Why aren't more people staring at me?

[KymberlyOct]

I haven't posted for awhile but since yesterday was my first day of full transition I thought I would share. A little bit is self congratulatory but more so I hope that those that are struggling with transition whether it be deciding if they should or just starting to prepare or even afraid to do it you are the ones I want to talk to.

So I intentionally scheduled yesterday to be a fun day. Scheduled a hair appointment and followed that with an eyebrow appointment. figured if I am doing this I might as well look as good as possible. But the real message is that if you are struggling with fear believe me you can overcome it. I am still nervous in public and I have been part time since last June. Now it is 24 7 365 no hiding. And although it is only day 2 I swear it gets easier. I went to an appointment at a very crowded hospital today. No angry villagers no pitchforks. No one even looked twice at me and I don't pass. I am going to update my profile pic momentarily as proof with a pic from today.

So after the hospital I went to Target for 90 minutes of shopping. It was crowded. Yeah I got a few looks but not very many. And the staff that assisted me were very nice. This type of post is common..... went out ... everything went well.... blah blah.

What I want to get across is that no matter how scared you are I guarantee you are not more scared than I used to be. If you feel the need to do this of course see a therapist and do the smart things but also plan ahead, pace yourself, baby steps but do not stop moving forward. Its early on but I am so glad I did this, and next week my name will legally be Kim. YAY

[kimdl93]

Hi Kimberly....isn't it just our nature to feel self conscious and expect more scrutiny than the world has time to give us? I'm glad to hear that full time suits you so well and that you're thus far evading angry villagers. Hard to imagine angry Minnesotan's but I spose there are some of them too, then.

[MarieTS]

Good points for consideration, Kimberly. Thanks for your perspective, and hang in there and enjoy what you've always dreamed of! ��

[grace7777]

Kimberly, I hope that your transition continues to go well for you. It does get easier the more you go out in public.

Grace

[AlyssaJ]

Kimberly, your post is great and it points to a lesson I think many of us have to learn. I'm slowly learning it myself. How to go out, just be you, and focus on the things you can control. We can't control how others will react anyway so why get anxious about it. Your story also gives me some encouragement, I'm going to be spending a weekend in the city with my sisters. It's going to be my first real extended RLE (4 days, full female presentation, no safety nets). So hearing how well things have gone for you sets my mind even more at ease.

Good for you, congrats on the success!!

[Megan G]

Good for you Kim, without a doubt we can be our own worse enemies when it comes to fear and that comes from a lifetime of living in a closet "worrying about X,Y&Z" and giving ourselves reasons why we can't do this.

The world is not as scary as everyone thinks it might be....

Best of luck as you continue down your path...

Megs...

[KymberlyOct]

Thanks everyone. Lisa if you are like me you will be nervous I remember my first multiple day RLE. It is scary, but then afterward the feeling of 'I'm so glad I did that" replaces the fear. And every time gets easier. I am about to do another post discussing my views about moving forward toward full time. I hope it will be helpful as that is the reason I am doing it.
Kim