"Poof!" You have become a real woman now. So, what comes next!?

[docrobbysherry]

Many of us spend a lot of time, energy, and $$ trying to look, feel, or actually transform into a female.

Let's say u accomplish that goal. Thru hormones, magic, or surgery u finally look and feel like a totally passable female. No more hiding, sneaking, dreaming, imagining or striving. U can go anywhere, do anything a woman could do. Have u thot about what u would do next? Or, with the rest of your life?

I stopped thinking about becoming a woman years ago. And, am satisfied looking like a one in my mirror.

But, that isn't what most of u want, is it? Many of u want to live like women. Have u thot about what u mite enjoy doing most if u were a completely passable female?

[Rachael Leigh]

Sherry a very thought provoking question because I would think at least half here would never have really thought about it.
Honestly I have not, but since you asked. I would just live my life as I have but maybe enjoy it more, I would not have the
guilt of enjoying shopping for clothes or buying more shoes and makeup because it would just be normal and expected.
I might even learn how to cook or even sew, something I've never been good at or thought much about and yes I know men do those things now but I've always considered them fem activities

[Ashley090]

Nothing would happen. I would just continue my life, do same stuff as I do now and so on. Everything same, just from "The Other side".

[PaulaQ]

Well, it wasn't a *poof* - it has taken three and a half years. So perhaps I could offer some perspectives from my own life?

Stuff that's the same about my life:
- my job
- sense of humor
- I still hate shopping
- my taste in music didn't change much

Stuff that's different about my life:
- I'm accepted as a woman everywhere - because - I'm a woman (legally, socially, on the job, medically). I pass really well.
- I've had more relationships since starting transition than I had during my entire life before transition
- I married a wonderful man - nobody saw that coming!
- I'm a domme. (Never saw that coming either!)
- I'm an activist. I put a lot of time in my support group that offers help for trans people and their spouses, significant others, and family members. I've been in the paper, on TV. I don't try to hide being trans - I'm out. The idea of any of this terrified me before.
- I've helped many through their transitions. Not boasting, but I've helped save a few lives. Had some losses here too. It's hard, the hardest thing I've ever done.
- In general, the thing I enjoy most is that I am able to be genuine with people, for the most part. I'm far more so than I was EVER able to be before, so I just enjoy being around people more, talking to them, etc.
- I've picked up new hobbies. I am trying to re-engage with my old amateur astronomy hobby, we'll see how that goes.
- I am a lot more open to love now, than I used to be.
- I love makeup, I love wearing dresses. I don't always wear makeup, sometimes time doesn't allow for that.

Stuff I lost:
- my marriage and home
- most of my friends
- in a lot of ways, most of my past
- my professional colleagues. Mostly gone. I have the same job. I've been there 17 years now. I may as well have started there 3 years ago.
- male privilege. Guys talk over me all the time. It isn't safe for me to be out at night alone - I'm always afraid. If I want to look good - it's a lot more effort than it is fora guy. If I talk too much (meaning 20% less than I used to talk), I'm considered to be kind of a bitch. The list of this stuff goes on.
- Cis privilege. Finding a medical doctor who will treat me and treat me with respect is HARD. Knowing that much of humanity doesn't consider me to be a human being is demoralizing. Seeing politicians in my state try to pass laws to outlaw my presence in public is hard. Having to deal with all the suicide attempts from others in my community. I've talked down so many people from the ledge that I've lost track of them.

Stuff that surprises me:
- I pass far, far, far better than I ever imagined. I know what I am, but at this point, I don't really feel trans. I feel very little gender dysphoria.
- I found my situation isn't so different from other women. Sure, there are some pretty unique details about my life. On the other hand, though, I had dinner with some women none of whom could have children. Our experiences weren't so different in some ways.
- I never realized that I'd have to keep coming out as trans over and over and over again. I'd never imagined that being "out" would be this much work. I'm very fortunate.

I could probably go on, but this is enough. I'd never have believed my life could be as good or as fulfilling as it is. Sure, there are a lot of challenges. It's hard living in Texas, watching what happens to people I know, even if most of the bad stuff, so far, has passed me by. I use all that privilege to engage with the community here, and to try to help others. I guess helping others is the main focus of my life. My job used to be. Now? It's my job. I love it, and I'm lucky to have it. But my real passion is helping others.

Oh, since I probably didn't say many things that a lot of you might identify with, I will say that flirting with people (men, women, I don't care - I flirt with everyone) is a blast.

