Results 1 to 22 of 22

Thread: Going Out

  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    midwest
    Posts
    49

    Going Out

    My question is simple, but complicated: what is the feeling for a closeted girl or open to a wife or SO girl, to go out for the first time? What was it like, from the onset to the end?

  2. #2
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    Salford
    Posts
    75
    Della,
    I am as deep in the closet as you can get, so going out dressed is difficult. I have to wait for the right time and even then
    its case of having my stash in the car and driving someplace that is very quiet.
    After changing in the car I will step out and go for a short walk but that feeling of being outside is just great, the air feels so
    much cooler around your legs. I became so much closer to feeling like a woman that ever before!. I love it.
    I always steer clear of other people whilst out, I am about 6'5" in my heels and I would feel like all eyes are on me, going
    out though is wonderful.
    Hugs
    Tracy

  3. #3
    Feminaut Julie MA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    733
    Della, I am also a naturist so I relate going out dressed to that. When alone, CDing or being naked just feels like me. Around others who are CDing or are naked, I feel like a part of any like minded group. Around others who are not CDing or naked, I feel different and self conscious. Julie

  4. #4
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    13,082
    Della,
    I did just over a year ago , to me there's no going back.
    A member on the forum suggested her social group some time ago, like most I never thought it could happen. After seeing a gender counsellor I decided that my needs were too great to stay in the closet so finally got my act together. I bit the bullet and asked at my local Boots store for a check on my foundation colour , the beautician was great and showed me how to apply it with a brush and how to finish with a powder. I had been given some lovely clothes to get me started so I jumped in my car ventured out in a long ball gown to attend a buffet and diner dance at my new social group. I can't believe I wasn't nervous, it felt so right and had a great time meeting about fifty Cders and their partners. It was the first time I'd danced in 4" heels in a ballgown, and also the first time I'd driven to and from my home dressed . Since then I've slept over twice, once at Carole's home and once at the hotel where we hold our meetings, and even dressed for breakfast.

    What does it feel like, to me I feel totally comfortable being dressed, the enjoyment I get shopping for outfits and accessories now has meaning, I still dress at home but being out and accepted as a woman is wonderful . The question of passing has faded away, it doesn't worry me anymore, I do my best and have received some lovely comments. I will admit I do want more , I prefer to be seen as Teresa rather than the guy underneath, I'm still working on the possibility of going full time because I prefer to look and be accepted as a woman, going out has proved I can do it .

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Nebraska
    Posts
    815
    I have been out twice. The first time was a little nerve racking at first but after an hour and a little interaction with muggles I gain confidence and it became fun and enjoyable. The second time nerve calmed quickly and was even better than the first. I am planning another outing in april.
    Get out and enjoy we spend too much money on clothes to stay home.
    Sara

  6. #6
    Just being true to myself Jolene Robertson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Southern US
    Posts
    2,790
    Hi Della,

    Like the others have said "once you go out there's no going back" it is so exciting. The one thing I have learned is if I'm going to go out dressed do it right not half way, which I tend to do more often than I should. Every time I've received a strange response from others is when I'm not presenting properly. Sometimes I don't care but sometimes I just want to pass and be "just another girl" so If you're going out for the first time "IMO" do the whole nine yards Hair, dress or skirt & Top, make-up, nails shoes. Try to blend with the other girls out there. I have better results when I dress a little better than most of the other girls / women but I'm over 60 so... But for me tight jeans or slacks doesn't present as well as a skirt or dress and I have been out quite a few times so It's different for everyone I guess.

    Just go out and try it, some of it you have to learn from experience and try to not let your nerves get the best of you. It is very liberating and fun. Most people will be quite pleasant. Just remember Don't go anywhere a woman by herself wouldn't go some people are not good people.

    Also I find that going out during the day (while the teens are at school) works well, no one will out you as quick as a teenager who doesn't know how to be keep their thoughts to their selves. And believe it or not busy places work well for me as most people are going about their business and don't notice the little details as much.

    God Bless
    Have fun and please keep us posted
    Jolene
    Last edited by Jolene Robertson; 02-04-2017 at 10:19 AM. Reason: Added a thought.

