I understand, but there are other forum/chat sites that aren't my exact cup of tea either. I don't fit in with all the "how do I tell my wife" threads. I've been divorced and single for 14 years now. Maybe at least you've learned what other CDs are going through. Doesn't mean you have to go down the same road.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
Audrey, I doubt that you are in the minority on this one. Like you, at the end of the day I'm a happily married heterosexual male. Some days I just happen to be in a dress and I'm good with that. In looking at the thread listing a lot of the topics deal with others who are still looking for where they settle in the spectrum. It also looks like many don't fall under the dressing category. Nothing about sexual preference or gender identity interests me. Combined with the volume of threads of going out and/or "passing" I too feel uneasy. Still I keep coming back. Mostly because I've seen so many replies to topics just like this that made me realize that there is a silent majority who feel similar.
Audrey, I believe there r statistically more here like u than there r TS's. When I first arrived here I came to expect it was only a matter of time until my "fem side" showed herself!
After 5 years I gave up waiting for her to appear!
I don't believe most of us have a "woman inside". Just don't refer to what we do as a "hobby", tho! U could get slapped around----
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
You are not alone. There are a lot of us here that are crossdressers only. No plans to fully transition. It is fun and relaxing. It is part of me that is not going away.
Crossdressing doesn't define me any more than anything else does. Crossdressing is a part of me, but there are many parts. I feel no need to transition, nor to live full time as a nontransitioned woman. I love crossdressing and appearing as the woman I would have been had I been born a woman. I feel affirmed when I have breasts, butt and hips and I love the feeling. Affirmed, yes...completed, no. I think I may be like you, but the spectrum is so broad, I may be further along than you. I hope this all made sense...Originally Posted by audreyinalbany
Please call me Lisa!
I think that crossdressing is like so many other things in life, in that each person has their own experience. That experience for each also has different degrees of depth and frequency . This "club" as you describe is full of so many that like to wear feminine things ,thats the common shared thing. Beyond that there probably are no standards , no timelines and not that many hard definitions.
there is a range of something like "0 to 60" of how much a guy would want to dress in women's clothing .
I have described this to friends who don't get crossdressing to imagine that it can sometimes it can be like Playing golf ,
I played golf two or three times in my life .I really enjoyed it , but never played again . Some people never play golf , or if they ever do play it they might not really like it . On the other hand , Some people might play golf that first time and then they are hooked forever , they can never get enough of playing golf. So much so that they will spend tons of time and money to keep playing . So which of these folks can call themselves a golfer?
Haha..slapped for a hobby...sounds really painful actually..
I'd imagine there are plenty O' hobbies that may well get one slapped but, not on these forums shall I begin a thread...no Sir/Ma'am!
Lisa, you summed me up in one paragraph. Well said and well written. Just based on this post of yours, I can tell you and I have a lot in common!
Sincerely Scarlett
I too can agree with your feelings. Mine at times take on a whole ambrosia of emotions,feelings and sensations. At this point in life I just accept them.
Audrey if you cross dress for what ever reason you belong. You are one of us. We come in many shades and intensities and drives but we all cross dress to some degree. Some members are 24/7 dressers while some are happy to just wear panties around the house when no one is around. Do your thing. You are welcome here. Ask your questions as you think of them.
Leslie Mary Shy
Remember this:
You do not have to be a man to love a woman, or be a woman to love women's clothes on her or yourself.
_________________________
This site is a broad church and people join for a wide variety of reasons. If you like to dress as a woman you belong here, its just that your feelings about cross dressing are a subset of the many reasons for joining. This is certainly not an homogenous group of people and for me that is one of its strenghts.
Yeah Audrey, I'm pretty much like you. At my pink foggiest about 2.5 years ago it seemed all consuming and to a degree it caused me to redefine myself, but now it's slipped back into a less prominent place in my life. But if I were to become single again I think it would become far more central and important.
I used to have a short attention spa
It is fun for me, I do enjoy the process and the acceptance I get while out. I feel no different in terms of who and what I am dressed or in my regular every day attire. It simply makes me happy. I've discussed it with many people, don't know why I do it, but do know when I do, I am happy. Like many others, I don't feel complete, relaxed, etc., just damn happy. That is probably the fundamental difference between being a crossdresser and transgendered.
Visit Kandi's Land (http://www.kandis-land.com/) daily! Nothing but positive and uplifting posts!
Pictures and stories of every time out: https://www.flickr.com/photos/131254150@N06/.
I have to say, that's very profound!