Nothing would happen. I would just continue my life, do same stuff as I do now and so on. Everything same, just from "The Other side".

Everything changes hon. My old life feels like it wasn't even real.

[docrobbysherry]

Wow! I'm speechless, Paula. U r amazing!

Thank u for being here for us and turning my silly fantasy thread into an honest, dramatic lesson in reality.

[Nikki A.]

I've spent 60+ years as a male. If it was a gradual transition I think I could handle the changes as they happened. If it was a "poof" instant change, I don't really i could cope with all the changes at once. I think I enjoy being able to express both sides of me.

[Lux]

I'm with Doc and absolutely thank Paula for the reality check of becoming female that is often not seen through the pink fog many of us spend time in!

[PaulaQ]

@Doc & Lux - thanks. I try to be honest here. I thought I was giving you a sales pitch!

If it was a gradual transition I think I could handle the changes as they happened. If it was a "poof" instant change, I don't really i could cope with all the changes at once.

Nikki - this is exactly why transition is a gradual process. Physical things take time. But the emotional and mental changes also take a lot of time. I found that the main part of my mental changes involved unlearning behavior that I used to hide who I really was. I didn't learn how to be a woman - I unlearned how to pretend to be a man.

There are some things that a lot of you would identify with that I find fun:
- I enjoy being really feminine
- It's fun to buy lingerie. I don't wear it a lot because it isn't really very practical, and my husband isn't *that* excited by it. But it's fun to spice things up from time to time with it.
- I do enjoy getting my hair and my nails done I keep them up all the time

One thing I didn't mention before, and the part that is a surprise to many of us is that in many respects, at least in my experience, being a woman is a lot about time management. You have a bunch of things you do because they are expected of you, and very little tolerance for the fact that you are just doing WAY more than most dudes who lead much the same life as you. Some of this is because I'm a femme - but some of it is just part and parcel of being a woman.

I love being able to live as who I really am - a woman. I mention the downsides not to dissuade anyone. My transition has certainly been worth it to me, it saved my life. And it made the life it saved worth living. At the end of the day, you are who you are, and downside or not, you don't really have a lot of choice but to be yourself.

[JaytoJillian]

Wow! I'm speechless, Paula. U r amazing!

Thank u for being here for us and turning my silly fantasy thread into an honest, dramatic lesson in reality.

Amen! What a brutally honest reality check. Thank you!

[Jenny22]

What an amazing story, Paula! You still have 'balls' for what you are doing for our community! Keep up the great work, sister! Bless you! Big hugs!

QUOTE=PaulaQ;4067935]Well, it wasn't a *poof* - it has taken three and a half years. So perhaps I could offer some perspectives from my own life?

[Meghan4now]

First off, who you calling "poof" Sheri?.
Second sounds like Miss Blackwood is looking for a spanking! So naughty.
Third, since all reality has left the world, and I'm now magically a girl, I go on tour as Pink!

Seriously, love you much Paula, but you know that already! As for Meghan, life would have similar qualities, figuring out the day to day. But maybe I wouldn't need to spend time on a crossdressing forum, and focus my attentions elsewhere. So much depends on my close personal relationships. Way too many variables to really know.

[Maria Blackwood]

Oh, I got more than spankings back in my scene days. The domina I subbed to had a love of bull whips.

[docrobbysherry]

"Poof" and I am a woman. I would spend my time trying to change back.

I'll make sure it won't happen to u, I promise, Georgina!

Take all the time I've been spending on therapy and medical appointments and put it into my job. Take the money I've been saving for facial feminization surgery and 1) make a down payment on a vacation condo in Palm Springs; 2) spend the rest on a vintage Saab convertible. Get a trailer and go glamping.

I was hoping for something more glamorous than I Saab and trailer, Carly--

Boom. Continue living the rest od my life, but do it as a happy, functional individual.

So, living happily ever after is your dream, Sibby? U must of seen a lot of the same '50's movies I grew up watching---

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Third, since all reality has left the world, and I'm now magically a girl, I go on tour as Pink!
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Thank u, Megan. I lot better answer than "changing your name and drivers license photo"! I mean, why not marry Brad Pitt, become a TV newswoman, or nude model and porn star? It's just a dream for most of us anyway!

[IleneD]

Poof?! I'm a woman?

I'm getting laid. That stuff is going out for a test flight.

