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Thread: "Poof!" You have become a real woman now. So, what comes next!?

  1. #1
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Question "Poof!" You have become a real woman now. So, what comes next!?

    Many of us spend a lot of time, energy, and $$ trying to look, feel, or actually transform into a female.

    Let's say u accomplish that goal. Thru hormones, magic, or surgery u finally look and feel like a totally passable female. No more hiding, sneaking, dreaming, imagining or striving. U can go anywhere, do anything a woman could do. Have u thot about what u would do next? Or, with the rest of your life?

    I stopped thinking about becoming a woman years ago. And, am satisfied looking like a one in my mirror.

    But, that isn't what most of u want, is it? Many of u want to live like women. Have u thot about what u mite enjoy doing most if u were a completely passable female?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  2. #2
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    Sherry a very thought provoking question because I would think at least half here would never have really thought about it.
    Honestly I have not, but since you asked. I would just live my life as I have but maybe enjoy it more, I would not have the
    guilt of enjoying shopping for clothes or buying more shoes and makeup because it would just be normal and expected.
    I might even learn how to cook or even sew, something I've never been good at or thought much about and yes I know men do those things now but I've always considered them fem activities

  3. #3
    Member Ashley090's Avatar
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    Nothing would happen. I would just continue my life, do same stuff as I do now and so on. Everything same, just from "The Other side".

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    Well, it wasn't a *poof* - it has taken three and a half years. So perhaps I could offer some perspectives from my own life?

    Stuff that's the same about my life:
    - my job
    - sense of humor
    - I still hate shopping
    - my taste in music didn't change much

    Stuff that's different about my life:
    - I'm accepted as a woman everywhere - because - I'm a woman (legally, socially, on the job, medically). I pass really well.
    - I've had more relationships since starting transition than I had during my entire life before transition
    - I married a wonderful man - nobody saw that coming!
    - I'm a domme. (Never saw that coming either!)
    - I'm an activist. I put a lot of time in my support group that offers help for trans people and their spouses, significant others, and family members. I've been in the paper, on TV. I don't try to hide being trans - I'm out. The idea of any of this terrified me before.
    - I've helped many through their transitions. Not boasting, but I've helped save a few lives. Had some losses here too. It's hard, the hardest thing I've ever done.
    - In general, the thing I enjoy most is that I am able to be genuine with people, for the most part. I'm far more so than I was EVER able to be before, so I just enjoy being around people more, talking to them, etc.
    - I've picked up new hobbies. I am trying to re-engage with my old amateur astronomy hobby, we'll see how that goes.
    - I am a lot more open to love now, than I used to be.
    - I love makeup, I love wearing dresses. I don't always wear makeup, sometimes time doesn't allow for that.

    Stuff I lost:
    - my marriage and home
    - most of my friends
    - in a lot of ways, most of my past
    - my professional colleagues. Mostly gone. I have the same job. I've been there 17 years now. I may as well have started there 3 years ago.
    - male privilege. Guys talk over me all the time. It isn't safe for me to be out at night alone - I'm always afraid. If I want to look good - it's a lot more effort than it is fora guy. If I talk too much (meaning 20% less than I used to talk), I'm considered to be kind of a bitch. The list of this stuff goes on.
    - Cis privilege. Finding a medical doctor who will treat me and treat me with respect is HARD. Knowing that much of humanity doesn't consider me to be a human being is demoralizing. Seeing politicians in my state try to pass laws to outlaw my presence in public is hard. Having to deal with all the suicide attempts from others in my community. I've talked down so many people from the ledge that I've lost track of them.

    Stuff that surprises me:
    - I pass far, far, far better than I ever imagined. I know what I am, but at this point, I don't really feel trans. I feel very little gender dysphoria.
    - I found my situation isn't so different from other women. Sure, there are some pretty unique details about my life. On the other hand, though, I had dinner with some women none of whom could have children. Our experiences weren't so different in some ways.
    - I never realized that I'd have to keep coming out as trans over and over and over again. I'd never imagined that being "out" would be this much work. I'm very fortunate.

    I could probably go on, but this is enough. I'd never have believed my life could be as good or as fulfilling as it is. Sure, there are a lot of challenges. It's hard living in Texas, watching what happens to people I know, even if most of the bad stuff, so far, has passed me by. I use all that privilege to engage with the community here, and to try to help others. I guess helping others is the main focus of my life. My job used to be. Now? It's my job. I love it, and I'm lucky to have it. But my real passion is helping others.

