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Thread: Ask a GG - Part Two

  1. #51
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    Robbiegirl,
    Why on earth are you considering telling your sisters this now? Are you looking for some type of reaction from them? Once you've opened that door, it can't be closed again.

  2. #52
    Aspiring Member krissy's Avatar
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    What about the cd who gets with his wife tells her. then she tries it with him and a girl friend her girlfriend then next day tells you she will try to work it out so we are both happy .then later says i cant stand it i know you do it but i dont want it around me.this is after 38 years and still no compromise the kids are gone and im older i want to dress more at home but she is here im in dadt relationship .i Love her with all my heart but i miss me

  3. #53
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Krissy, it means that after 38 years of marriage, your wife tried to accommodate you but she found that she couldn't. She may have been able to be more flexible had she been younger, but this is sometimes difficult after having lived with you as a man and having had no idea of the CDing for nearly 40 years ...in a conservative state like Texas, nonetheless.

    So your best bet is to negotiate with your wife. You both could establish times when she can make herself scarce so you can dress. Or, maybe you can dress and go out on a regular basis.
    Reine

  4. #54
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Most likely she will not change her mind but maybe you can explain it to her like you did us and work out times or an area in your house you can be free to dress.
    Another option join a cd support group ( not sure if any in your area) where you can go to monthly meetings and be with others.
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  5. #55
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    Hi Krissy,
    Not exactly sure of the time frame you are talking about with your wife. Did the disinterest in your CDing happen over a period of years with her? Maybe she just got tired of accomodating the CDing. Maybe she doesn't really want to see you dressed as a woman at home. Personally, I don't mind seeing my husband dress to go out but for some reason, it irritates me to see him sitting around the house in a silky woman's robe. I have no explanation for my feelings. Was there something that prompted DADT? I agree with Reine and Di. Support groups are a good outlet or negotiating times to CD will work for both of you.

  6. #56
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    My wife told me to get a Panty Girdle to wear to a party at the end of the month. I looked for one today and I guess they are called Shapers now. So in what order do I wear my panties, pantyhose, and shaper? Do I need to wear panties under my shaper? Thanks

  7. #57
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Alaina Ann, this is what I do: I skip the panties when wearing hose. Most hose come with gussets anyway, and I wash my hose after each wear. If I were to wear a girdle, I'd wear the hose underneath ... otherwise, the extra stretching and fitting over the girdle might cause the hose to tear? If unsure you could ask your wife or the salesperson. I don't know many women who wear girdles any more ... or who wear hose for that matter.
    Last edited by Nigella; 10-19-2017 at 10:30 AM. Reason: Referred to post deleted
    Reine

  8. #58
    Member ChubbyLeahCD's Avatar
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    OK question to the GGs:
    When my wife and I started dating, she knew I dressed but at that time I believed it was a fetish and she was OK with it.
    She got pregnant and I went down the shame spiral and tried to repress my femme self. The desires came back when my son was a baby but I was still ashamed so I would hit her side of the closet or some of the outfit I had in our backpack of fun. She caught me once talking to someone online and assumed I was a porn addict and lumped my dressing with it.
    Truth be told, at the time, I thought the same.
    Well, wrong and it all came back. I started counseling and slowly came out to my therapist. She encouraged me to dress for sessions, changing when I got there, and helped me realize that Leah is part of me and not just a fetish.
    Then she helped me realize that I am bisexual and had repressed all that because of some abuse I suffered as a child and as a young adult. By then, I had been married for 10 years. (12 this year)
    Through therapy I started shopping discretely for myself, being daring some but am still closeted.
    Wife a couple of weeks back when we were talking about LGBT rights said she now understood why that’s my cause, because of my abuse and admitted that early on in our marriage wondered if I was gay or bi.
    The outfits I wore when she knew are still in the same backpack, even though she had told me toss it all when the “addiction” came up.
    So GGs, if you have an SO who came out to you, did you ever suspect and if you did, did you try to ignore the signs as to not open Pandora’s box?
    Or do you think that her women’s intuition is already at work here?

    Sorry I know it’s a long post but I had to give y’all the background.
    xoxo,

    Leah

    "Man, I feel like a Woman!"

