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Thread: Ask a GG - Part Two

  1. #126
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    OK, members of this forum. I've read so many erroneous assumptions about GGs here over the years, and I don't know which ones apply to how you personally think. So I'll just mention those I remember, keeping in mind that I don't participate here much and I've forgotten a lot of it. These are in no particular order:

    1. Women get a thrill out of their sexy clothes when they wear them, like CDers.
    2. CDers are more feminine than many women if the CDer wears makeup, skirts, shows cleavage, etc.
    3. Women feel jealous when they encounter a CDer who is skinnier, younger, more made-up than they are.
    4. Women who don't play up a male's definition of femininity with makeup, skirts, cleavage, etc, are masculine.
    5. Women who wear pants are CDing.
    6. When wives disapprove of their CDing husbands, it is because he chooses to wear female items of clothing.
    7. Personality traits and preferences are gender-specific. For example, if a CDer shows emotion it means he is feminine and if a woman is aggressive it means she is masculine. Not true.
    8. Women's underwear are more comfortable than men's underwear.
    9. Women's work boots are cuter than men's work boots. (That's an old one. lol)

    If I think of more, I'll update this post.
    Last edited by ReineD; 10-23-2018 at 02:30 PM.
    Reine

  2. #127
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    Great responses, Reine.

    I would like to chime in and add that menopause does not equal no sex. Most likely more to it than that.

  3. #128
    -1.#QNaN Lydianne's Avatar
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    Good question (#124) and nice, robust response (#127). I understand all of them, but I have a question about number 1 . . kind of . . unless we're referring to bedroom-type-sexy here as opposed to presentable-but-sexy, then I would understand it completely. But just in case we're not, then I have a follow-up question:

    I can understand not having the same clothing high as that of a CDer, but is there not a corresponding one? There is a phenomenon which I have seen occurring plenty of times where, for example, a Madonna-type celebrity* can wear a particular dress to, say, a charity event where she is the most well-known person by far ( i.e. without other celebs of her calibre to dilute her ), and in the following days, we would hear reports that similar versions of that dress are sold out in the high-street stores. What would be the motivation for this happening if there is no thrill to be had?

    *[EDIT] Kate Middleton is probably a better example in recent times. Retail variations of her outfits clear off the shelves in the immediate aftermath of her events. [/EDIT]

    - Lydianne.
    Last edited by Lydianne; 10-24-2018 at 10:39 PM.

  4. #129
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lydianne View Post
    What would be the motivation for this happening if there is no thrill to be had?
    To attract in order to realize success, no matter her goals (seeking to get a man? power? ego? seeking to recapture youth? ). Choice of presentation is a way to manipulate how others think of us, at least at the onset.

    But, if she were alone she wouldn't gain any thrill dressing that way.
    Reine

  5. #130
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    Question to tolerating, accepting or supportive GG partners: what, if anything do you enjoy about your partner’s cross dressing?
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  6. #131
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    He is easier to shop with.

  7. #132
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    What I liked was how it made our relationship so bonding and complete trust in each other. It made our relationship esp in the beginning Sher and I against the world. We had an unconditional love and support. And Sher always was worried how I felt and that I felt special.We loved to shop together and plan outings and events. In the very beginning there was an excitement on. my part for her to experience everything she ever wanted. Then after yrs it was our life.
    No one is going to prob like this part but it’s how I feel / over the years reading about hiding and secrets plus some who bring things out in dribs and drabs - we never had that - I would not have put up with that. So basically it was the relationship and out of love we wanted the best for each other and honestly on both sides.
    I thought maybe I should not answer this but I went there/
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  8. #133
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    It makes him happy.

    ... and after reading Di's post, I must say I'm so grateful that everything's on the table and there is no lying/hiding between us, even though there are people we choose not to tell and so there's a degree of lying/hiding there.

    P.S. Char & Di, in our case, shopping is out of the question. My SO hates to shop (for anything), no matter the presentation. Admittedly, I'm not big on shopping either as I age. I'm at the point of wanting to simplify my life and get rid of stuff. lol
    Reine

  9. #134
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    I am sorry I missed this question so a late reply, if I am allowed. I would say the desire by a certain demographic to copy celebrities is not due to a thrill that they get by wearing their clothes. It's more a desire to belong to a clan. That clan is the "cool" crowd, whatever we consider it to be. Now, I will go one step ahead and say that unless I look like Kate Middleton or at least have her body type and age, I would end up looking like an overstuffed clown where all the negative aspects of my body are accentuated. Those of us who know better would never try to copy something we see in a magazine because we learned what works for us and we stick to it. So, no, the desire to copy is NOT due to a thrill. It only applies to a small demographic of trend followers and it happens only if you can't find your own style. Age cures that illness, lol.

