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Thread: Dressing and sexual gratification

  1. #26
    Aspiring Member Lacey New's Avatar
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    Back in my early days of experimentation, as soon as I put on that first item (generally a pair of panties) it was sexual. And as I expanded my collection, sometime it was difficult to get everything on before well - you know. So I guess I was a transvestite fetishist by today's narrow slicing and dicing of particular human behavior. Nowadays, I will admit that there is still a sexual component to my dressing but in addition, there is just the delightful feeling of wearing. i can easily wear a bra, panties, perhaps a camisole and pantyhose under my guy clothes all day, feel good and not get excited at all. So now, perhaps I am just a crossdresser?

  2. #27
    Aspiring Member Fiona123's Avatar
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    I crossdress and I think of myself as transgender. I too hate the word transvestite, it's outdated and used mostly in a pejorative sense. Is there a sexual aspect to my crossdressing? Yes -often. What's wrong with that? We are sexual beings (most of us are anyways). The problem lies with the shame we attach to our gender and to sex.

  3. #28
    New Member Swimtran's Avatar
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    It's always been highly sexual for me. I don't tend to look in the mirror much when I dress because I don't look very feminine, and it kills the mood for me. I get massively aroused at the thought of being a woman, and dressing helps stimulate the fantasy. And yet when I'm done I go right back to guy mode.

  4. #29
    Aspiring Member LaurenS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JenniferR771 View Post
    How important is your mirror?
    Would you still crossdress if there were no mirrors in your house?
    Yes, but it wouldn't be as much fun.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    I've tired of trying to figure out my own label. And not just for this, but also politics and other aspects of life.

    having said that, understanding the definition of various classifications has definitely helped me understand myself better. Now that I think of it, I guess that is your point!
    You are you. You are beautiful. Labels are worthless.

  5. #30
    wiggle it, just a lil bit Julia Welch's Avatar
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    It's always has been sexual for me, still is ... but, I really enjoy the way skirts, dresses and heels look and feel so dressing will always be a thing for me ...
    Fun loving skirt wearer

  6. #31
    Member Robyn2006's Avatar
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    I can fully relate. Way back when I was a confused teen, dressing-up was a huge turn-on and I labeled myself a transvestite. But as the years went by and my comfort when ala femme became my go-to self, I finally realized that I'm transgender. Sadly my life and career prohibits coming out. I know, stupid. Nonetheless, I still find myself quite aroused when dressed. However, I attribute this arousal to just finally allowing myself to be a sexual being, something which as a male I find completely absent.
    When lost, alone, or blue I know I can always get through the day, for I've always another shade of lipstick to make things right!

  7. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robyn2006 View Post
    However, I attribute this arousal to just finally allowing myself to be a sexual being, something which as a male I find completely absent.
    I know what you are saying. In male mode it kind of blasse. In female mode there is an under current just below the surface. Just a little nudge and poof - game on!

    I'm older and even with testosterone levels being quite low, who need Viagra. All I need is Victoria's Secret.

  8. #33
    Silver Member LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    Both Transvestic Fetishism (sexual arousal by wearing women's clothing) and Autogynephilia (sexually arousal by the thought or image of oneself as female) have been mentioned in this thread. While there is a huge overlap between them, they are not the same thing. For instance, many AGPs are only aroused by the thought of having women's bodies and the clothes are irrelevant to the fantasy. Also many TFs are only aroused by the clothing or certain articles of clothing. I belong in both camps but I don't think either AGP or TF adequately describe my fetish. To put it in it's most unsexy terms, what arouses me is the anxiety of association to symbols of emasculation. That can include wearing women's clothing, having a woman's body, being an effeminate fairy, being a submissive to a Dominatrix, being a gay bottom for hyper-masculine males and etc. Crossdressing isn't my fetish, it's just a way to accessorize it.

  9. #34
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    I read the OP's thread yesterday, but, I did not have time to put my two cents in. I minimized the screen and Googled, "How many times do men masturbate?" I am assuming there are many responses skirting (pun intended) around the question. First,

    "Cross-dressers identify as their gender at birth but sometimes dress in clothing of the opposite gender>" Duh? If you do not dress in women's clothing you are not a cross dresser.

