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Thread: Ask a GG - Part Two

  1. #326
    Member Victoria_Winters's Avatar
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    Ok. Here a question for you GG?s out there. When you go to sleep, what do you prefer to wear? Nightgowns? Cotton PJ?s? Silk/nylon PJ?s? Nude, T-shirt? Ect...

  2. #327
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    I will just say that I love lots of blankets.

  3. #328
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    99% of the time, tshirts and pj bottoms in the winter and tshirts and shorts in the summer. The other 1% is plain tshirt when it's too hot.

  4. #329
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Pretty much all of the above for me . Just depends on mood and where I’m at - traveling , visiting.
    Or with Sher we’d wear sometimes matching things .
    Here in Texas I find myself in cotton nightgowns more often than not.
    If you are a Genetic Female (Female at Birth) and would like to join us in the F.A.B. Forum, please follow the link.

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    Sherlyn,My beautiful sweet girl
    You forever and always will be my one and only true love . ❤️

  5. #330
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    I like to wear things that don't bunch up and tug under me as I toss and turn. lol. I love cool, lightweight cotton.
    Reine

  6. #331
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    At home I usually wear a tanktop (with built in bra) - usually the uniqlo ones... and cotton bikini style underwear... I dont like wearing pants to sleep...

    If I am out overnight... camping or at hotels etc, its usually shorts and a light sports bra and tshirt ... - still cant deal with pants..
    Last edited by Di; 10-04-2019 at 12:53 AM. Reason: You are right TMI per the rules :)

  7. #332
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    I recently bought a cami to sleep in and I cant figure out how long the straps should be when I am wearing it, It is a bit tight around the chest even with no bra. Am I wearing it wrong?

  8. #333
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Length of strap depends on what feels comfortable for you. There's no hard and set rule. Cami too tight? I suggest getting the next size up.
    Reine

  9. #334
    Member Robbiegirl's Avatar
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    Ladies, On this site we tend to discuss men wearing women's clothing as it being pretty common. My question to you is really how often in your life has another women told you a story or even talked about the idea of their guy or any guy dressing up in women's clothing ? And if the subject ever did come up what was the reaction or was their any ?

    I really get the impression that women don't really know we exist or want to picture that we exist ?

  10. #335
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    No woman that I know outside of my SO's CDing group knows that men like to wear women's clothes. They don't know you exist.

  11. #336
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    It never comes up. Very few people are aware of this community. Yes, people vaguely know about drag queens, effeminate gay men, and some movie/TV stars who have transitioned but this is far outside their daily lives.

    Edited to add:
    As to women's attitudes should the topic ever come up, it depends on their political beliefs. Conservative? Nope. Liberal? Maybe, as long as the CDer in question has no impact on their lives for example, a coworker, a friend of a friend or someone they see at a mall. Certainly they'd be polite about it to the CDer's face. But most liberal women would initially not like it if it were their husband or son.
    Last edited by ReineD; 12-16-2019 at 11:51 AM.
    Reine

  12. #337
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Except for in the forum where we all are here because it is our life. Only just recently a new friend confided in me her daughter is transitioning. But never ever has anyone ever before mentioned it. I really do not think unless it is a part of someones life they would not ever think about it.
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    Sherlyn,My beautiful sweet girl
    You forever and always will be my one and only true love . ❤️

  13. #338
    Accepting GG Dutchess's Avatar
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    It never comes up with me either and I have lived a life with two cousins who are professional drag queens (over 40 years ) . I have also lived all over the world ( non military ) and I prefer VERY androgynous /NB men and still no.

    I grew up in Texas and totally agree with Reine's observation about the conserves . Out here on the west coast everyone does whatever anyway and no one cares .

    Like Di said we are here because it became apart of our life and for me I struggle to understand how I had TWO in my life .
    Don't turn away, what are you lookin' at?
    He was so happy on the day that he met her
    Say, what are you lookin' at?
    I was a superman but looks are deceiving
    The roller coaster ride's a lonely one
    I'd pay the ransom note to stop it from steaming
    Hey, what are you lookin' at?

    https://youtu.be/YxS4lqppZ6Y

  14. #339
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    I?ve seen men wear women?s clothes periodically throughout my life, but I?ve never thought too much about it.. maybe that?s simply because it didn?t impact my life any. Though My best friends bf transitioned (ftm) and we simply supported him.. my mom was friends with drag queens and had pictures with them on a board in the house.. heck my brother wears dresses (though he?s usually drunk when that occurs..) if he does come out as a CD well, I doubt my family would look at him any different.

