Winter blue

[Mafalda]

And so, here I am again. Sadness comes unwanted and I'm not happy to be a crossdresser anymore. It seems more like a curse, all this strain and thinkings about going out for a walk in heels and telling my wife or not and were to hide my female things... I'm not positive. In summer I feel better, I have more funny things to do, I'm not into crossdressing (mostly because of hair).
In moments like this, I purged everythings away, years ago. Not this time. Let's wait for the better!
Sorry for this post, I needed to speak out somehow. Thank you

[Pat]

Malfalda -- Winter is hard on people even in the best of situations. In terms of the "curse" and strain of being who you are, I have sympathy; I remember those feelings. For me the solution was to come out so I didn't have to lie or hide anymore. Only you can decide if that's a good route for you or not, but if you're suffering from having to conceal yourself it's worth thinking about. Maybe see a counselor.

Good luck.

[Lana Mae]

We are here for you to vent! DO NOT PURGE! You will regret it later! Maybe see a counselor. Best wishes Hugs Lana Mae

[JeanTG]

I agree, do NOT purge. Trust us, it won't work. It'll just increase the cost crossdressing, and it won't do anything to "cure" you. What I do when I hit one of those downs, is put everything away in an old suitcase, then in a hard to reach place in the attic. It is a disincentive to get the stuff back out again. But when the urge is uncontrollable, as I know it will be again at some time in the not too distant future, then I know it is still there for me. The only thing I throw out are things that never fit or look right to begin with, or worn out panties or bras, torn hose, etc. But I never purge and haven't in quite a few years now. Too much money and emotion invested into my wardrobe.

I'm OK with winter. I have a few days most weeks to dress and that keeps me perky. I've been working hard on presentation lately... makeup, breast forms, wig, the works. Buying a little something feminine for myself when I'm down works wonders for my blues! It doesn't have to be a big-ticket item; a pair of pantyhose, a new shade of lipstick. Things that won't break the bank but will give you something to try on and look forward to.

Yes it is a hard life we lead, especially those of us in DADT. But lead it we must... it's as much a part of me as hair or eye colour.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Mafalda, Just put every thing away and take a brake for a while,

And it will probably come back better than ever......

[Mafalda]

Thank you all, really, you're great. I will keep in mind all your suggestions. I think I will stop thinking about it for a little, letting my thoughts settle. Hugs!

[Stephanie47]

I kind of shy away from summer time dressing. Mainly because my wife is off from school for ten weeks! Sigh! Yes, I'd love to be en femme in my backyard, wearing cute summer dresses. On the other hand being en femme in the winter can be great too. Sweater dresses, knee high boots, winter jackets/coats, hats, scarves, gloves. Many of these are great for concealing my imperfections that would tip the world off that I am a man under all that feminine clothing. And, since darkness comes earlier in the day there is actually more time to go out and play.

[Nikki A.]

Unfortunately winter blues and pink fog don't always mix well. Mafalda just do what feels right. It is not always easy, but, it is who we are and believe or not as we get older we find that priorities and thoughts change.
As for me I seem to dress more in the winter than in the summer. The reason I can deal with the cold more than the heat and there are less neighbors out in the winter so it is easier to get out and head back in dressed. I do admit though I am getting to the point where I really don't care that much who sees me but I do want to keep a little distance between the two.

[GretchenM]

I do not recommend purging. Your desires will likely come back and if you can't address them without going out and buying something you will likely feel even more frustrated and that will make the desire seem stronger and you will likely fall deeper into discomfort. However, also recognize that there is also a possibility the urge will not come back. This behavior is not set; it is an "evolutionary" process. That said, it is far more likely that if you are over 16 years old when the boundaries of our gender identity are pretty much set, then the urge will come back again and again and ... As others have said, put it all away but throw away nothing but those things that might get stale or infested with bacteria (mostly liquids). Nothing wrong with taking a break.

I discovered that forcing things to go this way or that way only makes things worse. Let your identity flow and become whatever it wishes to become and you will be much happier. As for the Winter Blues, I understand and combine that with Pink Fog and you end up with a lot of Gray when they are mixed. It is pretty ugly. I took up knitting in the winter and it helped and also seemed to be quite acceptable to my feminine identity, neutral to my masculine identity, and acceptable to my wife. Knitting cured a lot of disagreeable things. Do some exploring, reading about gender in general, do some kinda-sorta feminine things (like knitting or crochet). Those down times if turned into an opportunity for growth can be rewarding. But, as I said, try not to force things to go in a particular direction. In me and in others I know, that rarely ends well.