  9. #59
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    Leah,

    I'm not sure if I'm the best one to answer, being still relatively new to this all (6+ months). I hope some of the GG's who are married and then had their spouse come out to them, or at least been in longer relationships with their cd'er, will chime in and answer your inquiry, but here are my thoughts;

    It may be that you have subconsciously or consciously done things or left *hints* or *traces* throughout the years that your wife has picked up on, women's intuition, as you say. But it might be hard for her to face the truth of it all (Your Pandora's Box theory), she may not want to, given the little history you have posted here. I don't know.

    Does she know about your therapy and your progression at all? If she asked you to throw out the things in the backpack and doesn't know that you didn't, that could be messy if and/or when she finds out. She may feel betrayed on some level, and subsequently overreact to all of it. It seems that's when some wives/girlfriends/SO's start laying down the ultimatums. They feel that things are out of their control and they need to gain some of that control back. And fast!

    In my opinion, I think it would be best to come completely clean to her. Tell her as though you are coming out for the first time (obviously more than just the fetish side she does know about) and offer love, support, and understanding for her and what she might go through as she (hopefully) comes to terms with all of this.

    If she's making comments, it's already running through her mind in some capacity. Our brains are wired to be more active then a mans, we think and rethink, analyse and over-analyse, to a point where it can become obsessive... consuming... damaging... and you wouldn't even know or see it coming.

    I hope this helps, and I hope things work out for the best.

    g

  10. #60
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    I know I have woman's intuition about many things. So many be your wife does. Maybe since you seem to be hiding a lot of things she is picking up on it. I think you are saying she does Not know about the dressing at the therapist, shopping ect but only knew about your clothing stash when it was more a fetish for you- it starts out like that for many.
    In my case
    We met as Sher and Di so I knew from the beginning and are going through this journey together.
    In my case ( I can only speak how I'd feel) I would be livid.Its like you have a complete hidden life without her.Can you not speak to your therapist on how to fix this- maybe bring your wife in on a session.

    I agree with g you should tell her and explain it about it coming out when going to therapy.
    But I am telling you this as I do not know her but how I would feel. For many GGs I know it's the hiding that is hard for them to get over.
    Best Wishes
    Last edited by Di; 11-22-2017 at 06:46 AM.
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  11. #61
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    If you associate sexual fantasies with the crossdressing (else how would you be aware of your attraction to men ... unless you know that you are attracted to men also while in guy mode?), then I understand why your wife is reluctant to support you ... that is, if the crossdressing does nothing for her sexually. So if you do have something in your life that gives you sexual pleasure outside of your wife, no matter what it is, she might feel left out and not want to condone it.

    On the other hand, if there are no associated sexual fantasies and you simply need to express femininity, just have a long talk with your wife and tell her the truth; tell her that you need to express a feminine self. Also, make sure that the clothing you choose to wear reflects this (no dressing up as if you are wanting to attract a man, if this is what you mean by "daring"). There are lots of ways to be feminine without needing to be "daring".
    Reine

  12. #62
    Member ChubbyLeahCD's Avatar
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    Thank you ladies.
    She does know that I go to counseling but only knows it’s anout my struggles as a person, mindfulness, selfishness, etc.
    I haven’t told her these things came up through counseling, so she’s clueless.
    She does know I have a heart for the lgbtq cause and that as a tween and teen I did have a phase of confusion
    xoxo,

    Leah

    "Man, I feel like a Woman!"

  13. #63
    Señora Member Robertacd's Avatar
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    I know it has probably been asked before but in reference to this thread: Intimacy of Underwear, please tell us how GG's really feel.

  14. #64
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    No. GGs are not sexually aroused when getting new panties or any other type of new clothing.

    Everybody likes new things, of course, but this goes for any new thing (household goods, things involving hobbies, etc), not just clothing. That type of "liking new things" is not arousal.
    Reine

  15. #65
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    They are just clothes, nothing to get excited about. Winter clothes, in particular, are function over fashion in the cold weather.

  16. #66
    Señora Member Robertacd's Avatar
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    In reference to the Favorite Complement thread.

    How often do GG' s actually complement another GG that is total stranger on their outfit?

    How many times have you ever been complemented on your look by another GG that was a total stranger?

    Not counting store sales staff that are trying to make a sale.

    I tend to think that while we all love to be complemented. But if a GG would go out of her way to point out how good of job you did. It is really a sign that you are not passig.