    I would also applaud Reine's list of misconceptions amongst the CDing world. In the last few months, I have read plenty of posts trying to discuss each of these assumptions. Some made me giggle (CDing women, lol!) and some annoyed me(seriously, jealous of what?). Most women I know, and all I met here, don't reside in the land of make-believe. We live in the real world where our mirror tells us the truth daily. I understand the CDing community's daily struggles and I definitely hope more is done to acknowledge their struggle, I said before that us who were hit on the head with a revelation hammer would have appreciated it if we would have known from day one seeing with our own eyes what our partners were so that we could make an informed decision whether to stay or go. Because we really get no personal thrill from all of this. The only thrill for those who accept it is the happiness in their partner's face. The real face by the way, not the make-believe.

  10. #135
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    EDIT to my post #126

    I've just remembered another thing that isn't true:

    10. Women bounce their foot while their legs are crossed because it squeezes certain things and makes them feel good. Seriously. There was a whole thread about this!
    Reine

  11. #136
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    A familiar question. I’m at the beginning of what might become a relationship. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’d be doing her and myself a disservice to try and hide this part of myself, and so if we reach a certain ill-defined point, I would like to come out to her. I have a sense of when that might be appropriate but I’m unsure of how. Any suggestions would be much appreciated.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  12. #137
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    Dear kim, the answer always is by having a detailed discussion while dressed as she met you: a male. Without distractions, not when expecting interruptions, not first thing in the morning or last thing at night and not in a public place. Use the word "crossdresser" and don't downplay it or make it sound like a fetish. Give her a detailed appraisal of the how's and why's and be ready to play 1001 questions. I will tell you a thing you don't hear often here; whatever comes out of this conversation, if she never had to deal with this before, her state of mind will require care for quite a long time after. It's important you often ask her questions yourself about her concerns and if she has any. Don't sit back and think, well I told her now, if she wants to know something, she will ask. A lot of women internalise a million times more than you can imagine. Don't assume anything because chances are, you'll be wrong. Equally as important is that you volunteer without prompting your thought process. If you are struggling, tell her. If you are worried, tell her. But most of all, be clear about what this means to you. Don't downplay it and don't feed her bs in bitesize because it's easier to swallow. Respect her as you hope she will respect you. Best of luck.

  13. #138
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    Hi Kim,
    Cathreen really said it all! I will just stress that you should tell her what dressing means to you. Is is every day, once a week, once a month, 24/7, do you want to sleep dressed? Have sex dressed? Tell her everything. Then tell her what you truly think your plans for the future are, dressed more when you retire? Plan to transition? She will most likely ask the obvious but be truthful - are you gay, bi, hetero? Are you trying to attract attention from men? What are you dreams for 5 years from now, 10 years from now? If you've gotten this far, then tell her how you want her (or any woman) to fit into your life. What are your expectations from a partner? Do you want her participation? No participation? I'm sure she will have many other questions but these are a start.

    I do admire that you are willing to open up early in the relationship and not waste your time or her time if her response is negative. If it is positive, then you have a win. Good luck to you both. I do love a good love story with a happy outcome!

  14. #139
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    I really like what the other Ggs have said. I agree!
    Tell your truth
    Be honest
    Don’t back down ( saying you will stop ect) do not make promises that can not be kept
    Do not take offense if they ask are you gay or bi or whatever/ people not familiar with this do not understand.
    Help her understand
    Help her see everything she likes about you is BECAUSE of how you truly are
    Be proud of yourself it’s a gift
    Give her time to see it is a gift..
    We are here for her if she wants other GGs to talk to.
    I think it will be all ok from what you posted about her and I am hopeful for a love story that really can come from sharing this together. If her first reaction is not good give her time to understand and know we are ALL in your corner.
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  15. #140
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    Ok..so we all agree, I have to come out. At the moment, we are both tentative... my thought is to come out now...come what may. What do you think?
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  16. #141
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    Hi Kim,
    Not really sure what you mean by “you are both tentative”. My guess would be that it’s not about CDing since I don’t think you have told her yet. Tentative about future dating? About a physical relationship? A future relationship? So, again, just guessing here, if you think that you both seem interested about continuing your relationship, then tell her as soon as possible. If this is just a casual, I don’t know if this person is someone I really want to keep seeing relationship, then maybe wait a bit longer to reveal. The relationship may come to a natural end without any further input from your end.
    Last edited by char GG; 11-22-2018 at 05:08 PM.

  17. #142
    tiptoeing thru the tulips ellbee's Avatar
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    Okay, so here's a little scenario for the GG's...


    I was at the post office earlier today. No one else in the lobby, just me & a GG (maybe mid-40s?) who came in right after me. No employees at the front counter, as they were in the back busy doing something.

    I was dressed rather "conservatively"... Pullover hoodie in navy, plain matte-black compression leggings (with the bottom half of my butt showing), black running shoes -- all women's stuff, in guy-mode, at that. Casual-athletic, "masculine" colors, blah blah blah. Of course, YMMV... But in my town? Guys don't wear that stuff. Ever. Except me.


    So, this GG-customer behind me. We were waiting a couple minutes. No employee showed up. I finally tapped the "ring for service" bell. Another minute or two went by, until an employee eventually arrived.

    In addition, my transaction took a bit of time, as well.


