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Thread: Getting, and or being recognized, by someone you know.

  1. #1
    I am her, she is me tanya_cd's Avatar
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    Getting, and or being recognized, by someone you know.

    Have you ever been trying not to be recognized as your male self and had someone you know personally, recognize you?

    I have heard other gurls say that most people who know you outside of close friends or family, would probably not know it was you.

    Thoughts, comments?

  2. #2
    Queen of Chinatown jennifer0918's Avatar
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    Yes I tried but people still recognized me anyways.Knock on wood no one has seen me as Jennifer.

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member
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    I passed by a coworker in the grocery store, made eye contact, and so far as I can tell he didn't have a clue it was me. But really my female side is so far from my male persona that you would need a reason to suspect and then look for me. It still freaked me out and I hurriedly checked out then left. On the way out I realized he knew what my truck looks like so that started another worry. I was extremely relieved to see that he parked on the opposite end of the lot.

  4. #4
    Member Ashley090's Avatar
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    I have to little to none experience of going out but i did several evening/night drives. Event during those I am hopping not to drive by someone who knows me or my car. But still in case of somebody see my car I have prepared story about why some random girl was driving my car or why she looked little bit like my male side
    But i guess if somebody you know (and they know you) is kind of stressful. I would probably want disapear from world if that happend ever to me
    Or can you imagine while you have good time walking at shopping centre you meet your parents...

  5. #5
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    People I know need to be prompted very hard before they recognise me.

    Even, look it's me doesn't seem to work.

    Very satisfying really. :-)
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  6. #6
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    It's totally dependent on circumstances and how far removed your female look is from your male look. I have ridden in a hotel elevator with coworkers who did not recognize me. I have had the clerk at the grocery store spot me in a heartbeat. Both of those occasions I was out in full femme disguise. These days I mostly go out with my natural hair and my small-but-growing natural (modulo hormones) boobs and people who haven't seen me in ages recognize me instantly, usually opening with, "So.... what's new with you?"
    Last edited by Pat; 03-01-2017 at 09:57 AM. Reason: spelling
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  7. #7
    Banned Spammer
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    My female side is pretty different from my guy side I suppose because I looked straight at my son in law for a few seconds as I was shoe shopping in 100% girl mode.
    He walked right past me as did my daughter.
    Thats was several years ago and neither have ever spoken to me of the incident.

  8. #8
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
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    I passed by a longtime childhood friend (sister of one of my best friends) while going up on an escalator (she was heading down). We made direct eye contact but she showed zero sign of recognition and there has been no sign since that she put 2 & 2 together after the fact. But that was back in my wig days which provides a degree of disguise and therefore, anonymity. These days with no wig, I would not expect to enjoy such a lack of reaction.
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  9. #9
    Junior Member
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    Going home from work one night and had changed into my girl clothes. Stopped for gas and the cashier I knew from the station where we filled our company trucks. She called me by name and told me I looked good and that she wished she had my legs. She was cool about it and never told any of the other drivers.

  10. #10
    Senior Member michelleddg's Avatar
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    Four years ago I had a boudoir shoot and so spent a very up close and personal hour with my photographer. I left my wallet at her studio and called that afternoon to say I'd be by in an hour to pick it up. I arrived as advertised, in boy mode, and walked up to her desk. "May I help you?" Very pregnant pause. "Ooooooooooo. My goodness!" Hugs, Michelle

  11. #11
    Gold Member Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    I've never experienced this but I have to think nobody would recognize me, at least that's my assumption.
    However if it ever happens I think I'm prepared to own it and just go with it

  12. #12
    Stop that, it's silly.... DIANEF's Avatar
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    I showed a co-worker a picture of Diane and said it was my wife. She said she was pretty and and asked if she was a natural blonde!
    Here today, gone tomorrow....

