Dressing At Home

[phili]

I've been touting the outing for a while, since it is very cathartic to get out the door, and strangely peaceful when out. I always come home a better person, more relaxed and feeling more unified. I spend the day in a dress today and decided to change to male clothes to go help my elderly neighbor with her TV remote- I just figured it was too much extraneous information for her to process. This doesn't leave me feeling pinched, though, I am thoroughly enjoying dressing at home and as others have said, can just enjoy what I have on and feeling all that I wanted to feel.

Going out is less presssing, now that I have made the statement that I am claiming the right to do it. When taking the occasion to dress up in clothes that feel great, and enjoying seeing myself attractive, I can see that if I am not with someone who actually would find me attractive, it is more like a speech on gender rights. So rather than just feel I HAVE TO GET DRESSED, I can objectively think now whether I want to have that speech overriding what else I am trying to talk with someone about. It seems similar to what I imagine women feel -not wanting to be overdressed or overstyled for a particular conversation.

Crossdressing addresses a lot of different threads in me- some of them more personal and private, so the meaning really isn't something for the public. All this said, I am so much farther along because I have gone out. Closeted seemed so confining, but now it seems like an asset to have a home where I can freely dress and express, and being considerate of my wife, who doesn't like it, yet not hiding or tense. I really really recommend that each person find a place and time to go out to libraries, museums, restaurants, stores, etc, and just connect socially with other people when dressed, as it normalizes crossdressing and grounds it. You find your own level , so to speak! Crossdressing is something that is unique for each person, and something that when always hidden tends to have a lot of mystery to it so we are not as confident as we have a right to be. We draw clues to safety from others,- that's why it is good to go out - learning about yourself more clearly, and why and when and how you want to interact in the crossdressed state! It is not that it is wrong, it is just strange and demands or limits attention from others in new ways. The meanings we see from crossdressing are partly personal and partly social, and the social part needs us to connect with others.

[Jane G]

Hi Dian. Yes I go out less than when I was younger. I've always been in the closet and was a field engineer for years, so had far more opportunity to dress without fear of someone I knew recognising me. I still get out for drives in my car and to walk the moors. But mainly I'm content to dress a home.