Audrey,
I can see you've been here for a while but your profile doesn't show your age. Your comments sound like a younger person talking, many here find the deeper meanings to CDing start to hit harder as we get older. I was married for twenty years before I told my wife , at that point I began to think more about it because I had to explain it to myself before I could attempt to explain it to my wife. The forum finally made me realise most of us are born like it and it's for life.
Twenty years on I've really had to think hard how I'm going to deal with this and try and plan for the future. I need to dress more not less , whatever is driving it isn't going away.
Yes there is a fun element but that comes at a price when you're in a DADT situation, I know I'm not going to stop either but I also can't say where it's going to lead me.
Hello Audrey. To each is own. This forum is great in all respects. It allows each of US to express our feelings in our own independent and accepting way. It doesn't matter what level you dress or what your motivations are. It takes many individuals to make up a society. There is no reason to stop using the forum. WE all need to stick together and continue to talk to each other or WE will surely go nuts. All this from one of those big nasty conservatives. Yes even we are a very caring and accepting group!!
im kind of in the same boat as you audrey, it's not a life defining thing for me it's a just thing i have always done since childhood. I like the feeling of the clothes and looking in the mirror or the enjoyment of going out dressed. but do i feel complete when i do it? no but i suppose it has become a part of my identity just like the other things in my life as i have been doing it for most of my life more or less.
You are in the same club as me. It is fun and a bit challenging.
I am glad that someone finally brought this subject up, as at times I have felt uneasy by the way some threads have developed.
However, CDing and what drives people is so broad it has become somewhat educational using this site. So, anyone this way inclined can only benefit in my opinion from using this site.
What we are today may well be what we are in the future, but bare in mind that things may well change. You may well find that in later life you lose some of the joy of crossdressing, or you may find that you go from enjoying dressing to needing to dress.
Also if I may a quick comment to those people who say I am a male, ..., heterosexual, etc... please understand that sexuality really has nothing to do with it. It is as relevant as saying I am a male, with brown hair...
A.K.A Rebecca & Bec
I agree with you Cding is just part of me I never refer to myself when I am dressed as that being my true self. My true self is made up of many parts that hopefully fit together well most of the time. I am a male I enjoy cross dressing, sports, father hood, my wife and many other things that make me whole. It is all part of me, love, life and living
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee
Sorry for bring up and old thread. Is it old when it has only been 6 weeks since the last post?
I also believe everyone here is different. I joined this forum about 5 months ago looking to see how I fit in and if any others here are like me. I seems like I am a small minority here. It could be that it looks that way as a majority of the threads always get comments from the same group of 15-20 girls. Also most threads are fears about being outed, either in public or in private, or tips on passing as a female.
I find it hard define exactly what is a crossdresser. At first, a crossdresser was to me, a man that wore women's clothes. Then crossdressing expanding to men wearing women's clothes and looking like or trying to pass as a woman. Which to me is no longer just crossdressing, because of the wigs, make-up, forms, etc... It goes on and on, but that's for others.
Myself, I enjoy wearing women's clothes, shoes, hose, and underwear. Does that make me a crossdresser? Hell yes! Since January I have gone out many times dressed like this (man mode wearing skirts, heels, etc.) and have not had any bad experiences. In fact, they have all been very pleasant. I have also gone out being in full feminine mode (wig, make-up, breast forms, hip and butt pads) and again have not had any bad experiences. Is this still considered crossdressing? I think of it as being more than just crossdressing, having the forms, both breast and butt, are not what most women wear. As we are trying to pass as a different sex. I am much more uncomfortable when in this mode than in the man dressed mode.
I have a very understanding wife. She supports my CDing. Most of the time when I try to present as a woman, it's when we go out together, which is now almost every weekend. She is more comfortable being with me in that mode versus me in man dressed mode. Yes, we still go out with me in full man mode.
Am I a small minority here? I think so. Could it be because of my SO's support. Could it be because I prefer to go out without wig and make-up? Or, I have no fear?
I was told I have balls for wearing skirts! My reply? "That's because balls this big won't fit in pants!"
Count Me In, that describes me to a "T"!
I can understand where you are coming from, although I for one am certainly not in your position.
Truth is that awfully few crossdressers actually figure out why they crossdress, and it's certainly inaccurate to attempt to impute any particular motivations to anyone. I'm even less sure if this is but a waypoint - my observation is that a few have passed through this forum and ended up transitioning, others have accepted their conduct (and implicitly the mental element behind it), and still others are attempting to reconcile the implications of their conduct.
I am pretty much in the same place. I enjoy dressing, love the feelings it brings, but it does not define who I am.
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