Confidence building - Dressing as a way of peacocking

[Nicole_in_Texas]

For those of you that don't know, peacocking is a term invented from the pick up artist world as a way of standing out w outlandish clothing & accessories to draw attention to yourself. Credit to Neil Strauss' book the Game featuring Mystery. The theory is to draw attention to yourself so you standout to everyone. If everyone in the room is looking at you & you remain cool & moderately interesting w all the attention you become more attractive & desirable. Some of the recommended accessories actually incorporate aspects of CD'ing, i.e. painted nails, eye liner, feather boas, the color pink, etc. I actually incorporated this into my outfits going out in my 20s & younger 30s, wearing excessive rings & necklaces, Mardi Gras beads a couple times, but nothing CD'ing at the time.

As I've recently started experimenting running errands while dressed I find myself striving for this appearance & recognizing the opportunity. If I mix in CD'ing w other parts of my men's wardrobe I have in my mind this cool unique image. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. As long as you have confidence in yourself that's all that matters.

in the end I leave the wig, dress, dangly earrings, etc. at home. Instead opting for my blue jeans & short men's haircut. However I'm getting really comfortable experimenting w combining my girly appearance... subtle eye liner & lip gloss or even lip stick, pink nails, ladies shirt or blouse. The real kicker is whether I'm putting in my breast forms underneath.

[DeeArel]

If you wear any splash of bright color today, you tend to standout compared to most others as subdued shades, earth tones, and black appear to be the colors of choice for the masses.

[Stacy Darling]

I'm Here, I'm more of a Lyre bird Though!

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Surely it all depends on what sexual vibe you project? Right now I'm guessing most people would assume you are gay or bi, purely from a visual point of view, so you'd have to cut to the chase pretty quickly if it's a pick-up you're looking for.

Just looking interesting might be a conversation point, but unless it's backed up with the right messages it just makes you a novelty. Using the breast forms is probably not a great idea.

[sweetdreams]

So is this working for you. What kind of attention are you getting and from who?

[docrobbysherry]

Not sure that "dressing to blend" or androgenous looks r peacocking, Nicole. But, if u feel good about yourself dressed that way when out? That's what counts!

This is how I prefer to "peacock".

IMG_1281 (493x640).jpg

[sometimes_miss]

For those of you that don't know, peacocking is a term invented from the pick up artist world as a way of standing out w outlandish clothing & accessories to draw attention to yourself. Credit to Neil Strauss' book the Game featuring Mystery..

Mystery was also a magician, And he was quite tall, and added a top hat to make himself stand out even more. He would hire a limosine to take him to a bar, wearing shoes with a heel & the top hat, then hold court by doing tricks to entertain those around him. So he had physical size and performance talent to show off as well. And he had money. All those things will get you attention from women, & dates, no matter what else you wear. When you read Strauss' book The Game there are many examples where it's clear that they're also using other ways of getting women to think that they're rich. THAT's the draw. You can peacock all you want, but without the resources to back it up, eventually those women will disappear, and you'll be thought of as just another eccentric....or rather, just crazy. When you're rich, you're an eccentric. When you're poor, you're just crazy. Confidence comes from knowing that you're worth another's interest....even if you aren't, to that particular person you're trying to impress. The very interesting thing I noticed a long time ago, was women who would complain about a guy who was 'full of himself'; yet, they would date and marry him anyway.

Confidence. Leadership skills. Knowledge. And, of course, doing things that indicate you have $$$$ (whether you have money or not, as long as people think that you do). Gets you interest and respect.

[williamthegreat]

I think PUAs are lame and look ridiculous. Do their tactics actually work?

[Nicole_in_Texas]

So is this working for you. What kind of attention are you getting and from who?

I think PUAs are lame and look ridiculous. Do their tactics actually work?

It's all about the attitude, which is why the title of this thread is confidence building. I didn't start this thread to talk about picking up girls, although since a couple of you mentioned it I will say a few things. First of all I'm not going to pretend I was a lady killer or Don Juan, but I was somewhat successful at going to bars and being sociable and attracting girls while incorporating some pick up artist methods. I relished whatever extra attention I got from dressing slightly eccentric. I wore a bunch of rings and necklaces, Affliction t-shirts, and jeans with dragons and holes in them. However, it's more about practice than simply putting on a particular outfit. You've got to be good at being social, then it doesn't matter what you're wearing and that is my hypothesis. Forget about picking up girls, a lot of us just want to be able to dress and be socially accepted. Peacocking is a way of standing out and getting attention you wouldn't necessarily have gotten. What do you do with that attention though? If you try and practice (and fail) you eventually get comfortable in your own skin.

I think we all know it is not cool by society's norms for a man to put on makeup and wear a dress and go out in public. The goal of peacocking is to embrace the eccentricities and use it to your advantage. Before I go out dressed I think to myself where am I going and what kind of image do I want to project? That way when the girl says "I like your glitter" or "You look pretty in pink" I can smile and genuinely say thank you, "I've been practicing this look"

Lexi, I don't know if you read the book or not, it doesn't matter. But if you did you would know that Mystery wasn't successful just because he was tall and painted his nails and put on a top hat. I don't know if he has ever had money, and he didn't have a tv show when the book was published. He studied and practiced his craft and failed miserably. It was only later that he added the accessories and outlandish character. You're right about confidence, leadership skills, etc. Those are things that are universally attractive, not money. Not to say there aren't gold diggers out there, but if you have those universally attractive character traits it doesn't matter. Not having money for a lot of people is just an excuse. I'm not projecting that attitude on you, but I don't want anyone else to get discouraged from being the best they're capable of.

[Nicole_in_Texas]

Surely it all depends on what sexual vibe you project? Right now I'm guessing most people would assume you are gay or bi, purely from a visual point of view, so you'd have to cut to the chase pretty quickly if it's a pick-up you're looking for.

Just looking interesting might be a conversation point, but unless it's backed up with the right messages it just makes you a novelty. Using the breast forms is probably not a great idea.

It doesn't matter if they think you're gay. Actually it is the opposite as far as cutting to the chase. There is even a story about one guys technique of sometimes saying, 'if I wasn't gay...' Then you're not even on the market so everything you do is not to impress her. Think about it in the real world too. If you've ever met a cute girl that you later find out is a lesbian... you'd still pursue her if you later thought she was in to you. Same thing w girls.

NOTE: I'm not trying to pretend or project the image that I'm a pick up artist. I'm just a normal dude, for better or worse. I feel kind of like a douchebag even talking about some of this. I do sincerely think you can incorporate some kind of feminine appearance & be accepted and the proof is the pick up artist world where they do some of this stuff even though they aren't even CD.