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Thread: Dressing and sexual gratification

  1. #1
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    Dressing and sexual gratification

    I was reading a book (Resource guide to coming out for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Americans) and one section they stated this:

    "Cross-dressers identify as their gender at birth but sometimes dress in clothing of the opposite gender. Transvestite is a psychiatric term describing men and women who cross-dress for sexual gratification."

    I know in my journey it started out to be much more of a sexual gratification thing (transvestite), but as time passed it's become more of my female part expressing itself (cross-dresser). I can still get turned on pretty quickly if I'm dressed and the mood goes in that direction. It's kind of like the sexual arousal is just below the surface and at the slightest hint in that direction and things can happen quickly.

    Actually the more I think about this it's evolved more over the years than I had originally thought. Initially I came to CDing like many of us, at a very early age. First time at 5 years old, second at 9 year old, third at 13. All of these were before I knew what sex was. It was purely me meeting my feminine side and enjoying the association with female clothes. Then I hit puberty and it became very much sexual, likely because of my sex drive ramped up significantly. Now in my older years as the sex drive recedes a little, the feminine side has taken the forefront.

    Do you identify as a cross-dresser or transvestite based on the definition above?

    Has it changed over the years?
    Last edited by sweetdreams; 02-24-2017 at 12:16 PM.

  2. #2
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Interesting terminology, SD. Something we argue about endlessly here. I describe myself as a CD and probably not a TG/TS on this site. Did your book mention autogynephilia? Where dressers r turned on by their image dressed? That is what seems to blow my hair back!

    Or, r u simply turned on by some of the items u r wearing? Those items may be fetishes for those that r. Some dressers r turned on by the feel, textures, and or restrictions of the clothing items themselves.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  3. #3
    Gold Member JenniferR771's Avatar
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    How important is your mirror?
    Would you still crossdress if there were no mirrors in your house?

  4. #4
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
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    Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who's the fairest of them all? It has got to be me when I look in the mirror. The mirror is important to us all.

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    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    While yes I use to get turned on by dressing at an early age as I got older I knew it was way deeper then that.
    The need to express myself in a feminine way became much stronger which did actulky confuse me more.
    Now it's finally come together in that I'm gender fluid and my sexuality is part of my expression, if that makes sense

  6. #6
    Crossdresser-At-Large BillieAnneJean's Avatar
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    Hey Sweetdreams,
    Are you still dressing once every four years?

    Amazing self control, denial, or just too small a wardrobe?

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    The Anima Corrupt Wen4cd's Avatar
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    If pressed, I consider myself a 'transvestite' although I have never been sexually turned on by my own dressing. My sexuality lies down different pathways.

    When I was a kid in highschool the health teacher I had defined transvestite as "someone who crossdresses, sometimes for sexual gratification, but often times just for comfort." That was good enough for me, because I do what I do and don't really care what one calls it.

    I really really dislike the tendency to have umpteen million different labels to apply yourself with with more being invented every day. This is why we have things called 'names,' as individuals. The identity racket honestly has nothing to offer.

    You probably should not spend any effort worrying about which label fits you, because once you do, then there will a subtle pressure for you to conform to the label.
    And so we go, on with our lives...
    We know the Truth, but prefer Lies.
    Lies are simple, simple is Bliss.
    Why go against tradition, when we can admit defeat,
    Live in Decline, be the victim of our own design?

  8. #8
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    My take on it was that for me the sexual aspect was just me as a repressed kid using the astounding energy that sexual excitement gives to a natal male to overcome the self-suppression of wanting to dress. Long before things got sexual, I learned to hide and suppress my transgender feelings. Sexual energy could break those barriers down for a time. After a while, I learned some self-acceptance and didn't need that extra push to get past my own repression and then dressing lost its sexual link. I can't say that's how it is for everyone, but that's how it was for me.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  9. #9
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    Wen4cd I agree.
    I'm opposed to all these labels and flavor of the month gender terms for people that want to be different and want to make up a new name for what they do.
    Why is there such a need to be that one little special snowflake that is so special it needs its own gender name.
    On one website with many people with GI issues a thread was running about sex.
    One GG said I'm pansexual then one said I used to be but now I think I'm bi. OK confused much??
    One said they were asexual and one responded well my BF is trisexual. OK that was one I never heard of LOL.

    Back when I first started CDing there was a small sexual thrill but within a week or two that was gone.

  10. #10
    Member Evie82's Avatar
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    It used to be for me, but as I got to my later teens and early twenties I realised that what the real buzz was seeing myself the way I wanted to be, and the fact that dressing made me feel happy, relaxed and contented was a big confirmation for me.
    That said, the crowd I used to hang out with wouldn't have understood so I surpressed the want/need to dress and that side of me to the point that I was thoroughly miserable and ploughed through several train-wreck relationships.
    These days my partner is fully supportive of me (we are both trans) which really is the most wonderful thing. So the fact that I present female and (s)he presents male when we can (we're not out as such, but we'd love to do that together) is just part of our relationship, in and out of the bedroom. If I wear something sexy then of course I'll probably feel that way and may get turned on. But I'd bet that most women experience that, and it's more down the the emotional responses between my partner and I than down to it being a fetish or feeling 'naughty' or 'kinky' or like I'm getting aroused by doing something I shouldn't.
    So I suppose that when I'm dressed, arousal can happen much the same way it does when I'm in drab. This seems to me to be perfectly reasonable and it's not something I worry about too much.
    I'll stop now before I really start to ramble!

