Talk With Spouse

[Fiona123]

I had a good talk with my spouse about the therapy I have started. The talk included my bouts of depression, gender dysphoria, gender generally, and crossdressing. She was more accepting them in the past. A little progress was made I think.

[Traci H]

Fiona, any time an SO can be a little more accepting, I think we would all would be very happy for that person. Personally I would view it as the possibility of moving towards more acceptable in the future. That the little crack might open further. Of course time will tell for you. Pray to God, cross your fingers, whatever might work.

Traci

[Teresa]

Fiona,
May I ask do you suffer from depression aside from your Cding situation ? I used anti-depressants for some time and was again prescribed recently, but I didn't really need them , my problem was just dealing with my CDing in a DADT situation. I suppose you could call it confused frustration rather than depression. Yes it did lead to moods swings simply because my brain was going around in circles. My counsellor wondered how I'd dealt with the suppression for so long, like most things you eventually learn to live with it but it's not easy.
I'm glad it's moving forward for you, small steps are better than large ones because sometimes you have to accept a few backward ones !

[Fiona123]

I'm pretty sure the depression has to do with being so closeted and being in a fast situation. I was extremely depressed last christmas. The only thing I wanted was to be out, I was miserable

It was nice to come out even if only a little

[Stephanie47]

I made a comment to your thread asking "How long can DADT last?" Forever was my answer. I think it is always a sign of progress when the husband and wife can openly talk about any issue in their marriage. Discussion does NOT include throwing comments which have the intention of causing harm. I would view depression as a symptom of not being able to discuss your cross dressing with your wife or expressing yourself. I would not expect any wife to automatically do a complete 180 on cross dressing. Hopefully she can make some sort of accommodation so you may be able to express yourself. But, don't lose sight of her feelings which may never align 100% with your feelings.

[Fiona123]

Stephanie: thanks for your kind advice. I am very careful not to blame my spouse or to make her out to be the enemy. I will also heed the advice of other past posts and go very slowly.

Thanks to Traci and Theresa for their comments. My therapist asked once about my support community. This forum is my community.

[CONSUELO]

Fiona,

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. I have long thought that the secretive and often double life lived by most cross dressers leads to depression. It can be a very lonely life for some as they protect their secret from discovery. I do hope that your friends on this Site are a help. However, do seek out professional help too.