  13. #13
    Member sarahcrossed's Avatar
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    i walked right by a friend of mine on the street. he didn't even recognize me. i just kept walking with my head high. i kinda wish i would have stopped and talked to him. i later came out to him and showed him a picture of sarah. He didn't even know.

  14. #14
    Silver Member Becky Blue's Avatar
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    I once had the opportunity to dress for a work fancy dress party. There were only about 20 people and the theme was outrageous. My wife was away for work at the time and my daughter suggested I went in drag. Of course she knows nothing about Becky. I tried very hard to not look too convincing as I did not want her or anyone at my work to suspect anything. I really looked awful and very much like a guy in a dress and cheap wig.

    Rang the doorbell, the host (who I work very closely with every day) answered the door, she looked straight at me and said can I help you, I had to talk and say "Hi Anna is me" she nearly fainted.
    A.K.A Rebecca & Bec

  15. #15
    Gold Member Diane Smith's Avatar
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    I was in a Lenscrafters store a few years ago, fully dressed from lashes to heels, waiting to pick up a new pair of glasses, when a work acquaintance and her husband walked in. She recognized me instantly and proceeded to have a professional conversation with me as if nothing was unusual! She was a very open minded person and it never caused any further issues in our relationship, but I was shocked and taken aback that she had "made" me so quickly. One lasting result of that encounter is that I more or less gave up on wearing my somewhat recognizable natural hair when dressed, and started using a wig whenever I go out. I don't know how much of a difference that has made, but nothing similar has happened to me since.

    - Diane

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
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    I haven't been out enough to be seen by a co-worker, but I have a story. I was at Nordstrom's and needed to change to drab, and the SA said I could change in the dressing room. I had been with this SA four or five different times on different days, each time dressed. After I changed to drab, I was standing at the sales desk waiting to say thanks to the SA before I left while she helped another customer. She turned to me and asked if she could help me, not realizing it was the same "woman" she had been helping for the past two hours!

  17. #17
    Super Moderator Jeri Ann's Avatar
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    Back in January, when Michelleddg was beginning her 19 day stint of Michelle time, we had back to back appointments at a nail salon for acrylics and pretty toes. Because of the language barrier I had difficulty communicating what I wanted. I showed the nail techs pictures of me on my phone and they kept responding, "She very pretty". Finally one snapped and realized what was happening and I got the red carpet treatment. They got so carried away that they greatly undercharged me for French tips, pedicure and facial. I also showed them pictures of Michelle so that she would not have to go through the same thing. Now they love us and want us to come back.
    Last edited by Jeri Ann; 03-02-2017 at 09:26 AM.

  18. #18
    Senior Member michelleddg's Avatar
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    On the flip side...Jeri and I went out to a lovely restaurant all decked out and got first class treatment. I left an article behind and returned the next morning to retrieve it. I entered in boy mode and before I could say a word the hostess handed it to me. Wow, sobering! I asked her how she knew it was me. Bottom line is she didn't know herself; she just knew. Hugs, Michelle

  19. #19
    Platinum Member
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    Being recognized is almost inevitable. Most people are amazingly good at facial recognition. But something changes after you've been going out for a while...you learn that your worst fears of being recognized are seldom realized. When I began going out in my neighborhood during daylight-to the cleaners, bank, mall and vet, soon enough I encountered people who knew me en drab...just
    in passing. Most seemed not to recognize, but a few did and without exception they were gracious to me.

  20. #20
    Member Diane Taylor's Avatar
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    I've never been KNOWINGLY recognized but that doesn't mean no one has. I guess I'll never know !

  21. #21
    Senior Member Ceera's Avatar
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    So far, it hasn't happened very often for me.

    When I started going out in public, the places I went while en-femme were not places I was likely to encounter any of my male side's friends. So it just didn't happen.

