Possible baby steps

[Amanda Katharine]

My fiancée is fully accepting an encouraging but she's not comfortable with me dressing in public. I have no desire to be full time or fully out, but I would enjoy us going out as 2 girls on a date once in a while if we go out of town. Well, we're doing our Valentine's celebration a little early since we got an Outback coupon that expires today and I have to work Tuesday night anyway.

I've done some underdressing before such as a bra and pantyhose(I wear panties full time) which she is completely fine with. However, I was able to get her to take a baby step and she's going to let me wear ladies dress pants out tonight along with my underdressing. I'm trying to get her to let me wear some black flats out as well but I don't think that will be successful today.

I'm taking my time and taking baby steps, but hopefully one day we'll be able to go out for a girls night.

[jennifer0918]

You should dress en femme with wig,makeover,and heels one day for her at home, and ask what she thinks?For me going out en femme is the ultimate experience and enjoy it.Good luck

[Amanda Katharine]

Do that quite a bit. She usually does my makeup for me.

[suzanne]

If you wife is anything like mine, it's attracting attention, any, but especially negative, the gives her the issues. But we've found that when I dress right, nobody notices. By "right" I mean ladies pants and top with a woman's cardigan. And she's OK with being anywhere with me. She draws the line at shoes. Boots with a small heel are OK. It's complicated, but it amounts to a compromise we can both live with. So everything I have on comes from women's clothing stores and the over all look is on the femme side of androgynous. I can tell people are taking a slightly longer look at me, but nothing has ever come of it, so my wife feels I am successfully under the radar.

[Meghan4now]

If she is fully accepting, plan a weekend out of town, and she can help you get ready. If you need better help (i.e. beard cover), think about finding a makeup artist or transformation service out of town and have a blast.

[phili]

You are in the fiancée honeymoon stage where you try to find all the things you can make right about each other, and your fiancée is having to remake her image of you which is the core of what will hold you together in marriage through thick and thin- so this is an important time to feed your understanding of her as well as hers of you. Try to make it, if you aren't already, a mutual opening and sharing experience so you are finding out more about her as well, and not just what she thinks of you! then you will have a very strong foundation and honest relationship for the decades ahead.

Good negotiating practice means not losing sight of your position [girls night out wanted] but realizing that the relationship is complex and multidimensional, and the more points of connection and shared feelings and knowledge, the stronger the web and more opportunities to give each other what you both need, so it always feels bright, alive, and equal.

[Helen_Highwater]

If she is fully accepting, plan a weekend out of town, and she can help you get ready. If you need better help (i.e. beard cover), think about finding a makeup artist or transformation service out of town and have a blast.

Further to Meghan's sound advice I would recommend seeking out a group that you both could visit. I'm conscious that I could be sounding like a stuck record as this is something I've said many times before but it has one huge advantage, it's a controlled environment. If after spending time with the other CD'ers, yours and your SO's confidence is such, then take those first steps out into the wider world even if only for a short walk. Additionally, with your SO seeing you in a social situation and that you're not alone in being you then she may be more accepting of going out elsewhere at a later date.

[mandi77]

It's been a month and a half for us since we went out together. We drove around town at night only. I was dressed in a dress with pumps and a small sweater. We had fun but she was very tired because she worked all day and we did this late a night. We are also taking small baby steps and hope that one day we are able to go out in public. I just hint about some things here and there we can do and once she ask if I was going to dress up as we were going out on our weekly date. I just didn't have the courage to do it. It will take time as she and I get comfortable, for now I just dress up while she's out or sleeping.

[Beverley Sims]

I think the big step for you is convincing her you need to wear a wig.