    Oh, since I probably didn't say many things that a lot of you might identify with, I will say that flirting with people (men, women, I don't care - I flirt with everyone) is a blast.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ashley090
    Nothing would happen. I would just continue my life, do same stuff as I do now and so on. Everything same, just from "The Other side".
    Everything changes hon. My old life feels like it wasn't even real.
    Last edited by PaulaQ; 02-24-2017 at 12:42 AM.

  5. #5
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Wow! I'm speechless, Paula. U r amazing!

    Thank u for being here for us and turning my silly fantasy thread into an honest, dramatic lesson in reality.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  6. #6
    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
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    I've spent 60+ years as a male. If it was a gradual transition I think I could handle the changes as they happened. If it was a "poof" instant change, I don't really i could cope with all the changes at once. I think I enjoy being able to express both sides of me.

  7. #7
    Member Lux's Avatar
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    I'm with Doc and absolutely thank Paula for the reality check of becoming female that is often not seen through the pink fog many of us spend time in!

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    @Doc & Lux - thanks. I try to be honest here. I thought I was giving you a sales pitch!

    Quote Originally Posted by Nikki A. View Post
    If it was a gradual transition I think I could handle the changes as they happened. If it was a "poof" instant change, I don't really i could cope with all the changes at once.
    Nikki - this is exactly why transition is a gradual process. Physical things take time. But the emotional and mental changes also take a lot of time. I found that the main part of my mental changes involved unlearning behavior that I used to hide who I really was. I didn't learn how to be a woman - I unlearned how to pretend to be a man.

    There are some things that a lot of you would identify with that I find fun:
    - I enjoy being really feminine
    - It's fun to buy lingerie. I don't wear it a lot because it isn't really very practical, and my husband isn't *that* excited by it. But it's fun to spice things up from time to time with it.
    - I do enjoy getting my hair and my nails done I keep them up all the time

    One thing I didn't mention before, and the part that is a surprise to many of us is that in many respects, at least in my experience, being a woman is a lot about time management. You have a bunch of things you do because they are expected of you, and very little tolerance for the fact that you are just doing WAY more than most dudes who lead much the same life as you. Some of this is because I'm a femme - but some of it is just part and parcel of being a woman.

    I love being able to live as who I really am - a woman. I mention the downsides not to dissuade anyone. My transition has certainly been worth it to me, it saved my life. And it made the life it saved worth living. At the end of the day, you are who you are, and downside or not, you don't really have a lot of choice but to be yourself.

  9. #9
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    Sherry,
    I had it all planned, if my separation had happened . I would have to move away , I'm sure that goes without saying, my plan was to dress full time and possibly to take a teaching course so I could run a painting group . I realise I wouldn't be a totally passable female , it could never happen but I would be the person I wish to be seen as and be accepted in the role I chose . Living with a mirror image isn't living a real life , that's what my goal was to do the two things in my life I enjoy most .

  10. #10
    Member Ashley090's Avatar
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    Thanks Paula for sharing! One of hell experience you got there
    More to my statement, if we talk about a fantasy magic change aka "poof" then it ll be as I said -> still me just opposite role. But ofc if we talk about real life transition, well that is way different story. I am well aware that such a thing comes with many obstacles and issues that needs to be resolved. I spend lots of time thinking about it and so far I can tell it is like starting completly new. Throwing old life out of window and start from 0. That how i imagine myself going trought transition (which 99% ll never happen btw). I could not do same work. I cant even bare thought of working with same ppl as "before". You have all my respect of you able to do it. Go and look in those ppl eyes, just wau And any ts or person who goes trought transition have all my respect for doing it.
    To make it more clear then, my "real life poof" would be going to another side of country, leaving everything old behind and starting completly again from begin somewhere else, with new ppl, new place, new job, new me. But right now I am living alone in this world, confused and not knowing who realy I am and no person talk to about it.
    Damn, sorry. I am babbling again. Move oooooon

  11. #11
    Pirate Queen wannabe Maria Blackwood's Avatar
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    Oh, so much sex.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    Just simply live life. Oh isn’t that what I’m doing. This is who I am and if you don’t like it I don’t care. Or maybe I should just say you tell them Sherry. I was at Karaoke last night and this girl tells me I have a beautiful voice. I told my roommate and he said “what was she smoking”, He is like a lead singer, just a bit critical. Yes get out live life today not tomorrow.

