curve. Verbal reassurance from a CD spouse helps, but ultimately a wife needs to get to the point where she understands the CDing intuitively and this process takes a lot of time. It takes things being stable and consistant for a long time, with an absence of any desire to engage in the CDing without the wife's knowledge.

[Lana Mae]

It might not be the same but my daughter(who does not want to see daddy in a dress) came in my bedroom last night to look at a library on TV that has rooms you can stay in while there for overnight! I did not give it a thought but I was in one of my night gowns! Her only comment was " I would not wear that it shows off the boobs too much! Don't worry you don't have any!" (I don't sleep in my forms!) We got a chuckle out of that! Hugs Lana Mae PS: Reine always glad to hear your insight/experiences!

[Aunt Kelly]

Again, Reine, thank you for the gift of another insightful post.

[DaniChan]

Never got caught, but had some close calls. But nothing major...Once I was at a department store heading to the lingerie section and bumped into a friend. A few moments later and I would probably be holding a bra. That would be fun to try to explain...

[Ally 2112]

I never got caught although i came close way to many times .Also Reine your post hit home i also got way caught up in the fog and being selfish .I did learn a hard lesson from this and also realized i just have to be single for any of this to work for me .I just could not put another women or myself through this again

[Maria Blackwood]

Took a picture of a kitchen item I bought on Amazon to send to my sister. I put it on my bed just to have a nice background. I have this gray beadspread that acts as a good backdrop for pictures of objects.

Juuuuust as I'm about to hit send, I notice in the corner of the picture one of my red bras and clearly the top half of a purple chemise. I'm so used to leaving my CD things about, especially the bedroom, they didn't even register until I saw them in the picture. Fortunately, I managed to not send and retake the picture.

[Teresa]

Reine,
Thanks for your story and thoughts on Cders being caught.
Your last sentence says it all, if that never happens is the real problem ! So many of us do things without our wife's knowledge, a while ago I posted a thread about living the double life, sadly not all our partners are like you. Every so often we get a thread like Becky's about near misses and the dreaded possible consequences .

I'm glad to say that my wife knowing about my things and knowing where they are or accidentally leaving items isn't so much of a problem as long as she doesn't see me wearing any of it but she's OK about others seeing me now I go out socially.

[Mollyanne]

I was caught first by my wife and then my daughter. When my wife caught me (oh how I hate that phrase) I was dressed from the neck down. Not only was she shocked but called me some very nasty names. Now she knows but is not happy about it or supportive. When my daughter caught me I was totally dressed and sitting at my desk doing some intense program evaluations. I didn't hear her come in and when she passed my office she came in and was stunned to say the least.We didn't talk for a while and we re-established our relationship but my dressing is NOT mentioned.

Mollyanne

[DIANEF]

Just two days ago I logged on to my E-mails and on the list was a message from this forum about a deleted post (the 'mask' one). My wife was stood right next to me but was looking out of the window and I just managed to switch pages before she turned around.

[CarlaWestin]

Reine, your contributions are always appreciated.

One of my favorite almost caught stories that I've posted before was when my wife and her visiting mother left the house for a day of shopping. I had been dying to do something really extreme so I spent some time getting dressed in one of my favorite sissy girl outfits. As I was taking this checking myself in the mirror by the front door shot, I heard footsteps and then a key going in the lock at the front door two feet away.

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In about three high heeled leaps, I grabbed the camera and dove into my office. When I heard, "Hello!" I yelled through the bathroom, "I'm in the bathroom" although I was in the walk in closet frantically undressing. "Mom forgot her sunglasses. Bye!"

I had to laugh, standing there naked with makeup smeared all over my face.
Yep! This is worth a picture.

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[CONSUELO]

Hiding one's femme clothing, keeping stashes of clothing in secret places such as false ceilings, almost getting caught and escaping by the skin of ones teeth, etc., are common stories on this Site.
I always have a strong feeling of sadness when I read these stories. What a shame that so many of us have to exist in the shadows.