    Edit: I should have mentioned that I liked to dress up before I knew what sex was, so I think I've always had a feminine streak in me - it just took a long time for me to figure it out.
    Last edited by Evie82; 02-24-2017 at 04:00 PM.

  11. #11
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    Sweetdreams,
    I'm sorry to correct you but transvestite is Latin for crossdressing, ( trans= cross, vestite= clothes/garb ,) there is also no sexual content in either term.

    It's media that has added the labels.

    We shouldn't be afraid to admit we have a sexual content to our CDing, it started with a bang for me at the age of 8-9 years, I know now I was born with a female trait, which was overlaid on my male side, various circumstances came together and the whole thing became intertwined with females, clothing and sex. I know now that was the start of my AGP, the feeling or need from that moment has never gone away, I have lived with the gut feeling 24/7 ever since. I did ask the question in the TS section as to what happens when the T level finally subsides but at the moment it isn't showing any signs of dropping. I will add I was born in the era of ignorance of sex, so I was more traumatised by the way my CDing started , I refer to it as a combination lock being set in my brain and no one has the combination to unlock it. When I advise people to go back to their roots when they say they don't understand their CDing this is the reason why, the way mine started has affected me all my life.

  12. #12
    The Anima Corrupt Wen4cd's Avatar
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    Teresa I also use the 'combination lock' analogy with sexual energies. A friend I once knew describes the phenomna as a creek: When you reach climax, your brain has gone down certain neural pathways to get there. This cuts a channel like a stream to the goal, and the pathway is now the path of least resistance. The channel cuts itself deeper and deeper each time. Making it less and less likely there will ever be another path. Your brain unconsciously remembers the neural pathways to the climax, but you consciously only see this as a series of evocative symbols that associate with the journey. It becomes a game of understanding and managing your symbols.
    Last edited by Wen4cd; 02-24-2017 at 01:47 PM.
    And so we go, on with our lives...
    We know the Truth, but prefer Lies.
    Lies are simple, simple is Bliss.
    Why go against tradition, when we can admit defeat,
    Live in Decline, be the victim of our own design?

  13. #13
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    Sweet dreams, I say that I was cross dressing or playing moms things long before I knew what sex was. This is evidenced of some old black and white pictures mom had of me in front of a round mirror wearing her hat and lipstick. In my teens I loved the hose the old girdles and the jewlry mom had. That's the time I started getting turned on by dressing and really I found the sexual gratification for many years after that in the dressing. In my late sixties I'm now wearing my panties daily.i don't dress near as often. I've purged a lot of things but still keep my hose and makeup and the clothing that I find smooth and comfortable to wear. It's soothing to me, especially when I'm stressed ( which not as much now as in my early years of raising kids and in jobs that were stressful and demanding), the clothing though is still very soothing and relaxing to me. Not so much as a sexual thing. So I guess we all might have a little transvestite and CD in us. Another possibility is that we all pass thru stages of different definitions. I hate being labeled as anything but human so really you can call me anything just so I'm get the call when it's time to eat supper. Lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by BillieAnneJean View Post
    Hey Sweetdreams,
    Are you still dressing once every four years?

    Amazing self control, denial, or just too small a wardrobe?
    Ha! That's funny.

    No I've progressed a little further than that now. I did seem to have a pattern when I was young. Yes roughly a four year cycle. They were broken up by a pattern of a parent finding my stash. I would quit, but after about four years I couldn't resist any longer.
    Last edited by sweetdreams; 02-24-2017 at 04:21 PM.

  15. #15
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Would my desire to dress as a nun make me a transister?
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ressie View Post
    Would my desire to dress as a nun make me a transister?
    Or for those who wear breast forms - transformers.

    Or for those who are serious about transitioning they could have a transmission.

    Or when we get dressed up we could be undertaking a transaction.

    Or those who only occasionally get dressed up when the urge is compelling they could be getting a transfusion.

    Or when one of my parents found my stash when I was a kid they realized they were transparent.

    Jeeze someone take my internet away and stop me. I'm on a roll.
    Last edited by sweetdreams; 02-24-2017 at 03:08 PM.

  17. #17
    Crossdresser-At-Large BillieAnneJean's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sweetdreams View Post
    Ha! That's funny.

    No I've progressed a little further than that now. I did seem to have a pattern when I was young. Yes roughly a four year cycle. They were broken up by a pattern of a parent finding my stash. I would quite, but after about four years I couldn't resist any longer.
    I am pleased that you saw that I was being funny!