    "Transvestite is a psychiatric term describing men and women who cross-dress for sexual gratification." Wow, what does this mean? What are the implications? Based upon the unscientific evidence shown in threads on the site, it appears to me there was a lot of masturbation going on leading to "sexual gratification." Locker room talk back in high school would lead any investigator to assume half the human population was going to go blind or have his penis fall off. Or, if you are looking to fail your logic class with a solid "F," then sexual gratification = cross dressing.

    Anyway, I went to some websites for statistical analysis and it seems male masturbation is something all men have done or are doing. It does appear some men are still believing masturbation will cause them to go blind. Or maybe, they are saved because they are having sexual intercourse once, twice or three times a day.

    The entire statement is a bunch of "bunk." Guys at any age engage in self gratification, i.e., masturbation. Maybe the experience is enhanced because he is reading a copy of Penthouse Variations, gazing at lingerie ads in Victoria Secrets, Playboy, Playgirl or a picture of his girl friend. Or he grabbed a pair of some women's panties off the clothesline on the way to the outhouse.

    Wearing women's clothing is not the motivation for sexual gratification. If my recollections are not fogged up by my advancing age I think I did a lot more masturbation with Playboy in my other hand than when I wore women's clothing.

  10. #35
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    It's 2017 and the way I see it, it is a free-for-all.
    For all the years I spent dressing minimaly, maybe just a bra and pantyhose, a cheap Halloween wig that I quickly discarded, a heart racing purchase of some cheap strapy 1" sandals from Payless that too were disappeared within a month, I considered it cross dressing. It was never the complete package. Once I was over the hurdle of disclosure to my SO, she helped me procure it all. She did my make-up and after crossing the threshold of the bathroom, with a nice wig snug on my head, hoop clip-ons brushing against my upper jaw, and my legs stretched in 6" heels, all the undergarments under a simple skirt and top, I had entered a shiny new realm. I didn't feel like a dusty aborted patch quilt. I told her I felt like a transvestite and not a cross dresser anymore.
    Whatever the proper nomenclature is, or how a DSM VII might describe it, it will always be that way for me.

  11. #36
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    At a very young age I found that dressing in lingerie, especially slips, corsets and nightgowns, was a huge sexual thrill for me. Well before I came to puberty I dressed as often as I could and achieved sexual gratification from it. I still associated my fetishistic transvestism with sexual arousal and gratification. I also find dressing to be emotionally comforting and calming. So I seem to spread over quite a segment of the spectrum. Transvestism is not just a little part of me, it is an integral part of my psychological being.
    My journey of sexual exploration was intimately bound up with dressing up in female clothing. I loved it and still do. Also I find that I really enjoy being dominated and I have been with some excellent ladies who have induced an incredible sexual high in me. I love going into deep sub-space when dressed. I met one domme who had a Masters degree in psychology and although she did not practice as a professional psychologist, she had a remarkable ability to understand me and to push all of the right buttons to take me to a place in my sexuality that I did not believe existed until then.
    What struck me after that is how little we truly understand about ourselves as few of us have had the opportunity to go on full voyages of exploration.

    I hope my rather brutal honesty does not offend anyone.
    Last edited by CONSUELO; 02-26-2017 at 11:49 AM. Reason: missing sentence.

  12. #37
    Aspiring Artist Kelly DeWinter's Avatar
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    Sweetdreams

    I'm not being critical of you, but I could not find a reference for a book by that name "Resource guide to coming out for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender Americans" in your post. There are a couple that sound similar.

    If you could please provide author and publisher for reference in this thread.

    HISTORICAL NOTES
    Mangnus Hirschfeld
    coined the word transvestite in 1910 (from Latin trans-, "across, over" and vestitus, "dressed") to refer to the sexual interest in cross-dressing. (yes the original meaning included a sexual aspect) He used it to describe persons who habitually and voluntarily wore clothes of the opposite sex. Hirschfeld's group of transvestites consisted of both males and females, with heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, and asexual orientations.Hirschfeld himself was not happy with the term: He believed that clothing was only an outward symbol chosen on the basis of various internal psychological situations.(gender view vs sex orientation) In fact, Hirschfeld helped people to achieve the very first name changes (legal given names were and are required to be gender-specific in Germany ) and performed the first reported sexual reassignment surgery. Hirschfeld's transvestites therefore were, in today's terms, not only transvestites, but a variety of people from the transgender spectrum. Hirschfeld also noticed that sexual arousal was often (but not always) associated with transvestism. In more recent terminology, this is sometimes called now called transvestic fetishism. Hirschfeld also clearly distinguished between transvestism as an expression of a person's "contra-sexual" (transgender) feelings and sometimes fetishistic behavior, even if the latter involved wearing clothes of the other sex.


