I thought some of you might like an upbeat piece of sunshine.
Last night something pretty cool happened.
Few of us experience an easy transition. Many of us, at some point in our journey, build up one life as a male and another as a woman, and often the two lives are totally separate. Many of us have important people in our lives that do not truly know us or really understand anything about who we are inside. As we transition and “come out” the process of informing the important people can be scary...often terrifying. The prospect of losing those we love the most has kept many of us trapped in this double life for many years.
So, last night a bridge was crossed.
My dear, dear younger sister Chelsea is in transition. She lives with me and was an awesome friend when I was going through the trauma of losing my son last Fall.
Her double life included many years as an extremely daring and rugged man, capable of taking up any sport and excelling.....from baseball to hockey to golf, hunting, whether with rifle or bow, motor cross enduro bike racing to cross country skiing, Chelsea earned immediate respect in every field she entered, and from some of the most rugged and masculine men around. Her list of close friends included Marines and mechanics, welders and bikers. So, it was with no little fear, as her body has changed this past year or so, that she embarked on the difficult task of trying to meld her two worlds into one authentic life, and in the process breaking the news to her male friends that the uber male they had known for so long was, in fact, a woman. Daunting would be an understatement.
BTW...Chelsea doesn't talk about this stuff...her gruff, stoic side doesn't talk about her emotional stuff much at all.
Well, last night something pretty cool occurred.
A couple of months ago Chelsea was invited to a wedding. The daughter of one or her best and closest male friends was getting married. A girl that Chelsea has known since birth. So, this was the start. They have not seen her for months and months, during which her appearannce has changed radically to say the least.
Whispered secrets spread from daughter to Mom. And ( no surprise to any of us that know her) the news was met with enthusiastic support. Chelsea was immediately informed by the girls that, for the wedding, Chelsea herself would be expected, and not her old alter ego.
And, as expected, word began to spread among the balance of her old male friends. It has been difficult these past few weeks waiting to learn the repercussions from this revelation.
Last night, early in the evening, Chelsea and I had some Invasion business at a local five star hotel. Afterward we stopped at the Apple for a quick drink. Shortly after we arrived her cell buzzed and she excused herself to take the call. A glance in her direction later, as she spoke on the phone, informed me it was no trivial conversation. Her face was serious and her eyes welling with tears. She returned a moment later and sat for a bit in stony faced silence. I was afraid something dreadful had occurred.
After a beat she turned and a small smile crossed her lips, tears still in her eyes.
“That call? That was the biggest, baddest, top Sergeant Marine I know. The uber male, alpha dog of all my male friends. He called to tell me that whatever I was doing....that whomever I am becoming..... that he would have my back...that I was one of the 'baddest' dudes he knew and that whatever came, we would still be tight”
Before we could say anything else, her cell rang again. This time she got off quickly and said “Come on...we have to be somewhere in 20 minutes”
A short drive away was a house occupied by a couple that have been Chelsea's friends forever. A couple, somewhat older, who have been, all at once, friends, drinking, hockey and hunting buddies, mentors and even surrogate parents at times. The parents of the bride. More than anyone else in her “tribe”, it was this couple...in particular this man.... whose friendship she feared losing.
We walked in, into a home which has been a second home to Chelsea over the years. A huge dog happily greeted Chelsea......and so did both of the old friends who lived there. Greeted her warmly...happily....enthusiastically.... and with great, great love. We all sat and talked for a long time. And before long I looked over and Chelsea was kneeling on the couch next to her old friend....giddily engaged in conversation.....both laughing and smiling and reliving old memories.....as though her appearance there, dressed finally as herself, and for the first time dressed that way in the face of her greatest fears...had changed nothing...not a single thing. Nothing was lost. Nothing.
Love is still love.
And sometimes, as a dear friend once said to me, when you find yourself surrounded by awesome people, chances are you are one of them.
Here's to my friend Chelsea...one of the “baddest” friends I have and one of the most awesome people I know.