[Suzanne F]

Well what a thread. Let's see it wasn't really poof but I wake up in a different body now. But I have to tell you that being a woman really has nothing to do with my new body or my new wardrobe. I finally am able to be with other women the way I always felt like inside. There is no division now or herding into groups with other men. This doesn't mean I don't interact with men, it just isn't hoisted on me constantly. I value my relationships more now because they feel real. I am not an actor anymore, just another woman struggling to be me while taking care of my family.

So as far as sex. I am not really having any yet. My vaginal canal has some scar tissue that is still being treated. I have my own breasts now and I am very pleased with the cosmetic success of my operations. However, I have to say that it is a long road for me to get where I want to be sexually. I am still married to a wonderful woman but our sex life is most likely over. So having the correct body hasn't translated to a perfect sexual connection yet. I strongly believe it will happen. I am being patient with myself as this is a very complicated situation. Years of suppressing being bisexual can't just be waived away especially when my marriage and family are fragile right now.

If you can honestly approach this question as just a fantasy good for you. However, if this causes you distress and envy as you read mine and Paula's account then good luck. I wouldn't change a thing but it is not for the meek!

Suzanne

[Jenny22]

Unless you knew after the 'poof' that you were a male before the poof, you'd probably do the normal things a female would do at her age. Huh??? If after the poof I was a female of the same age, I'd just go to bed after I had my nap. If I was a much younger female, however, it would be, 'look out, world! Here comes Jenny.'

[Rogina B]

Poof ! You are now a woman ! An "average " one. Not gifted in any way..Just "Average Annie"...What will you do with your life given the "cards" you have? Not so desirable,is it?

[Sissy_Michelle]

Thank-you PaulaQ.

There was a lot of great points in your post.

For me, if I woke up one morning and I found myself female. I am certain I would experience a lot of what PaulaQ outlined for us. I would be lying if I said I hadn't fantasized about being magically transformed into a female. More so when I was younger and could have gotten away with it easier. I think the shopping would be fun at first, but I have always had problems putting together outfits... What goes with what, type of thing. I am sure I would lose what friends I do have and would make a few more, though if they were my friends they would accept me for who I am or have become. I have already lost a few "friends" when I tried sharing with them that I crossdress... Though I have been curious about sex as a woman, I feel it would be a long process to understand my new body and how it now works. I am not naive to think that though I wear women's clothes, and wish to explore my feminine side more that sooner or later sex will be a part of it. To dress fully as a woman, act like a woman, experience life as a woman, you cannot think that sex wouldn't be part of it.

Although I cannot help but to think how much I would spend on clothes....

@--}----
Michelle

[Teresa]

Sherry,
I had it all planned, if my separation had happened . I would have to move away , I'm sure that goes without saying, my plan was to dress full time and possibly to take a teaching course so I could run a painting group . I realise I wouldn't be a totally passable female , it could never happen but I would be the person I wish to be seen as and be accepted in the role I chose . Living with a mirror image isn't living a real life , that's what my goal was to do the two things in my life I enjoy most .

[Jean 103]

Just simply live life. Oh isn’t that what I’m doing. This is who I am and if you don’t like it I don’t care. Or maybe I should just say you tell them Sherry. I was at Karaoke last night and this girl tells me I have a beautiful voice. I told my roommate and he said “what was she smoking”, He is like a lead singer, just a bit critical. Yes get out live life today not tomorrow.

[Wen4cd]

I second the sex thing.

[KimberlyJean]

Hopefully my clothes still fit, then I would really like my life to proceed as it has been, only I get to be a woman. I believe that my life would have taken a similar path to what it has if I had been born the right way.

[Maria Blackwood]

I second the sex thing.

Can we get a third? ;-)

Sorry. Just feeling naughty after a long week.

[St Lisa]

I'd like to join the Thanks Paula chorus. That's great stuff to hear and I'm glad you can share it here. I think many of us forget that being a girl still has some very real downsides in our world.

As for the "poof" if you offered me the chance to be all girl I don't think I'd take it.

Now if you offered me a control dial with Brad Pitt on one end and Scarlett Johansson on the other I'd wear that sucker out. I doubt I'd ever stay on one end much longer than a few days and many days I'd be switching several times a day.

[docrobbysherry]

"Motion carried, Maria!"

Can we get a third? ;-)
Sorry. Just feeling naughty after a long week.

Altho, my sex life with/as Sherry is already quit amazing. It requires erections for participation. Women don't seem to have that issue!