Trying to think positively

[evadan]

So my birthday is this coming week and I'm taking the day off. I will have the house to myself and plan to pamper myself all day.

Here's where the positive thinking comes in - it seems like more often than not when these opportunities come up, something gets in the way. Either one of our adult kids decides to visit, or our younger son gets sick, or there is an emergency at work, or the power goes out or some other catastrophe ruins my plans. Am I the only one or does that happen to anyone else?

Anyway, I'm hoping and praying I can celebrate my special day with some quality Eva time!

Cheers!

[Robin777]

I'm hoping you get some Eva time too. Everyone needs to enjoy their birthday the way they want.

[Jaylyn]

Stock up on candles n flashlights, call n make sure your kids can't be there, n give your son some vitamin so he will be healthy, and then stay at home enjoy the day as Eva. Dress, relax, and enjoy your special day.

[DIANEF]

I could write the book on my plans being thwarted, right now got a 3 week gap before I can have any me time. Hope you don't have to wait as long Eva. PS just had my birthday, I got a bar of Toblerone!!

[S. Lisa Smith]

I hope things work out well for you!!

[Teresa]

Eva,
You missed out on the delivery driver, my son never tells me he's redirected parcels and my neighbour has instructed all deliveries to my address when he's not at home and that was without having the courtesy to ask first.

I hope it all goes well and you have a great time. I will add that when I'm getting ready to go out socially my son or sister in law always ring when I'm waiting for my nails to dry, I do a great Dick Dastardly impression !

[Lana Mae]

Murphy's Law: Anything that can go wrong will and at the worse possible time! Happens all the time! I hope you have a great birthday with no interruptions and all are happy and healthy! Hugs Lana Mae

[GretchenM]

Happy Birthday! And you are not alone when it comes to interruptions and failed plans due to any number of things. I am able to do it only when I am alone and there is always this fear that someone will show up. I guess discovery goes with the territory. When being thwarted happens I feel sad but then I know another opportunity will arise and I look for that. As you say, stay positive. In the meantime, I find other things that keep the urge and desire and need at bay. But they are only diversionary tactics and over time those needs grow stronger and stronger. I know that eventually I will have a window. But sometimes there is still a problem. Because the desire is not continuous and I can only be comfortable expressing as Gretchen when I feel quite feminine, the window of opportunity must correspond with one of those periods. So, it is not just things involving others, it is also me. As a result I just muddle through most of the time until desire and opportunity coincide. Then Gretchen plays and enjoys. Only solution is to transition to full time, but I don't want to be full time and so that solution is not a solution. It is hard sometimes, but life is still worth living and because in terms of behavior and attitude and thinking patterns I am Gretchen most of the time, dressing is just something that I do to validate who I am. Once the validation is achieved then I can go back to being a girl in drab with an expression that involves behavior more than physical expression by looking the part. Is that satisfactory? Not really; it is just what is possible due to life circumstances. So, no matter what happens, enjoy your birthday, spend some time thinking about who you have become, take joy in that, and move forward to your next year.

[StephanieM]

Yeah I know the feeling. It seems every time I get a long weekend something screws it up.

Happy birthday!

[Judy-Somthing]

I know what your saying. Knowing that someone could come home any moment definitely takes away from the enjoyment of dressing.

My adult children who all have their own place will drop by unexpectedly if they're in the neighborhood, they all have keys.

And they are welcome to come in even if I'm not at home.

Last month I just got fully dressed with makeup and I heard a car pull into the driveway, it was my oldest son.

I pulled everything off and jumped into the shower. When I came downstairs he was sitting in the kitchen eating.

That was the day my wife found my 4" heels.

[phili]

IF this was a Freakonomics show, we would point out that your birthday is a significant day to lots of people and they will more than likely want to be part of your life that day! Staying home signals both where you are and that you will be 'lonely', and both of those increase the drivers for visits. Your son will understand that if you are home, he should be too! Etc . You might want to consider going away from home for the day- a day out, and enjoy your Eva time in a public place- a new museum or theme park, waterfront shopping center, etc. I find it is really satisfying in a deep way, and promise your son to bring back a present..

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Eva, No you are not the only one that has bad luck like that,

Lets just hope that the stars align for your special day......

[CarlaWestin]

Eva, it took many years of mental self conditioning to get away from thinking that way. I use to think that the bad things that happened were somehow the result of my crossdressing as some kind of punishment by karma nonsense. Once you understand and embrace the truth, you'll discover that the truth has no agenda.

[carhill2mn]

Happy Birthday! I also hope that you can spend it as Eva. Do your kids give you a call before they come?

[Debra Russell]

I recently had a day - mid-day to later evening to dress and do what I wanted when in walked my daughter (50yr old) and saw me sitting there in all my dressed glory ! -- well she had seen me dressed and out at a local fare before and knew about me but that was years ago. Well it wasn't too surprising and so we went out to dinner had a good time and facetimed my wife - all
in all a comfortable and confirming experience; but usually when an outing is planed something comes up, If she had come home earlier it just would not have happened................................Debra

[Dana44]

Yeah think positively but be prepared for anything because if it is your birthday, you kid may come to see you to wish you a happy birthday or at least call. I hope all goes well and you do have the time to be you.

[ambigendrous]

I used to be like that, but when my wife and I retired I asked her if it would be okay for me to dress around the house and she graciously gave her blessing! The one son who lives locally works so he won't be dropping by unexpectedly and my wife takes care of answering the door if someone knocks. Other than that I have complete freedom to dress as I want, when I want, in the house and the back yard. She prefers I don't go out in public, and that is fine with me; and she doesn't want our kids or grandkids to be exposed and that is also fine with me. Having an accepting wife makes life so much easier!

[Maria 60]

Don't tell anyone your home and don't answer the phone. I know exactly what your talking about, it seem like when we get our time all hell breaks lose until the dress time isn't there anymore. Good luck and let us know how it all works out.

[Becky Blue]

Good luck and happy birthday, I hope the day works out for you!!

[evadan]

Good news and bad news! So one of my older sons who lives out of town called today and will join us for dinner on my birthday - which is great but...

I asked him if he had any idea when he might come into town. He said he wasn't sure since he has the day off. Of course, he has a key to the house.

Luckily, I have a Plan B: I will take off Friday instead. Fingers crossed!

And Carla, I agree. I don't think it's a Karma thing when things get in the way of my Eva time. It's just life. Life with an alter ego that is!

[windshear]

Perhaps you could stay at a hotel, get some double-relaxation in.

[evadan]

That would be nice but I have a 16 year old at home and my wife is out of town this week.