Smart Remark

[MelanieAnne]

I don't usually buy much at Kmart. But I was in the Key West Kmart the other day, and they had a rack of cute dresses on sale. I did a quick check of the rack, and found a nice tropical print, pullover dress, smooth slithery rayon, with an elastic waist that I was sure would fit, so I decided to buy it. I took it up to the register, and laid it on the counter, and the cashier, a lady around 50, looked at it and said, "Good choice. You'll look good in it". Caught me by surprise, but for some reason, I was not offended or embarrassed by the remark. I just said, "It's not for me. Valentines day is next week". She sort of persisted, in a light way, saying, "Well, it's still a good choice, and will look good on her........or whoever it's for". I just said, "Yeah, I hope so", and left. Walked outside with my purchase, into 80 degrees and sunshine, and it just didn't bother me. No need to call the manager, or get upset. Key West does tend to mellow me out. I'm not gay, but it's a very gay friendly town, with a gay mayor, and police chief, and plenty of gay bars and clubs. The towns motto is "One human family". So, if you are the least bit hesitant to go out dressed, Key West is the place to start. No one cares if you pass or not. Locals and tourists expect to see crossdressers in Key West, so just go for it, and don't worry about it. Jimmy Buffett summed it up nicely years ago, when an interviewer asked him about Key West, and he replied, "Nobdy here cares what you do"!

[Julie MA]

I love when that happens. If they want to open the door, I am happy to walk through it.

Key West sounds like Provincetown, without the snow, frigid ocean waters, and deserted areas during winter.

[Stacy Darling]

35- 40 degrees celsius here in Oz, so a nice short dress is just what you need. Now I'll have to research where Key west is, Oh Life!

[JeanTG]

I would have owned it, and said "Do you think so? Why thank you! I'm looking forward to wearing it!".

[MelanieAnne]

Now I'll have to research where Key west is, Oh Life!

It's in Florida. At the end of the road, as far south as you can go in the US. 90 miles to Cuba, if that helps.

[Territx]

I would have had the same responses that you did -- except with "red cheeks" showing my embaressment!

[Stephanie47]

I've seen news stories about Key West. If it is as gay friendly/transgender friendly as the news programs, then maybe the majority of customers at K-Mart are cross dressing men. She may be making some assumptions based on past interactions. Your narrative did not give any indication of voice inflections, etc. Once when I was buying a very nice piece of Vanity Fair shapewear at a JC Penny the sales associate (50 ish) made a comment which was definitely condescending. That was back in the early 1980's. I don't think she still works there!

[MelanieAnne]

then maybe the majority of customers at K-Mart are cross dressing men.

Ummm, possible, but mostly Cubans. Lots O Cubans down here.

[Tracii G]

Why is it people here equate CDing or in this case buying a dress to being gay???
Homophobia is everywhere even here.
None of my gay male friends would even think about buying or wearing a dress.

[docrobbysherry]

I never shop dressed and so rarely ever hear cracks like that. But, when I do, I have own:

Hmmmm. I'm not sure it matches my eyes/shoes/hair/underwear. What do u think?

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Melanie Anne, The few times that has happened to me I just turn it back on the SA

and tell them that I sure hope so or I will be returning it in the Morning......

[MarciManseau]

But not rayon... it's too hot... doesn't breathe. Cotton is much better.

[Marianne S]

Why is it people here equate CDing or in this case buying a dress to being gay???
Homophobia is everywhere even here.

Well, "homophobia" isn't really the word for that assumption. "Stereotyping," definitely! "Homophobia," not necessarily.

[Heidi Stevens]

Melanie, good grief girl! ITS KEY WEST! What is there to complain about? Jean had it right, own every complement you get.
Wish I was there to enjoy the water and the sunsets!

[Tracii G]

Well actually it is Marianne.
Melanie Anne made it sound that way by saying "I'm not gay".
Was she offended by the SA making that remark or offended by the SA assuming she was gay?
I see it here in posts all the time

[Meghan4now]

I am a little confused here. It sounded like she was being earnest
(Pun intended), and you were not offended. So why did you dodge? And as has been mentioned it was in Key West. Seriously, if you weren't bothered by, why lie?

Guess my perspective has changed. I don't care if people I don't know know if I'm a crossdresser, unless it appears that it would cause a scene or be a danger. In fact, when I shop for women's clothes, and a sales person wants to help, I am happy to let them know, so they can actually be helpful. Nothing worse than giving some vague description.

[Lori Kurtz]

For years, when I would buy feminine things for my wife or for myself, I would be all flummoxed when a sales associate would make a remark like that. But eventually, after I got over that "Oh my god what if they figure out that I'm a crossdresser" fear, I decided to be prepared to respond to those remarks. I'd say something like, "Yes, I think this will be one of my sexiest dresses." And then give the sales person a big smile. Let her wonder if I'm just playing along with her "joke," or if I'm an uncommonly proud crossdresser.

[Anne van D]

I went to a drugstore in Southern California while on a business trip and I bought some nail polish, leggings and a sun dress they had on a small rack. I wasn't sure it would fit, but it was cheap, so I went ahead. The cashier was a man and when he was ringing up the purchase, he held up the nail polish and said, "this matches your shirt." I was a bit taken aback by the comment, so I said, "um... well... yeah." What I was trying to say when my mouth wasn't working, was "I was trying to match the color of the dress... But, thank you."

I was mostly surprised that he would say something. Until then, all of the cashiers have never said anything.

[Angie G]

It has happened to me a few time naver botherd a bit it was never a big deal.
Angie

[ronda]

I was buying panties one time at an outlet store the SA ringing them up ask if they were for me my reply was why you don't think they will look good on me she stood there looking like a deer in the head lights then said she had never gotten a reply like that and started laughing

[Jenny22]

I was buying a dress for myself at a Kohl's store. The cashier asked me if I tried it on. I replied,"No, I Know my size" and smiled. Then she smiled too.

[Nicole90]

I love Key West. This girl is a Parrothead! I haven't gone out dressed yet but the southern most point may be the place to do it.

[Tama]

I got a tattoo in Provincetown years ago, at Mooncusser..the most interesting town I had ever seen up till that point in time.

[DIANEF]

I bought some womens heeled boots a few weeks ago (in drab), young female SA (not the one who served me) said 'you'll look good in those'. Wasn't sure if she was being sarky but I responded, 'yes, depends what I'm wearing them with'. Surprised myself as usually I'm stuck for something to say.

[Tracii G]

I have found most SA are just making small talk and trying to be friendly.
Just go with it and have fun its not like you know the SA personally.
No reason to be a dick to her/him they are just doing their job.
If you take offense or get snarky it just makes you look bad.