Running, Language and Cding

[Meghan4now]

So this morning, on my after run walk down, I lost track of how many laps I had done around the cul-du-sac. A thought had occurred to me as to how this was relevant to CDing. Do you ever get to that autopilot stage? And that autopilot stage is really important. In learning a new Language, you don't get to fluency until you start thinking in that language.

I think we have the same thing going on for CDS and possibly TS (although there is a huge amount more, it's like changing culture and citizenship to boot?) Is the "passability" (yes, yes, I know. no one passes and you shouldn't care) factor of being comfortable as you present and the general acceptance in public is greatly affected by this? That naturalness can be detected, as can a nervousness. By getting to the point that comportment, presentation and what not becomes second nature, I would imagine that a general blending in would be easier.

Just an odd thought induced by running in a dark drizzly morning.

Your thoughts?

[AndreaS]

I would agree with you just based on my own personal experiences. As I get more comfortable going out in public, it does seem like I blend in more. Once you act and feel like you belong, it goes a long way towards actually helping you to become just a part of the crowd (at least in my opinion).

[Rachael Leigh]

While I agree to a point based on my own experience of going out, yes I am more comfortable and yes a lot of being out has become second nature but I know being 6'2 I still stand out a bit but it's ok I enjoy presenting myself in public and as I've said more then once here if for no other reason then to show others we are just people and not someone to fear

[Tracii G]

I wonder what the deep seated meaning is behind your observation Meghan.

[michelleddg]

Ya know, not really. During my recent 19 day bender I never really "lost consciousness". Had this discussion with a training partner the other day. He asked if you ever get so lost in thought that you're a mile down the road before you realize it. Again, not really. Doesn’t bother me, I think it's just how I'm wired. Hugs, Michelle

[Pat]

I can see it. It might be self-acceptance or maybe it's just self-resignation but when you get to the point where you don't think about yourself but just about the task at hand, you basically start thinking you belong wherever you are and people sense that. If you have no question that you're in the right place and doing the right thing, most people just go along with it. Or at least that's how it works for me.

[Diane Taylor]

I think that being confident and comfortable helps us a lot when we go out in public. If you just carry on in a natural manner you'll certainly draw less attention to yourself.

[GretchenM]

I think it is all an adaptation process. We start out going all over the place, but as time goes on and we find out more about what is involved in lving this way we find a part of a complex of different spectra where we are comfortable with who we are. Eventually we become that person more fully as we incorporate more and more into an overall pattern that trial and error tells us works at this time. In fact, though, I don't think this process ever reaches an end point; it is just a constant tweaking as we are faced with new combinations where things do not seem very aligned. So, we find a way to align them into a functional combination. I don't think life, no matter who you are, ever achieves a steady state. It is all a process of adjustment and adaptation and finding blends that fit and work well. That may be the "auto pilot" state you are referring to. I know a couple of TS's who transitioned over 40 years ago. You would be hard pressed to figure out they have a Y chromosome. They weren't always that way, but through adaptation they became that way.

[Lydianne]

In terms of "autopilot", there is an idea that 10000 hours of practise makes one become an 'expert'. I don't know how many of us will log 10000 hours of going out dressed, but repetition is progress in that direction.

It has been a long time since I learnt this; so it might be somewhat foggy in my mind, but when something gets done repeatedly where the same stimuli trigger the same sensory signals which get processed in the brain and lead to the same motor signals being generated for the same reactions, new neural pathways get developed over time which bypass a lot of the cognitive process ( but not to the extent of a reflex ). Overall, it makes the action quicker, more consistent and more dependable.

[EDIT] ..."autonomous". That's the word I was looking for .[/EDIT]

The phenomenon we know as 'muscle memory' is a sort of example of this. It only gets broken when one consciously forces it, or when something unexpected happens, or if the the action being done stops for a considerable amount of time.

- "How do you do that?!??"
- "I dunno; I just do.."

[Stacy Darling]

This has been a priceless read for me and as usual I'm probably not on the right track. But, I'm a 6' white blonde fluent in an southern Chinese dialect (sort of Szechuan ) and after each initial shock, I'm accepted quite well in that community and am very comfortable there.
And I don't even look Chinese!

So I'll go with the natural blending Thought!

Thanks for this thread, I needed this to remind me of what I really can do!

[sometimes brooke]

Yes, I agree with those who say simply relax and go about your business, if you can, I have found that you soon blend in with the landscape and just become part of your surroundings.

I know that those first times out it is virtually impossible to do this, but it does become easier after a few outings and interactions. Things slow down and your thoughts stop racing and you move away from the edge of mild panic at the idea of what everybody is thinking about you.

Most likely they aren't thinking anything, but even if they are, what does it matter? I've never been confronted by anyone, and the few who did ask about me were very polite and sincerely wanted to be respectful.

Small shops in the artsy districts are very good places to start. You can make an entrance, greet the person there, browse a bit, engage in some conversation if you like, and make your exit if you begin to feel uncomfortable. You can then walk for a bit to calm down if you need to, and then go into another shop and try it again. Each time becomes easier and more natural as you see that nothing "bad" is going to happen.

Eventually you will get to the point where you do simply function naturally and without thinking about it.

There's immense satisfaction when you look back at the end of the day after an outing and say, "I did that! That was me, and it was wonderful!"

Brooke