    I hope you have a LOT more fun CDing now!

  18. #18
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    I really hate the word transvestite. Do I get aroused when I am dressed as a woman, yes, but, no more so than when dressed in male clothing. could I live without a mirror, of course, but, again, when I brush my hair or shave, I use a mirror in male mode.

    I grew up knowing the word Transvestite and it having a degrading 'wierdo' aspect to it. Cross dresser doesn't have the same connotation, ultimately the majority of women's clothing that we wear today was worn by men a millennia ago. A woman can wear anything she likes, be it men's or women's and no one is worried, why is it that men are seen by society as 'wrong' should they dare to wear a skirt or dress (whilst obviously portraying a man)...

  19. #19
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    I was lost about all this until 2015! My crossdressing before that was panties mostly! It was sexual but as I said I knew nothing! Transvestite was a term for a male in a dress with all the negative connotations! In 2015, I realized i was a crossdresser! My wife passed away(not accepting in any way shape or form) and I had suppressed the"urge" for 34+ years (with a few times wearing panties but purged immediately). After about a month, the pink fog set in and I literally rushed to K Mart and purchased some panties! They felt great but it was not a sexual thing! It just felt good! After, being in hiding on this site, I realized and learned a whole lot rather quickly! Unlike many who feel guilty, I feel like it is me and is just right! Just my $.02! Hugs Lana Mae

  20. #20
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    I don't think one category is sufficient. Whether we call it "crossdresser" or "transvestite" it all seems to be the way our brain is hardwired. When we crossdress our neural pathways release dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and other neurotransmitters which produce the sensations we enjoy. The experience is automatic and involuntary. It is what separates us from the boring masses.

    Crossdressing encompasses a very wide spectrum. Whether you develop a female alter-ego or are a simple man in a dress, we all receive pleasurable sensation from it. We can describe it as sexual, or comfort, or our authentic self, but always makes us happy.

  21. #21
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    Sweetdreams, you're really funny and a good transsport.
    My kind of humor.

    I moved south this winter so I may have been transplanted.

    Without apologies,

    Ineke

  22. #22
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ressie View Post
    Would my desire to dress as a nun make me a transister?
    It must be true, Ressie. "I heard it on the radio."



    [QUOTE=-----------------------------------------------------------
    Crossdressing encompasses a very wide spectrum. Whether you develop a female alter-ego or are a simple man in a dress, we all receive pleasurable sensation from it. We can describe it as sexual, or comfort, or our authentic self, but always makes us happy.[/QUOTE]

    And, I experience both. But, they r like apples and oranges, Confucius. I get comfort and become completely zoned out when dressed or dressing. But, the sexual part has NOTHING to do with comfort or "pleasurable sensations". It's about sexual satisfaction and nothing else!



    Quote Originally Posted by Wen4cd View Post
    Teresa I also use the 'combination lock' analogy with sexual energies. A friend I once knew describes the phenomna as a creek: When you reach climax, your brain has gone down certain neural pathways to get there. This cuts a channel like a stream to the goal, and the pathway is now the path of least resistance. The channel cuts itself deeper and deeper each time. Making it less and less likely there will ever be another path. Your brain unconsciously remembers the neural pathways to the climax, but you consciously only see this as a series of evocative symbols that associate with the journey. It becomes a game of understanding and managing your symbols.
    Well said, Wen. And, this is why I quit dating a while back. While I miss the company and sensual side of having a female companion, I have found that being intimate with Sherry for so long has ruined me with actual women! To all of our dissatisfaction----



    Teresa, if u ever want to discuss your possible AGP future, T levels,. etc? Remember I'm 70+! PM me!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  23. #23
    Senior Member lisalove's Avatar
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    I'm a crossdresser, because I wear the clothes meant for the opposite sex. I love the clothes so I wear them.
    I have no desires to be a woman, never have. I was 5 when I started. To me it's just normal. I would feel weird if I wore men's clothes.
    Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

  24. #24
    Member Diane Taylor's Avatar
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    By the definitions listed in the original post I'd consider myself a "crossdresser", but I prefer not to label myself or others who wear "clothing of the opposite sex". Why does clothing have to be gender specific ? I also think that labels seem to imply that there's something "wrong" with the one who is labeled. I'm just ME and I wear what I like. As for the sexual gratification aspect......It's quite likely that many of us experienced some level of sexual gratification when we first started "dressing" because of the excitement that it brought us initially. Over time as we dressed more frequently we got to be more comfortable with it and the sexual part subsided or even disappeared. This phenomenon is mentioned in Lesley Gordon's book "Aspects of Gender".

  25. #25
    Junior Member Sophistic8d_grl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JenniferR771 View Post
    How important is your mirror?
    Would you still crossdress if there were no mirrors in your house?
    JR771: What an intriguing consideration you phrased~ thank you for sharing it! DRS, Teresa, W4CD, et al: I so enjoy your contributions!
    Last edited by Sophistic8d_grl; 02-25-2017 at 03:28 AM. Reason: sp
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