[Judy-Somthing]

Years ago I had a water balloon mishap and hung my full slip up to dry in our bedroom.
Well the wife who didn't own any slips came home and changed out of her work clothes and didn't notice it.

Real bummer one time is when my mother in-law thought it would be to clean my van.
Well she found a slip, bras, and panties. She told my wife that I must cheating on her but at least I'm a good farther to my children.

I did manage to lie my way out of why they were in my van by telling her that a friend at work hung them on my van as a joke and I was going to get him back.

I'm glad she found my 3" heels five weeks ago, I ended up telling her I've cross-dressed since eight and had some dresses.
She said "I can imagine what they look like" and that all the interest over the years on how women dress now make sense.

She didn't tell me she wanted me to stop or ask if I'll continue.

[sometimes_miss]

close calls where you almost got caught?

Too many to count. Most were in my childhood and teens; back when perhaps I was subconsciously WANTING to get caught, desperately hoping that I would be accepted and loved for what I was, as of course there was no way to know at the time (60's and 70's) how slim a chance there was of that actually happening. As a kid, once my sister had an afternoon job I would go home from school as quick as possible, and dress up and sit around reading her Cosmo, Glamour, Vogue, etc. magazines, dreaming of wearing the clothes I saw in the pictures. As I did it more and more frequently, and feeling perfectly normal dressed as a girl, I gradually started venturing to more distant parts of the house and inevitably, someone would come home earlier than expected, and I'd have to figure out a way to change back to my boy stuff and get the girl clothes back where they belonged.
At other times, at the place where I was molested (basically an abandoned apt in his house) pretty much adults never came up there, so I felt pretty safe dressed in girl stuff. But a few times a couple of the other kids came up and I quickly had to change back and hide the girl clothes in an old dresser.
As an adult, older and wiser, I would simply double lock the front door and put on the security chain. The getting caught problem was much less, because the only way in was through the garage, and I would be able to hear the garage door opening and run back to my room and change. The one episode there was when I was doing my 'girl' laundry and forgot it was in the dryer, so when a roommate put a load of wash in the washing machine, I had to figure out how to get my girl stuff back to my room without anyone seeing; I wound up wrapping it all up in a big beach towel.
Once married, I had spent lots of time dressed up while my wife was at work. A few times my in-laws came over with the grandkids and I had to grab some clothes waiting to be washed to change into, or, when I was in the attic, take some stuff that was stored up there for the opposite season.
Got away with it all until I left a slip out after changing back before my wife came home from work. The odds had simply caught up with me after 30 years. I guess that's not so bad.

[wendy]

I've had many close calls :

- my wife took an evening class at a University close by, and the class was supposed to end around 7 pm, and she said she would call me so I could go pick her up. As i'm watching TV in the living room (dressed in all her clothing), I see this car pull up in front of our house, and the person getting out was her ! So I quickly did a mad dash to undress and just in time too. A classmate drove her home that was why she was home early.

- my mom caught me wearing her dress. My mom stepped out in the morning so I decided to dress up in my mom's dress. It had a long sleeve so I thought I would wear my long sleeve PJs over so hide the dress. As I'm talking to my mom I raise my hand and she sees the dress in the arm sleeve, and immediately tells me she wants her dress back. I thought my mom would tell my dad but she never did.

- this isn't CDing related, but I'm also into zentai. One evening while she was out with friends, I wore my zentai. She came home early so I rush downstairs to take the zentai off. Well, she did see it and was wondering why I was wearing a black gymnast outfit.

[Mafalda]

Hiding one's femme clothing, keeping stashes of clothing in secret places such as false ceilings, almost getting caught and escaping by the skin of ones teeth, etc., are common stories on this Site.
I always have a strong feeling of sadness when I read these stories. What a shame that so many of us have to exist in the shadows.

I feel the same... And i feel guilty since I'm not telling the truth.. I'll figure out how to tell my wife BEFORE getting caught

[Angie G]

I almost got chught my my wife son and mother all at different times. Now my wife knows and helps so I'm good there.Also kicking back on the couch mygrandson walked in All I had on was a pair of panties good thing i had a blanketto cover with.
Angie