  15. #340
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    @Robbiegirl I'm very new to this community and honestly before my husband shared I didn't know that a straight man would want to present as female on occasion. I only knew of drag queens (family member that is a gay man) and people in the trans-gendered community. So it is I guess understandable that my first reaction was anxiety about what this would mean for my relationship ie. was my husband gay and/or was he going to transition.

  16. #341
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    If any of you ladies have worked in a ladies' retail shop (lingerie, clothing, etc.), chain or stand alone, did your specific training include how to treat/handle men as customers buying women's things?
    Last edited by Di; 02-22-2020 at 07:20 PM. Reason: The reply’s will go in this thread or not at all/ that’s the point of this thread / you asks questions/ we answer in here

  17. #342
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    Short answer is there was no specific training on how to treat male customers who are buying womens clothing. Common sense and good manners dictate that you treat all customers with dignity and respect.

  18. #343
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    No need for specific training. As an optician in a Dept store I would treat everyone the same. Be professional, helpful, respectful, courteous to everyone.
    I do not think anything less than that would be acceptable anywhere.
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    Sherlyn,My beautiful sweet girl
    You forever and always will be my one and only true love . ❤️

  19. #344
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    Never worked in Ladies Retail but worked in hospital/insurance settings. Everyone was treated equally.

  20. #345
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    I worked in a ladies' clothing shop as a teenager. There was no training, it was just a part-time job. I'm with Paige. Common sense dictates keeping opinions (if any) out of it and treating everyone equally.
    Reine

  21. #346
    Junior Member DianeT's Avatar
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    Dear GGs,

    It's a subject I raised in the MtF and for which I'd love your inputs. My wife is very uncomfortable with my crossdressing (in addition to the long time hiding it). And it turns out that she has several levels of discomfort. Clothes such as dresses/skirts and pantyhose do not repell her as much as high heels ("stereotype"), and especially fake breasts and wig, because in her eyes it crosses the line from liking the feel of the clothes to actually wanting to be a woman. I don't want to be a woman and have no female self, but the problem remains.
    When I read accepting GGs' posts, when it comes to discussing the clothes of your SO, none of you (as far as I can recall) drew a line between clothes and boobs for example (my wife's main sore point in the matter). You talk about the "clothes" of your SO, and it looks like this term actually encompasses also makeup and prosthetics. Maybe to not delve in the details?
    Honestly I can exactly understand what makes my wife uncomfortable and why.
    Question: Is it possible that some of the accepting GGs have some level of discomfort with these items just like my wife does, but didn't mention it in their answers for some reason? Could you share which items and the reasons why it crosses a line or is repellent for you?
    Thanks a lot!

    Edit : feedback from non-accepting GGs is absolutely welcome too!

  22. #347
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    . You had x amount of years to wrap your head around it. It will take time and remember she does not have to come to terms.
    The other GGs will come in with their thoughts as mine is way different as I knew from the first time we met . I saw it as Sher needing these things and for Sher it was just to complete her look.It was not a hobby, something she did for fun, or sexual it was who she was and has been all her life. To me it would be weirder not having breast forms , wigs ect. We do see pictures of cders here with no forms or wigs and a dress on and I do not get that . NOTHING WRONG with that ....everyone is different and that includes CDs and GGs
    It does not matter how we feel or think about it it?s how you two figure this out.
    Best wishes
    Last edited by Di; 03-30-2020 at 07:30 AM.
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    Sherlyn,My beautiful sweet girl
    You forever and always will be my one and only true love . ❤️

  23. #348
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    My situation was a little different because we were married a long time before my husband even started CDing. At first, it was just a lark to him, kind of like Halloween. Then he decided it was so much fun that he wanted to do more and bought the clothes, wigs and boobs. I can tell you that it was not comfortable for me at first. It's like an acquired taste. I didn't know where he was going with it. I wanted an "endgame". The wigs were acceptable when he finally got one that suited him. The boobs were another thing. To me, he looked ridiculous. However, his presentation in lady's clothes looked better with fake boobs. Long story short, after lots of discussion and a couple of years worth of "seeing how things played out", I came to realize that he was still my husband and hadn't changed his attitude toward me. I totally understand what your wife is feeling towards your props. Hopefully, she will understand your feelings and find a way to compromise with you. I will just clarify that IT TAKES TIME. If I could give any advice, I would say that neither of you should act to hastily. Listen to each other's concerns, see if you can make things work. Don't rush. I wish you both the best.