  7. #7
    Stop that, it's silly.... DIANEF's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    TEHRAN
    Posts
    2,274
    It was fairly recently that I had my first daylight trip out in the car, and as I gained confidence I went further and further. Now I go for walks outside and love it. Still not near the interaction stage but that will come one day. The first time I left the safety of my car I was very nervous, but as I realized no-one was looking at me or even noticed me it became easier and by the time I got back I was already looking forward to the next trip somewhere.
    Here today, gone tomorrow....

  8. #8
    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    ne pa
    Posts
    2,740
    My first time out was on Halloween. Nervous but at least I had a plausible excuse.
    As far as my first non Halloween outing, it was to a CD night at a local LGBT friendly resort. I was a bit nervous at first but got used to it pretty quickly.
    My first time out among the muggles was in Denver for a long weekend, I met two very supportive friends there and that made it easier. I brought only fem clothing for the weekend so I couldn't chicken out. The only nerve wracking moment was going to an IHOP on a Saturday morning, it was full of parents and kids. After I survived that and no feathers were ruffled the rest of the weekend was fantastic.
    The more you go out the easier it becomes, I now try to spend at least part of one day a week as Nikki. I now attend church, go shopping eat as her and have no problems. I know up close I don't pass but I do try to blend in and I try to show an air of friendly confidence (whether I am or not). Women seem to warm up to me easier, men sometimes are a bit confused. Maybe they understand better.

  9. #9
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    13,082
    Nikki,
    I have to agree with you over the comment, "women warming to you ".

    The Xmas party was a good example, as a guy I wouldn't have danced with other men's wives but dressed they wouldn't let you leave the dance floor. I have more female friends now through them knowing I'm a CDer than I did as a guy before they knew.

  10. #10
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Western Washington
    Posts
    14,303
    The first time I went out I was dolled up...100% including makeup and a wig. I went for a drive. I did the same for several times....never getting out of my car. Finally, I parked and took a stroll. I even got a honk on a horn from a passing pickup truck, which made me feel good but also apprehensive if the truck actually stopped. Frankly, after a while I felt it was a time consuming waste of time. I had no place to go. It was just driving or walking.

    I did on two Halloween doll myself up again. I did interact with humans. The first time I went into a Safeway and bought several bottle of Coke. The second Halloween I went into a Winchell's doughnut shop. Even that seemed boring.

    Go forward several decades. My daughter went to school and had a job in Chicago. My wife went to see her in the fall for seven to ten days. This routine went on for five or six years. I went out. As recently as 2015 my wife went to visit a cousin in the southwest. Again I ventured forth fully en femme in the early evening. I took strolls. I ran errands...return books...mail letters...grab a soda outside grocery stores...etc. In the end, other than the breeze whipping the skirt of my dress and my slip, it became boring.

    For me, the anticipation actually exceeded the actual event.

  11. #11
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    San Francisco Area
    Posts
    11,686
    I wasn't ever a closeted girl, but definitely a late starter newbie. Once I looked in a mirror and liked what I saw, a Wow! moment, I knew I wanted to go out. So, before going out it was determination, planning (needed a sidekick to accompany me), minimal preparation, anticipation, little or no anxiety and some nervousness. During it was total loss of fear, desire to do more, interaction with complete strangers, a lesson in how to walk like a woman, and a lot of happiness. After, it was more happiness and the knowledge that I would be doing this as much as possible, which I have over the last 10 years. Thanks to those who were with me on that first night out.

  12. #12
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    13,082
    Stephanie,
    It depends what you want from your CDing, I want to interact with others as a woman and be accepted as one, my social meetings held at a hotel give me that opportunity, I find dressing at home can be boring because I'm not going anywhere and meeting people, I do it because I feel a better, happier person and wish I could do it more often.

  13. #13
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Dallas Ft Worth metro
    Posts
    5,589
    Dela, going out dressed en fem is for sure a very personal choice and it's not an easy one.
    I did it because why have all the clothes just to sit and wear them at home, but I wasn't sure if I could really get out so my first experience happend about 3 years ago in Vegas a safe place, once I got over the nerves that we all get I knew it was
    possible. Now it's just become a natural routine for me, that may not happen for you but that's my story

  14. #14
    Silver Member Kandi Robbins's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Location
    Kandi's Land!
    Posts
    2,610
    First time? I was scared sh@#less! Nervous, apprehensive, aware of every eyeball, every sound, everything around me.

