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Thread: maybe I don't belong in this club

  1. #1
    Senior Member
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    maybe I don't belong in this club

    I guess this is meant for the other hetero/non transitioning/non gender dysphoric crossdressers out there...I read a lot of posts on here about the sensations of crossdressing..."it just feels so right"...."love the feeling of slipping on stockings or heels"...'the wind blowing up my skirt"....you get the picture.
    Now here's my question: i (obviously)like crossdressing as much as the next guy (gal), but, to me, it's just fun and satisfying.it doesn't necessarily 'complete me' although I have no inclination (or ability for that matter) to stop, but it's just kind of another thing that I do.It doesn't define me. Who is with me here? Who just enjoys crossdressing 'cause it's fun and it's just a personal quirk..nothing more,nothing less?

  2. #2
    Junior Member Alex's Avatar
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    There are some here that feel as you do.

    It is a really varied community and there are a lot of different thought processes and motivations. What we get out of it is different, too. There will be some people here like you, but most of them are different. I get varied perspectives coming here, but I think maybe only 1/4 (maybe less) are in situations that are similar to my own.

  3. #3
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    Audrey, you are what you are, none one belongs here more or less. I was like you from age 12 to 40 when things changed dramatically for me. If you find the forum helpful or simply fun of course you belong here, as much as I do or anyone else for that matter.
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  4. #4
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
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    I am just like you, Audrey.

  5. #5
    Silver Member Sarah Louise's Avatar
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    I think I'm not that disimilar to you. I don't feel like a girl when I dress but I love dressing up and looking like one. I do like the softer feel of the clothes though. In saying this, I did like the sensation of the cool wind on my hose-clad legs the other day, but I think that was just a reminder of what i was wearing.

    I feel I belong on this forum so I think you should to.
    A girl can never have too many dresses

  6. #6
    Member Tama's Avatar
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    Yea I too, relate to this topic...Thanks for bringing it up

  7. #7
    Junior Member LaurenNZ's Avatar
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    Puts hand up - I understand exactly what you are saying Audrey.

  8. #8
    Member Kiwi Primrose's Avatar
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    Thanks for your posting Audrey, I feel exactly the same. I don't need therapy or well-meaning help to assist me, I just love the look and feel of the feminine dress of my chosen era - the 1940s and 50s.

  9. #9
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    I think you kind of contradict yourself when you have no inclination (or ability for that matter) to stop. I can understand, if cross dressing is fun like many activities, then maybe you have no inclination to stop. However, if you have no ability to stop, does not suggest there is some other pull hindering your ability to stop? I've always have expressed my opinion there is a world of difference between the "why" question; "Why do I do what I do?" I cannot answer that question because I truly do not know. Oh, I have some unfounded conjectures, but, just conjecture. There is also the question "What do I get out of cross dressing?" Peace? Serenity? Relaxation? Why not seek those ends through other means?

  10. #10
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    Thats fine if you feel that way Audrey.
    You fit here as well as anyone else.

  11. #11
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    As with pretty much everything in life, it's all shades of grey - no black and white. This forum seems pretty useful and accepting for all shades of that spectrum. I am in a similar boat to you in that I know who I am and I'm not in any 'transition' but that doesn't mean I don't need help, support, cameraderie and inspiration Don't sweat it! (Although I DO love slipping on heels!)

  12. #12
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie47 View Post
    However, if you have no ability to stop, does not suggest there is some other pull hindering your ability to stop?
    We all have the ability to stop. The question becomes, how much mental discomfort are we willing to accept in order to do it?

    And very, very few here have any clue as to why they crossdress. I'm one of the lucky ones who figured it out, and it took me decades to do it.

    There is also the question "What do I get out of cross dressing?" Peace? Serenity? Relaxation? Why not seek those ends through other means?
    Because the other means to the ends may simply not be available often enough. I was able to stop crossdressing completely for many years when I was in stable relationships with women. Sure, the urge would come on now and then, if I saw a cute outfit that I would have liked to wear, but the feeling was only for a few moments, and then out of my consciousness. Later in life, I kept the crossdressing desires at bay by spending time with lapdancers, getting my need for physical affection (not sex) filled there. But it's outrageously expensive, so it's not for everyone.
    Reading all the stories online for the past oh, 25 years now, one thing that keeps coming up is that the urge to crossdress waxes and wanes for a lot of us, and in particular it's related to what else is going on in our lives. I have a hypothesis about this, that the desire is always there, but we keep it successfully repressed in our subconscious most of the time. Yet, when our minds become overwhelmed by other stressful events, we are unable to deal with all those problems as well as hold back the desire to crossdress at the same time, so it appears to come out of nowhere, almost monopolizing our conscious thoughts to the point where we have to do something about it; either go ahead and crossdress, or some other activity to keep our minds off of it. However, even if we temporarily use some other activity to actively suppress the desire to crossdress, if we are still under the stress of too many things going on in our lives, the desire to crossdress will come back with a vengeance, and we're back where we started.
    Last edited by sometimes_miss; 02-17-2017 at 04:37 AM.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member Lacey New's Avatar
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    Audrey,
    I think we all have our differences about what our crossdressing means to us.. Some are more "into it" than others on this site. and sometimes I have asked myself if I belong here as well. All fair observations and questions. But for whatever reason, we all share one thing in common and that is from time to time, we enjoy wearing various articles of women's clothing. And I think that is primarily the quality that makes us part of the crossdressing community. And this is a very welcoming, broad minded community so relax, welcome and enjoy.