  24. #349
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    I know exactly what your wife means. The forms and the wig certainly were viewed with more hostility by me than the dress. My thinking was that breasts are to women what the penis is to men: linked to a sense of self. If you read the feelings of women who lose their breasts due to cancer, you will see that their sense of femininity was demolished. We are raised seeing them change as we grow, they can be considered a burden often, but they are part of who we are. Prosthetic breasts are used to give women who have been through a horrendous cancer experience to regain part of their normality again. And then you find out that your SO is using these for kicks. Which created a sense of caricature in my mind and felt like a mockery. To create a similar idea to you, imagine if you were not a crossdresser. And suddenly your wife starts saying that her jeans only feel complete if she wears a strap-on penis under them because....reasons. I think that you would find this offensive. Which might be difficult for you to find offensive because in reality, you are a crossdresser. But she isn't. So she does. In my case, I was unlucky that I saw him dressed (not by choice) and the image was seared in my brain. There were a lot of consequences that ultimately led to the break-up.

    I was lucky that I never saw the wig but I have the same view of them. It feels like an attempt to bury the man under it and he would lose himself in the image. And if the man wishes to bury his masculinity under it (even for a short period of time), then he isn't someone who is comfortable 100% with his masculinity. Keep in mind that this is coming from me personally who feels 100% comfortable with her femininity with no need to pretend to be something else at any time. Which is obviously not the way crossdressers operate. But it didn't help understanding this even when he described his experience, which mirrors very closely to how you describe yours. His reasoning sounded like excuses to me because I could no longer trust his word. A bit like "I had too much to drink, otherwise I would have never kissed that girl I met in the bar a year ago".

    To conclude, decide whether the forms and the wig are a hill you are willing to die on. If she is willing to work with you on the clothes but under no circumstances on the wig or forms, the ball will be in your court. As long as you are honest and not pretend/lie/hide, you can only do so much. Keep in mind that you can never tell her what you think she wants to hear, you must tell her the truth, no matter what the result is going to be. Because the result is up to her.

  25. #350
    Accepting GG Dutchess's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by confused_cathreen View Post
    To create a similar idea to you, imagine if you were not a crossdresser. And suddenly your wife starts saying that her jeans only feel complete if she wears a strap-on penis under them because....reasons. I think that you would find this offensive.
    ... and worse when she finally decides to destroy her marriage so that she can wear a plastic penis in her jeans because she has.....needs .......and she is sorry but still .......

    Mine is different because I have been involved with not one but two people like this and I was not looking for someone like this . Both of them had waist length thick dark hair so wigs were not involved . I was raise din a drag home so I have extremely high standards for wig wearing . A Crossdresser I did not know approached me once at a gas station , complete in 50's housewife regalia and ill applied wig/ WILD makeup . He came right up and twirled his skirt at me and it scared me to death , I didn't know if he was misguided , sick or drunk , or dangerous . It really scared me .

    I met my ex husband the normal way and he was never honest about who he was whatsoever . I even asked before marriage because I knew something was up . We did have a cultural difference as I met him in the Netherlands and I was from the states. He was like an ice berg , you only saw the tip and he did not like to talk about anything . You had to guess . When I did find out , his fetish dressing EXPLODED. I mean full on streetwalker with large forms and very expensive fantasy bras .It looked ridiculous . Seriously extreme fetish but he would get upset if you told him you didn't like any part of it or he could not wear XYZ in public. Lots of drama etc . You had to like all of it or else . He was concealing a whole second life and I kept on finding out more and more and more . So I went from accepting to HATING the whole thing . He was never EVER honest and I still think he married me to get out of NL and come here so he could dress in peace and live his life . Terrible .

    I also stepped out of my marriage while he was so smug about this and met my late SO I talk about , strange because s/he was s/he when we met , we were friends for a year first . A member from this forum introduced us . S/he was always honest and just who s/he was . Had been on HRT for years and had some chest going on but not much . S/he always fancied s/he had more than s/he did but just wore a smaller maidenform regular bra and no forms , no pads no nothing . I didn't care and I inherited them after her death . S/he did not make such a big deal out of it or moan about not being a woman or "feeling feminine " ( that translates into feeling something else for me and the word is not feminine ) nor did we talk about gender very much and this was on or OFF HRT as the years went by. We talked about our lives and who we were , what we hoped for , etc etc .. we talked all the time there was nothing I didn't know . I wasn't afraid or suspicious .
    It makes alot of difference if you STAY you and talk .
    Trust is so hard to replace
    Last edited by Dutchess; 03-31-2020 at 01:37 PM.
    Don't turn away, what are you lookin' at?
    He was so happy on the day that he met her
    Say, what are you lookin' at?
    I was a superman but looks are deceiving
    The roller coaster ride's a lonely one
    I'd pay the ransom note to stop it from steaming
    Hey, what are you lookin' at?

    https://youtu.be/YxS4lqppZ6Y

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