    You know how long that lasted? A few minutes. My first time, I made sure was out of town, where no one could possibly know me. That eliminated any real downside. Now I allowed some women (GGs) to talk me into wearing a dress that was way too young for me. So I drove to a mall, walked in, walked the entire length of the mall and headed back to my car. During the walk, I had a group of teenage girls completely read me (it was not very subtle how I knew), but I could not have cared less. That was my first time. I have been out close to a couple of hundred times since and nothing like that has ever happened to me again. Have I been read? Without a doubt. But who cares? It's my life and I am a proud CD.

    I was completely read on Thursday. You know what happened? The couple that read me and I went out for dinner.

    Be smart (about what you do and where you go), be appropriate (for your age, your body type and where you are) and be confident (a smile is the most passable thing you can do).
    Visit Kandi's Land (http://www.kandis-land.com/) daily! Nothing but positive and uplifting posts!
    Pictures and stories of every time out: https://www.flickr.com/photos/131254150@N06/.

  15. #15
    Senior Member phili's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Location
    San Francisco Peninsula
    Posts
    1,661
    When I was about 12 I went out for the first time in my neighborhood- had a yellow sundress and put a scarf over my hair so I thought i could escape detection. Didn't meet anyone on the street, and chose dusk - and it was not very satisfying because there were no people. Later I would take walks on secluded forest paths, etc, since I deemed meeting anyone would generate calls to police assuming I was gay and trolling.

    Fast forward 40 years and every shade of passing effort from zero to trap is now understood and accepted. So there really is no reason not to go out and be yourself as you see it, at least with strangers- they are the easiest because it is fresh and unburdened by past history. I sent an email to my nighbors on all sides saying they might see me in a dress, and not to worry- I made up a story about a social art project. I am sure they will gradually understand that I actually am a crossdresser. But clearing that deck really made a huge difference- it brings a whole new level of reality to the experience, and that, surprisingly, moderates my need a bit. I no longer have to dress to prove something, so that takes the pressure off.
    We are all beautiful...!

  16. #16
    The Anima Corrupt Wen4cd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Outer Trannysylvania
    Posts
    948
    My trips out are about 30% good and the rest bad, or at least 'terrifying but necessary.'

    Walking out of doors for the very first time in your life with a group of peers for security and instantly being called freaks by a motorist passing by out his window. is a learning experience

    Driving in the car on a sunny afternoon, wearing sunglasses, cutely smoking and feeling sexy on your way to a gathering of other CD's = that is a desirable, quite fine experience and your level of exposure is minimal and protected, you are at best a single frame in someone else's daily movie and their car maneuvers near yours in the highway lanes, and you can pick each as a moment of presentation, even if it's to someone who probably isn't even looking.

    Walking on a sidewalk at night in a bro-party beach resort town on senior week having teenage and college jocks jeer at you out of their cars while they drive by and instantly pick you out - this is a crap experience.

    Sitting alone in your car shaking in fear and doubt outside a restaurant that serves your favorite food, and trying to use the promise of that meal to overcome something you've never done before - simply walking dressed and alone into a public-accessible restaurant and eating - and driving in and out of the carpark three or four times until you wonder if you look like a creep, but you're just too scared to make that walk in the door - sitting there for an hour, ...and then finally screwing yourself up and doing it....

    That is a tremendous experience.
    And so we go, on with our lives...
    We know the Truth, but prefer Lies.
    Lies are simple, simple is Bliss.
    Why go against tradition, when we can admit defeat,
    Live in Decline, be the victim of our own design?