    My question is, if you were that GG, what might *you* be doing/thinking for those 5 minutes or so, with plenty of time & opportunity, while I was standing right in front of you, dressed like that? Would you be looking a bit? (I do have a nice lower-body, LOL.) Feel weirded out? Think it was "interesting"? Nothing at all? And keep in mind that no one else was around for a while, and I don't have eyes in the back of my head.


    Of course, you being here on this forum, you may be a bit "biased."

    So, 2-part question... What do you believe a *typical* GG of that age might think/do (if anything) during those 5 minutes, while in that scenario?



    Just curious about a GG's perspective. Thanks!

  18. #143
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    I would probably be thinking that I should have come 5 minutes earlier, lol! If your name isn’t Brad Pitt, I would not have really cared how you were dressed or what your butt looked like. But that’s just me. Maybe the other GGs have another take on the situation.

  19. #144
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    I don’t I would not even notice or care what you had on.I had to run to the post office a few days ago and I do not know or remember anything anyone had on I only remember there was a line and I have no memory if it was men or women in front of me. I do not think anyone would notice unless you are wearing something really out of norm like maybe a bathing suit or wedding gown now that might cause me to notice. I think most are just there doing an errand and in their own world.
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  20. #145
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    To kim:

    I love Confused_cathreen, Char GG, and Di’s answers. As to when you should tell her, I think the best time would be when the two of you take it for granted that you are not seeing anyone else.

    To Ellbee:

    Many people dress in active wear. I would have assumed you were athletic and then thought no more of it. As Di points out, I would have forgotten if there had been anyone else at the post office an hour later. I’m assuming the compression leggings look like something you’d run in? I don’t think this woman would have any way of knowing where you bought the hoodie, the leggings and the sneakers if they look like stuff you’d buy in a men’s store? Also I don't think she'd care even if your sneakers had a pink stripe on it.

    My answer applies to someone who is familiar with CDing, and someone who isn’t.
    Reine

  21. #146
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    I apologise in advance if this will cause offence but you did ask. A straight GG will have no interest in whether your bottom half is attractive, or whether your jogging bottom is sexy or whether your hoodie is chic. 99,9999% of us don't walk around the world assessing other people's clothes. We have lives to get to. She will most propably not care if you are gay, or a straight crossdresser. As Char mentioned, are you Brad Pitt? If not, tough luck, you are going to be unnoticed. Is that what is important to crossdressers, getting noticed, I have wondered about this in the past. I find myself now noticing the crossdressers but am aware I am doing it because I know more on the subject. But, again, I don't care one bit if they are dressed in a manner which I consider attractive. Exactly the same way I don't go around judging women for whatever they have on. Unless it's dressed for clubbing at 10 am in the supermarket and then I will only wonder if they truly feel comfortable in that short skirt and shrug to myself. I think it needs to be said more in here, noone cares what you have on! No real person can stop traffic with what they wear. Unless you are Brad Pitt... As long as your privates are covered, thats the only thing we care for. Maybe that realisation will help more of you to actually go out and be who you want to be. It would make things soooo much simpler for all of us! Thanks for asking though

  22. #147
    -1.#QNaN Lydianne's Avatar
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    In view of the double mention of Brad Pitt:

    Is he actually the guy, or is he just the reset-to-factory-settings? .

    I have always wondered: Why doesn't Pierce Brosnan get more credit? .

    OK, I think I remember hearing that his efforts in Mamma Mia weren't wonderful ( I didn't see it ), but that was very recent. What about before that - Remington Steele, for example?!?? Very visually underrated man, I think. I think the world ought to show more recognition for Pierce Brosnan's looks, in a post office or otherwise.


    ( Of course, my next door neighbour could look better than Brad Pitt, but he wouldn't get the recognition for it. Such is the conundrum: Miss / Mr Universe? . . Or Miss/Mr Best-who-applied. But I digress. Question as asked regarding Mr. Brosnan ).

    Many thanks in advance,
    - Lydianne.

  23. #148
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    If Brad Pitt and Pierce Brosnan were in the same post office with me, it would be a hard decision to leave the building! Both are gorgeous. Pierce Brosnan was great in Remington Steele and James Bond. But truthfully, I am my attraction tends towards blondes (Brad Pitt and the younger Robert Redford types fall into that category). I guess we all would have our favorite “reset” go to. When I met my husband, he looked like Brad Pitt, though. Just didn’t make the same $, lol!

  24. #149
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    Great thread Char!!! Thanks for making it.

    If you were in a relationship w/ a guy who occasionally liked to dress (lingerie, dresses, & makeup to the 9s type dressing), would you still be able to view him as a masculine man when he wasn't en femme or would the knowledge that he liked to CD alter your perception of him, even if he was otherwise a very masculine guy?

    I've never told a girl that I was in a relationship w/ about my dressing (even though I would love to in the hopes they'd be ok w/ it and even help me w/ my makeup and fashion) for the fear that the 10% of the time that I was dressed would skew their perception of me the other 90% of the time.

  25. #150
    Aspiring Artist Kelly DeWinter's Avatar
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    Hi;

    Name the top things that you believe the CD/TG community don't seem to understand about how women relate to one another.
    Kelly DeWinter
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