Hiatus?

[windshear]

Anyone decide to "take a hiatus" on CDing, by their own accord, to "reel her in" a bit? I'm floating the idea of a pause.

I typically only dress at home and the SO doesn't mind... but lately the pink fog has rolled on hard to the point of "pink fever" and I feel the urge to go further (out). I don't really have any shoes or femme coats for the winter nor would I even know where to start with makeup... and all three would be necessary "blend in". It doesn't seem realistic and I think I'd be approaching my SO's comfort limits.

I feel like I need to get back in control... What do you all think? Could I do something like "no dressing for 30 days"?

[Vikky]

Hi Windshear

I have just come back home after several months away when I had no opportunity to dress en femme. Took a few days to sort my femme clothes out of storage and start again when SO said “Surprised it took you so long”. Have now slept en femme every night for two weeks, and fully and part dressed (bra and forms under drab) several times.

Vikky

[EnvyxD]

I can't say much but I found for me having her stuck in your head 24/7 365 without letting her breathe or a chance to express that part of yourself caused more chaos than letting her be free and in charge for a bit I've spiralled pretty far down from keeping her locked up and that's what started me into crossdressing for casual times rather than just as something "jokingly" at a dress up party it was a part of me and since I've accepted her in my life my mind has been given peace I don't know how much of this is helpful to your case but that is my little story on the matter

[Diane Taylor]

Putting a 30 day time limit on your dressing in my opinion is not the way to go about it. Let whatever time you may need be what guides you. I think most of us have toned it down a bit from time to time and then ramped it back up when we felt the time was right.

[IamWren]

There was a member here just a couple of months ago who took an indefinite hiatus. She was one of the most passable and attractive CDers I've seen here. She gave her reasons and said adios. She has not posted since. She visited about two months later but I think only to change her avatar from her mug to one of the standard choices from here on the site. And I think she deleted more of her photos.

Soooo... I guess it can be done if you really need to reign your CDing in.
I suspect it to be very much like quitting smoking. It can only really be done if you mind has really committed to it.

[Becky Blue]

I have never taken a conscious break but Becky has left me at times ... when she is gone she is totally gone. Lost her for almost 3 years in 2009. I don't believe that when she is here I can chase her away. But given my situation I often can't act on my urges to dress, the longer i ignore them the worse I get, over time I have learned to express my feminine self in other ways which helps me cope quite easily.

I feel that taking an enforced break will probably make things worse, as that is unlikely to clear the pink fog. Perhaps you could try and limit your activities and see if you can slow things down. Perhaps limit your time on here, limit dressing to less hours. Taking a break and having strong desires to dress will make your desires stronger.

[Yoshisaur]

I guess I'm just recently coming back from a hiatus, started really wanting to dress again in the past few weeks. It wasn't really a conscious decision to do it, more like I just got too busy and unmotivated with everything to do it.

[Tina_gm]

I'm on the fence about a hiatus being able to reduce the urge or desires. (Maybe?) A hiatus may be necessary in the big picture though.

If you are currently dealing with a lot of increase in desire yet life isn't being accommodating I would suggest rather than a full hiatus perhaps some modification. Keep "her" around in some small ways. Grow your nails a little, or some gender neutral jewelry. Or maybe fem jewelry. Under dressing if you normally do not. Maybe a pretty phone cover.

After a period of weeks or months, re evaluate your place gender wise if the fog has not lessened. During that time you can keep "her" around until it subsides or things become more clear as to where you are really at, or heading to.

[Connie.Marie]

Hey there Windshear,
I guess you could say that I'm just coming back from a hiatus. I was going out monthly with the gurls, spending hours most nights on-line... I realized that I was spending way too much time at this & I really became frightened at being found out.

So I just stopped! I deleted all the posts I could, removed my pics from this site, stayed away from ALL of it for 6 months, then made a bad decision and purged. Gave away all my stuff to Goodwill. Wrote it all up for taxes & realized that I had spent $1,700 thru the years. All of it down the drain. Ouch.