  17. #17
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Location
    Southeastern U.S.
    Posts
    914
    Love ya, girl friend and glad to hear you were as frightened as I was first time out and how your were aware of every eyeball, sound, and everything around you. Wow, that was the same for me. It felt like everything was amplified and I'm sure you know what I mean. The sounds were louder and clearer like I was wearing some sort of a hearing aid. I noticed everyone I passed and what they were wearing and doing. How their makeup looked it who I passed was a girl or a woman. The looks from guys who may be checking me out. Didn't get a lot of that thank God! But boy, when I walked in that mall right through the busiest door of the mall besides the front door, I was shaking in my cute little booties and that lasted until I got to Sephora and starting sharing myself and my story with the girls in there and then the shaking all started to subside! I would have wet my sexy black lace panties if that shakey feeling would have gone on for another half hour or so. Thank God for the Sephora crew! They were absolutely fantastic and set me totally at ease for my next stop at Victoria's Secret!
    Gotta run, girl, and always look forward to your comments and sharing of such important info. You're a real pro and it will take me a couple of years to feel like a pro at this new adventure....Sincerely Scarlett

  18. #18
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Midlands UK
    Posts
    7,188
    Della,

    Like so many here my first steps out were parked up somewhere quiet and walking a few steps way from the car. What was it like? Wonderful, freeing, scary. Move on through the years and I got to the point where I would walk in the evening after dark in public places that had a few people around but not too many. The first time I really did this was at a seaside town. My intention was to park 100 yards from a post box, walk to it, post a letter and walk back. Well I got to the postbox, no pitch folks, angry mobs so I kept walking, 3/4 of a mile along the promenade, and then the the same back. This was the first time I'd walked any real distance in heels, 1 1/2-2" knee length boots. At first my heart was racing, not so much butterflies more angry birds. That soon passed and I settled down into a steady stroll and enjoyed the night time air. I can still remember the exhilaration I felt once back in the car. It was hard not to just do it again there and then..... but my feet hurt!

    Since then I've been to group meetings, a bit like Teresa. Meeting fellow CD'ers is just wonderful. I've hit the shops many times, spent days dressed out and about.

    I wouldn't want to put any pressure on someone to go out. It's an individual decision. All I will say is you will definitely remember your first time, it definitely can be addictive and in the many years I've been out and about dressed for the time and location, I've never had a bad experience.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  19. #19
    GG ReineD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Samsara
    Posts
    21,377
    For my SO, it was nerve-wracking and exhilarating at the same time. While we were out, she was very tense and nervous. We went shopping and she kept hiding behind racks of clothing. In the food court, she wanted to sit in a corner and she didn't want to talk to me. Honestly, I got the impression she was having a terrible time and this was an experience she would not want to repeat. But, the minute we got home, she said she had loved the experience and she wanted to plan the next outing. The visible tenseness and nervousness lasted for the next dozen or so outings, and then she didn't show visible signs of it ... although I think it took months and months before she began to feel somewhat more relaxed.
    Last edited by ReineD; 02-04-2017 at 05:17 PM.
    Reine

  20. #20
    Member XemmaX's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Berlin, Germany
    Posts
    260
    hey there, i can't speak for everyone but i remember it being a combination of extreme fear and then massive adrenalin boost (lol). like many i truely expected the worst and to feel humiliated but in reality it was a liberating experience. yeah you could experience maybe a few negative comments but in reality most people just ignored me and yeah some read me but i felt this feeling of who cares im actually doing it. that feeling overrided the fear eventually.it worth doing especially if you feel you need it to achieve self acceptance of who you are,

  21. #21
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    1,385
    I guessI'm going against the grain here, but I honestly don't remember my first time out.i'm sure it was probably frightening, but I can't for the life of me remember what I did or where I went. Don't get the idea that I'm super experienced going out dressed..I'm not..I probably haven't been out and about a dozen times in my life, but I guess tat first trip out just didn't leave that much of an impression

  22. #22
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    8,606
    Very first time out was a car ride. No make up and no wig with breast enhancers and no forms. Past two K-9 cops and a flag man and no nothing! Next with wig and make up, in the city rushing across busy streets and into wig shop. On the way, noted two male expressions: one was wide mouth as in not sure what he saw and the other was a snarl like look. In the wig shop, woman customer kept looking at me but with no judgement apparent, said "Excuse me." in my best Lana Mae voice and got a polite excuse me back, and lastly a man working in the store called me, "Sir!" That is it am planning a trip but will probably be delayed until next month. Need a color palette from MAC! Can't wait! The feeling on both occasions was exciting to say the least! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State