    Shortly before I moved to Oregon, my daughter and I attended an anime convention in downtown Austin, TX, and I chose to spend some of the time in a female fox mascot costume, with a full-head mask. Though there were several people there that my daughter and I both knew, none realized my girl fox character was my male self inside the costume... Until the last day, when I had to collect my daughter and leave the event. Well, my daughter was with one of her high school female friends, and when the other girl realized the person in the girl fox costume was acting like my daughter's parent, she suddenly asked, "Is that your dad in that costume?" My darling daughter just replied, "Yeah, he's cosplaying as one of his original characters." and left it at that. Well, cosplaying as an opposite gender character is kind of normal, so the girl thought nothing of it. I wonder what she would have said if she had seen me when I returned to the convention hotel later that night, fully en-femme, to attend a dance? Saw that girl several times after that, and she never mentioned it.

    More recently, after moving back to Oregon, I started attending historical reenactment events with the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA), in both presentations. In the first few months I attended only as my male self, and found there were fairly few of my old friends from 20+ years earlier still active in the SCA. I connected with a few old friends, and made a few new ones, before deciding to try a female presence at SCA events. Last Summer they had a three day long camping event, and I spent nearly half the time en-femme. My girl self chatted with some of those same people who knew my male side, and they never gave any indication that they knew who I was as a male. But I also had my very recognizable Bernese Mountain Dog with me at the event, and had to take him for a walk fairly frequently. So on occasion people would see my lady form walking the same dog that they knew was owned by my male form. Still, most people passed it off as me being a girl in the same household, who happened to be taking turns walking the dog. What finally got me recognized was needing to collect my daughter from the archery range, for dinner. The guy running the archery activities was one of my daughter's and my guy side's new friends, and he loves my dog. So when my girl side came to the range with dog on leash, and asked my daughter to return to camp for dinner, he saw that, and as I left asked, "Wait. Was that your dad?" My daughter admitted that it was and he just chuckled and said I looked pretty good. Later he saw me as a guy again and he told me that I looked really convincing as a girl, and that if it hadn't been for the dog and the parental way I addressed my daughter, he wouldn't have guessed it was me. He's perfectly cool with it, so it's all good.

    A few months back I spend an entire day en-femme at another SCA event, and even after chatting at length with two women who used to know my male side quite well, neither recognized me.

  22. #22
    Emerging Diva Nikki A.'s Avatar
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    I've had people who didn't recognize me and others who have. It depends on where and when they see you. It seems if it is in a place where you are not expected to be seen you have a better chance of not being recognized.

  23. #23
    Silver Member
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    I used to travel a lot. I have run into people that I knew thousand of miles away from both of our homes. You never know. Often they were people that traveled a lot.

  24. #24
    Aspiring Member
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    On the other hand people remember me, in either presentation people recognize me when they see me. I went into a local Avenue twice about a month apart and didn't spend much time in there the first time. As soon as I walked into the door the manager welcomed me back. This happens all the time in male mode because he does not blend well for other reasons. I just wasn't expecting to be rememberable as Kimberly.

  25. #25
    Junior Member mirima1992's Avatar
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    A few years ago a co-worker pulled up next to me at a light, but it was still pretty dark. My car at the time was orange, so it sort of stood out. At work he mentioned he thought he saw my car, but it turned out to be a girl. I was glad he didn't check the license plate! Last spring I was out in the a.m. in full dress and makeup and before I knew it, the sun was completely up. I turned into a gas station and parked on the far side of the lot to pull my makeup remover from the back seat so I could get my girl face off before going back to my apartment. As I'm about to get back in the front seat I look up and see three teens coming down the sidewalk bordering the lot. One of them is my next door neighbors son. So I just stayed with my torso in the car and my lower body out, figuring I just look like somebody getting something out of the back seat, which I was. I'm watching the mirror to see when they're past, and when they get past my driver side, one of them glances in my direction and sees me. He nudges neighbor boy who looks over, sees a short skirt and heels, and gives me a wolf whistle! They continued on, as did I. But every time I see him in the parking lot or hallway, I nearly crack up at the thought, "if he only knew."

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