  17. #67
    ADMINISTRATOR Sandra's Avatar
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    I can honestly say I've never complimented a total stranger be it GG or otherwise on their outfit, and I've never been complimented either.
    Sandra
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  18. #68
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    I've lived on this planet for many decades. Many. lol

    Throughout my life I can only think of a few times when I've asked another woman where she got something while expressing admiration (her purse, her coat, a top, etc), but that's only because I had already been looking for something similar. So all in all... maybe half a dozen times out of the tens of thousands of interactions I've had with women throughout my life.

    I've been to a few black tie affairs, where people dress in a manner that we don't see in our daily lives. On those occasions, female friends can and do compliment one another (not strangers), but that just translates to "Oh my, don't you look good all dressed up and glam". lol. It's more about recognizing that they made an effort they don't normally make and they look way different than they normally do. Call it more a compliment on the effort they've made. Again, of all the thousands of evenings I've gone out with female friends or couples, this situation has only arisen less than half a dozen times.

    Once a young woman was standing in front of me while we were waiting in line to order a latte. She had an exceptionally great head of hair. Long, thick, curly (not frizzy), in a honey blonde color that is rare and not fake. Truly beautiful, unlike anything I had ever seen. I told her she had great hair. But, compliments like this are reserved for the truly striking - things that stand out far above anything else (including all the gorgeous models we see every day in the media and in magazines), and not just a top I think is nice or a regular head of nice-ish hair.

    If a GG points out how good you look and you're just dressed up for day-to-day stuff, chances are she is acknowledging your effort, which is still a nice thing to do.
    Last edited by ReineD; 02-12-2018 at 02:44 AM.
    Reine

  19. #69
    Junior Member Jasmine Rose's Avatar
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    At what point in a relationship is it the right time to tell someone that you enjoy crossdressing? I am asking this as an abstract question since I don't have a girlfriend right now. However once I do start dating again I don't want to hide this part of me if it is going to be something serious. If I get married someday, my wife to be should know what she is getting before she says yes to my proposal. The real question is, how much before?

  20. #70
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    As soon as it begins to get serious and you suspect that she returns the feelings you have for her. No need to tell if the relationship is nothing more than casual, you have no commitments, and you both feel that the relationship will go no further.
    Reine

  21. #71
    Member Robbiegirl's Avatar
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    Do you think women are way more aware of crossdressers and signs their guy might be one than they were 30 years ago ? I posted this story ( below) of what I did 30 years ago and was wondering if todays younger women would react any differently than back then and maybe be suspicious. Or are modern women more use to guys trying on their lingerie just for fun ?

    was not sure when I was going to tell my live in Girlfriend of 2 months but one morning, she was doing what she always does. Which was blow drying her hair in one of her lacy bikini Bra and Panty sets (maidenform sweet nothings) while facing the mirror. I noticed she had several similiar Maidenform sets on the bed since she had just folded them. Since she is a bit curvy and I am skinny Her Babyblue lacy French Cut Panties & bra fit fairly well and I made sure to try and not look excited. Anyway I wrapped a towel around my head like she always did and I walked in wearing the same lingerie as her and asked with a limp wrist if I could borrow her drier. when she looked at the mirror and saw we were wearing matching sets she fell over laughing ! I could not get her to stop for several minutes ! Anyway when she came to her senses she started chasing me around the house with nail polish in her hands !

  22. #72
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    Robbiegirl: This seems to be a very general question. Since every GG would probably react differently, the answer would vary depending on the person.

  23. #73
    Member shellybme's Avatar
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    How many bras does a girl regularly own? I feel i have hit the qouta lol
    "Girls of all kinds can be beautiful-from the thin, plus sized, short, very tall, ebony to porcelain-skinned; the quirky, clumsy, shy, outgoing and all in between. It's not easy though because many people still put beauty into a confining, narrow box...Think outside of the box...Pleadge that you will look in the mirror and find the unique beauty in you." Tyra Banks

  24. #74
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Shelly - we’ll my sister is practical and has two bras one white one black.
    But I have a huge drawer full work bras ( practical comfort ones) pretty ones that are comfortable/ fun ones all colors nude,black, red ,leopard ect
    So depends on you
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  25. #75
    Member shellybme's Avatar
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    Oh... then I’m ok. I have 5 bras in total. A nude, pink, hot pink racer back, a red lace, and a white T-shirt bra.

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