  13. #13
    The Anima Corrupt Wen4cd's Avatar
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    I second the sex thing.
    And so we go, on with our lives...
    We know the Truth, but prefer Lies.
    Lies are simple, simple is Bliss.
    Why go against tradition, when we can admit defeat,
    Live in Decline, be the victim of our own design?

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member KimberlyJean's Avatar
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    Hopefully my clothes still fit, then I would really like my life to proceed as it has been, only I get to be a woman. I believe that my life would have taken a similar path to what it has if I had been born the right way.

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    PaulaQ
    Thanks for posting your eye opening experiences with the group. Your story is soo interesting. If you were to write a book I'd wait in line to buy it : )

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    A good question and I think that PaulaQ's reply is an excellent one. I remember the terrible difficulties she had before and during transition and reading her reply made me want to cheer.

  17. #17
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    Wow PaulaQ you really summed up a lot and well since you have actulky experienced the real thing it really puts it in
    perspective.
    Thank you for all you do in the community as well I've been in here long enough to know it's not been easy for you
    Keep up the good work
    Rachael Leigh

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member ronda's Avatar
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    Thank you Paula for your open and honest story of what it takes to do what you have done and I am glad that you are so very happy with your life now.
    I do understand how hard it is helping others but at the same time can be so rewarding it is what life is about thank you again
    hugs
    Ronda

  19. #19
    Pirate Queen wannabe Maria Blackwood's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wen4cd View Post
    I second the sex thing.
    Can we get a third? ;-)

    Sorry. Just feeling naughty after a long week.

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    I'd like to join the Thanks Paula chorus. That's great stuff to hear and I'm glad you can share it here. I think many of us forget that being a girl still has some very real downsides in our world.

    As for the "poof" if you offered me the chance to be all girl I don't think I'd take it.

    Now if you offered me a control dial with Brad Pitt on one end and Scarlett Johansson on the other I'd wear that sucker out. I doubt I'd ever stay on one end much longer than a few days and many days I'd be switching several times a day.

  21. #21
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    "Motion carried, Maria!"
    Quote Originally Posted by Maria Blackwood View Post
    Can we get a third? ;-)
    Sorry. Just feeling naughty after a long week.
    Altho, my sex life with/as Sherry is already quit amazing. It requires erections for participation. Women don't seem to have that issue!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  22. #22
    Member Kellitgdet's Avatar
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    Thank you all for sharing, I love this community. Since joining I feel a little better about myself. And it has everything to do with knowing I am not alone. While we are all at different places of acceptance with others and ourselves, it's learning knowing that what we are all about is difficult to understand and even more difficult to explain.
    Love you all, Kelli

  23. #23
    The Anima Corrupt Wen4cd's Avatar
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    I hear that for a woman, sex can be 'fulfilling.' I would have liked to experience that fulfillment. To be the vessel, to have an emptiness inside filled. It sounds unlike anything I will ever experience, non-spiritually.
    And so we go, on with our lives...
    We know the Truth, but prefer Lies.
    Lies are simple, simple is Bliss.
    Why go against tradition, when we can admit defeat,
    Live in Decline, be the victim of our own design?

  24. #24
    Senior Member Ceera's Avatar
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    I'd have to assume that if I became a 'totally passable female', my body proportions would change enough that new clothes or alterations to my current clothes would immediately be necessary. Next would be to update my legal name and identity documents to match my new reality. Then? Well, I would probably get a new job, starting with that employer as a woman. I am unemployed now, so that would not be too disruptive. The hardest part would be validating my past work experience as still belonging to the new me. Or starting over without claiming that past experience.

    I currently can pass pretty well, but suddenly being able to pass totally, even in sexual situations, would boost my confidence immensely when it comes to seeking a new relationship. I would be seeking a new partner for dating quite soon. Hopefully a long-term relationship.

    As Paula said, I would become more of an activist for LGBTQ rights, and for helping others along this path. My life is already heading that direction.

    I am already in the process of establishing new friends and social contacts for my female identity, including introducing some old friends to the 'new me'. Suddenly being fully female might actually make it easier to come out to the few family members and old friends I would care to remain in contact with. The questions of 'why would you', and 'are you sure you want to' would become moot.

  25. #25
    Member ReallyLauren's Avatar
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    This has really turned into one of the most thought provoking threads I have seen here. Paula also helps to highlight the true courage that trans people exhibit.

    Lauren

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