    Not all Cross-dressers identify as the gender of their birth.

    So the meanings of words do change over time and to view people who are cross-dressers or who are transgendered as trasvestic fetishists is inaccurate.


    For me your definitions are inaccurate and to answer your question, No using clothing strictly as an arousal component has always been a no, am i missing something ?



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  13. #38
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    I'm a crossdresser being dressed has nothing to do with sex for me. Just being the girl I'd like to be.
    Angie

  14. #39
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    Hi Kelly.

    Publisher is the "Human Rights Campaign Foundation." There is no author.

    They make reference in the book to their "National Coming Out Project."


    Quote Originally Posted by Kelly DeWinter View Post
    For me your definitions are inaccurate and to answer your question, No using clothing strictly as an arousal component has always been a no, am i missing something ?
    [/COLOR][/FONT]

    Point of clarification, these are not my definitions but are a quote from the book (page 10 under the heading "What Does Transgender Mean?"

  15. #40
    Aspiring Artist Kelly DeWinter's Avatar
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    Hey sweetdreams;

    I still cannot find the publication you refer to.

    other then the following.

    Coming out as a Supporter
    http://assets.hrc.org//files/assets/...980.1488141614

    Transgender Visibility - A guide to being you
    http://hrc-assets.s3-website-us-east...april_2014.pdf
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  16. #41
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    I wore a few items at a very young age and it felt good to wear them. When puberty hit I had this curiosity to try on my sisters dress and when I did I was very aroused sexually. Wearing women's clothing ever since has been about repeating that experience. I'm finally at a point where crossdressing isn't completely about sex, although that part of it is still there.

    Also, transvestite and crossdresser are the same thing in my book, just two different languages. When it's for a sexual thrill the phrase (now days) is transvestic fetishism. Way back when (50+ years?) the phrase cross dresser wasn't used or even coined yet. And transvestism was pretty much thought of as a fetish - that was worn.

    This is one reason the OP seems out of date and not quite correct. Maybe something lost in paraphrasing?
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  17. #42
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    Kelly I went on their web site as well and did not find the exact document I have.

    If you want to PM me and provide a email address I can forward it on to you. It's quite small in size.

  18. #43
    Aspiring Artist Kelly DeWinter's Avatar
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  19. #44
    New Member IllinoisGuy1025's Avatar
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    I wouldn't label myself as a transvestite but I most definitely get aroused by wearing something that makes me feel sexy. I also love women or men wearing the same thing. The feeling of silk panties or spandex leggings gets me going.

  20. #45
    Aspiring Artist Kelly DeWinter's Avatar
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    The pamphlet was written in 2004 and contains many items that would be considered inaccurate by 2017 standards

    Transsexual is a medical term describing people whose gender and sex do not line up, and who often seek medical treatment to bring their body and gender identity into alignment. Cross-dressers identify as their gender at birth but sometimes dress in clothing of the opposite gender. Transvestite is a psychiatric term describing men and women who cross-dress for sexual gratification. Many people, however, do not cross-dress for that reason, but do so to express their transgender nature — and prefer the terms cross-dresser, drag king or drag queen.