Then, a couple months after that I just HAD to do a little. Well we all know that a little becomes a little more & more & more. Now I'm collecting things again. Snagged my wife's bra that she was throwing away. I Have a new pair of forms, a couple skirts & tops. Bought 2 pair of shoes today. Still need a new wig, makeup, jewelry... Still need to re-post my pics here..

So after a year, my advice to you is...
Slow down if you want.
Quit if you want,
for however long you want,
but do yourself a favor - put it all away, but DON'T throw it all away !

Hugs, Connie Marie

[Maria Blackwood]

[sometimes_miss]

I've taken a hiatus a few times, the last being only a couple of years ago. I can suppress the desire to crossdress by spending frequent times with a woman, or, when no one to date is available, going to a gogo bar and paying for the time of a lapdancer to get the physical affection that I need, to avoid going into 'affection withdrawal', which would stress me out and allow the crossdressing thoughts to push their way into my consciousness. Either way, it's enough to actively suppress the desire to crossdress, for me at least. However, it can be expensive, and by that I mean emotionally (if I'm dating someone that doesn't know I'm a crossdresser and I want to continue seeing her, hopefully to find out more about if she might be someone who could accept my crossdressing) or financially (if i'm paying lapdancers to fill my affection needs).

[Joni T]

It's possible. Several years ago I put it all away for over two years.
Jon

[Tracii G]

Some people grow out of the need to post here or CD in general nothing abnormal about it.

[kimdl93]

I'm just returning from an 18 month hiatus. Not a happy one - a last ditch effort to save a marriage. Its a nice thought, but much as I wanted to believe that I could make this need disappear, it seems I cannot. the marriage is over, and I regret the pain I caused my x. At the same time I regret the pain I caused myself in pointless self hatred and denial.

[Wen4cd]

Kim that's terrible. I'm sorry for your and your marriage.

[kimdl93]

yeah, it was hard...but life goes on, right?

[Stephanie47]

Windshear, you can attempt to not wear women's clothing for any period of time. I don't know if you would be successful. But, to arbitrarily set a goal seems kind of iffy. I'd take it one day at a time. I would also find some activity related to cross dressing that would keep you in touch with your desires. You can always move the goal posts further away each day. What will happen if you do reach 30 days? Or if you reach ten days and you have become irritable to the extent of really affecting your relationship with your wife? Will you force yourself to make it to 30 days?

When I retired nine years ago my wife was still working full days whenever she wanted I had so much femme time. My wife took trips out of state for 7 to 10 days each year. Stephanie had plenty of time. But, last year until now medical reasons have forced my wife to not work at all. It's been 9+ months of inadequate time for self expression. I still enjoy checking in on this site. I still peruse and bid on eBay (Bought a slip tonight) and buy clothes on line even though at best I can only briefly try them on and then store them away.

It's all a matter of priorities and balance.

[Teresa]

Windshear,
The question often comes up, usually the answer is it's not a competition , do what you feel comfortable with.
I can't understand people trying to deny something that may have been in their heads when they were born. I still prefer to know why I dress because I wanted to know why I had the need 24/7, finding out what makes you tick makes you realise there's no point in suppressing it. Some CDers do find they have an ebb and flow, it's possibly harder to understand that rather than feel the need constantly like I do .
Inconsistent dressing doesn't give you chance to fine tune makeup and clothes, when I decided to go out, I had to bite the bullet and get checked out for foundation colour and how to apply makeup . If your' in a DADT situation shopping is a little harder but once you've become use to it putting outfits together starts to have a meaning and becomes enjoyable.
I don't think you will feel in control until you know you've found a balance and taking a hiatus isn't going to help, the urge will come back stronger so you'll find yourself in a see saw situation with your dressing.

[Jackie7]

I approach the question on a daily basis. Do I feel like dressing today, at home or for some event out, or not? And with my wife's help I've learned to pay attention to exactly how I feel that day. With the result that at times I dress every day, at other times I don't dress for weeks at a time, but always taking it a day at a time. It helps infinitely that I have a supportive partner, she has always been OK with however I feel today. Works for me.