  14. #14
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    I quit asking "why" years ago. I've learned to just enjoy the time I have to be feminine when the mood strikes.
    Welcome Audrey!
    Lace and Smiles,
    Lisa

  15. #15
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    Hi Audrey, The Diversity in this program is what makes it work for all of us......
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  16. #16
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Audrey, There are no rules about who is or how to crossdress. I do love the feel of stockings, etc., but I'm also a guy. Just flow with it.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  17. #17
    Senior Member JocelynJames's Avatar
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    I'm not sure where I am on this. Many times I feel exactly like you, Audrey. Sometimes I wonder about all the things everyone here write about. I've decided it will run its course and be what it will be. Right now it's that it feels good and my wife accepts me and that's all I want- right now.
    If you only knew the power of the pink fog! ~Joss

  18. #18
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Audrey, you belong as well as anyone else! There is great diversity in crossdressing and those who are part of it! I partially agree with you. Lana Mae is me but so is my male half and as with you crossdressing is something I do and enjoy. Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  19. #19
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    For me at this point it's just getting dressed. there's no sensual/sexual thrill to it. And I really don't think there ever was.

    When I do get "dolled up"(makeup,wig,blouse,skirt etc) and look it the mirror it's not to see a girl it's just to make sure I look ok.

    I'm "complete" whether naked or "dolled up". I am defined by WHO I am not WHAT I'm wearing.

  20. #20
    Junior Member MartineCD's Avatar
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    Hi Audrey

    I understand exactly where you are coming from. I am a hetero male husband and father with no gender dysphoria or need to transition. I feel no animosity to being male. If and when presented with the opportunity I 'prefer' to wear feminine clothing. It is no longer the compulsion it was when I first joined this site.

    I love this forum for the fact that all are welcome from those who only wish to wear panties or stockings to those who are fully transgender and the infinite variety between.

    To answer your final questions.

    Yes, I'm with you
    Yes, I enjoy it because it feels more comfortable (despite the high heels ;-p )

    Take care

    Martine x

  21. #21
    Member Tama's Avatar
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    I agree...I learn from all here, mostly about who or even what I am... It does help me to sort out many things I didn't have reference to before signing on here... I am grateful to all

  22. #22
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    The comments like slipping on hose and heels and wind blowing up my skirt are more your fetish dressers kind of lingo and I don't quite feel that way.
    I'm TG and clothes are clothes to me no fetish or sexual thrill and never has been.
    I feel I am in the wrong body gender wise so I deal with that by dressing to help me keep myself centered.
    People dress for different reasons and thats just the way it is.

  23. #23
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    I’m not looking to start an argument but if you wear women’s clothes you have gender issues, just accept it and move on. (Much easier said than done) Everyone is different, we may have similar likes and dislikes, still when you get to the bottom line you will find no two are completely the same. I have seen it describe as a linear spectrum here. (This is how I see it) With like closeted people at one end and fully transitioned at the other end.
    I’m pretty much full time with no plan on fully transitioning. I’m out and have roommates. So I find myself somewhere in the middle.
    I have been off this site for a while. I’m back why? Lots of reasons. Yes I have to agree that much of what is discussed here is the same, but you can make a difference by starting a thread as you have done here.
    Finally there is no right or wrong way to do this. Everyone’s situation is different. So your experiences may be the same but will still be different as they are unique to you. This is a place you can share your experiences and ideas.

  24. #24
    Member Tama's Avatar
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    I agree with you on that as well...I am not clear on the sexual fetish thing...hasn't been a thrill-ride for me that's for sure!

  25. #25
    Aspiring Member KimberlyJean's Avatar
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    Audrey, there is no club, we are all travelers on a similar journey. How we get there and where we end up is different for most of us but if there is someone out there I can chat with on the way that makes it so much better.

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