    By 2017 standards a growing number would user the term transgender or transgendered. ( DO NOT START ON ABOUT LABELS LADIES !!!! )

    Psychiatrists and Psychologists are finding out that the neat little check off boxes used for the last 60-70 years are no longer applicable to the GLTBQ community. However it seems that you can add fetish to just about anything.
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  21. #46
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    Not buying into the labels as they are a bit outdated. From the age of 12 to around 40 I could put on an item of female clothing (did not matter what) and be instantly turned on. Then suddenly almost overnight it changed, Becky emerged and dressing went from very occasional part dressing for sexual purposes to a strong urge to dress properly with no sexual aspect. That was over 10 years ago, the girl comes and goes but there is no turn on factor anymore. It disappeared overnight and never came back.
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  22. #47
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    I was only around 5 yrs. old when I started playing around with moms things. mostly her dresses, and pumps. Nothing sexuall at all, (Simply because I was too young for that). But in my teens, it became very sexuall, and I became obsessed with certain items of womens underclothes. Girdles, bras, nylon stockings. I would sneak them and wear as often as I could back then, and after I had done the deed, and gotten my much needed relief, the "guilt" feeling would overcome me. All I wanted to do was get out of them as quickly as possible. It went on this way until I was around 30. Then I decided that I would not give in to those feeling of guilt and shame. I began keeping my things on even after I got my sexuall gratification. It was difficult at first, But as we all know, those feeling come back rather quickly, so All I had to do was "ride it out" for a short time, then I was happy that I kept my underclothes on. I am now in my 60's, and I must say it has always been very sexuall for me, and still is. But I also feel content, and proper to stay dressed as much as I can. I am underdressed most of the time when I am out and about, and at home, I am dressed almost all the time. I am glad that the sexuall aspect of it has not gone away, as I do look forward to that part of it very much.

  23. #48
    Jolyn
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    what a wonderful topic ,,,,,,I'm not to concerned about the labels ,I'm still trying to figure out where I fit .I love women and want to dress like them ,the clothing is incredibly beautiful and sexually arousing to me ,
    my attraction to to women's clothing came before puberty ,but was molested at the age 8 ,I had a different childhood ! a lot of abuse that I'm still trying to work through and figure out , Bi, straight, or gay ,
    I stopped dressing about eight years ago ,but the need to dress just gets stronger ,
    I'v opened up to a few girl friends and was surprised with the welcome ,one wants to make dresses for me .
    excepting myself is getting easier , so what ever I am I'm I can't wait till I'm there ,
    thank you for all sharing

  24. #49
    Crossdresser-At-Large BillieAnneJean's Avatar
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    About me:
    Crossdressing has never been sexual, my SO is my fantasy and nothing could ever top her.

    Crossdressing provides me with a choice. I can be a woman to some percentage when I choose and return to guy knowing that I am not a guy because I have no choice. I choose to be a guy. This is important because when I was young I had no choices, my life was mapped out for me by the culture. Even the potential of dying in a war that no one wanted.

    Crossdressing is about experiencing life from a whole new angle. I have always been independent, not going with the flow, making my own decisions. Now I get to experience some of the aspects of a woman's life, things that were denied me because of societies rules.

    It seems that there are relatively few true 100% males. It seems that there are relatively few 100% trans M-F. It seems like men are somewhere in between, varying percentages of female Some have enough that they MUST transition. Some have almost none. Then most of us have varying amounts that correspond with out varying need to express ourselves in the fem. I find that because I crossdress a small amount of the time that I am happier most of the time as guy. I do not get depressed if I do not have fem time.

    So crossdressing is fun for me. Except that it makes being a guy more fun. That makes crossdressing more serious for me. Because I found happiness in it, being a guy, when not CDing.

    But it never has been sexual.

    For others:
    Life is short and can and can be shorter than you think. It doesn't matter if CDing is sexual. It doesn't matter if you want to take it to other levels. What matters is you find peace, happiness, and do not harm yourself or others. Be yourself and try to leave as small of a debris field as possible so you will have less to regret later.

    Meanwhile I am having.........
    SUCH FUN!

  25. #50
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Add me to the list of those for whom dressing in girl clothes has nothing to do with sexual excitement. I think the term transvestite was commonly used fifty some odd years ago as the cover all term to include men who dressed as women, and at that time it was believed that it was always in an attempt to have sex with other men. We now know differently, but the connection to sex with the term transvestite continues. I don't know who coined the term, but crossdresser is slowly becoming more connected with non-sexual wearing of clothes which are normally worn only by the opposite sex. I suppose it may continue, but it will take a long time before we really know, and I won't be alive by then.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

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