Starting over post divorce as a transgendered cross dresser

[Trysha]

I was wondering how many members here have been through a divorce after few or many years
of marriage which partly was caused by your spouse not accepting your dressing, and how they dealt with moving to a new town where they had to rebuild their life, and deal with the emotional
pain of loneliness, depression, and trying to be a happy crossdersser/transgendered individual.

[sweetdreams]

Hi Trysha. Sorry to hear about your current situation.

I've posted most of my history in another thread. Here is a link to it: https://www.crossdressers.com/forums...#post4060442);

Although my divorce wasn't as a result of my crossdressing, I did have to deal with it as I started to build new relationships.

Hope this helps.

[Trysha]

Thanks so much..

[Jean 103]

yes Trysha I have. One year ago this month, I moved into a three bedroom house with two roommates. I am known as Jean, a crossdressing-TG person.

[JenniferMBlack]

Not related to crossdressing but divorced and moved across country. I looked at it as a new oprrtunity, to find myself and know what i wanted. I wasnt really lookimg for a relatuonship ot just sort of happened. The bonus on thay was she had already seen me dressed before we started dateing, and we had those conversations as well. So there wasnt any surprises and no when do I tell her because she alreasy knew.

[barbara gordon]

You can look at it as an opportunity to really be who you want to be . it is definitely a difficult place to be for anyone, but there are freedoms that you probably were wishing you had but didn't while you were married .

[biannne]

I spend six year in marriage that my spouse would not support or even acknowledge my transgender after we divorce I am became a a full time CD and now I am TG Woman.

[AllieSF]

Anyone coming out of a divorce can have some very trying moments to start over, locally or in some other locale. Many here have reported in the past that they felt much better over time as they got through that initial grief and rebuilding period, and may even still be loving friends with their ex-spouses. Some are still bitter. Some carry their problems forward and continue to have issues for a long time. The main point is we have to take those steps necessary to live and recover in body and soul, even if they are one laborious step after another. I do wish you the best. Thigns usually always get better. They did for me.

[alwayshave]

Trysha, I have been divorced for more than a decade after 16 years years of marriage. The divorce was not due to CDing, but just a loveless marriage. Well not loveless, she loved my money, still does. It took me about 7 years to recover financially. The biggest loss was my children, I have not seen them in years. I now have moved away from where they live, its just easier.

[Trysha]

I posted this because I thought it was an important issue to talk about. I have been divorced for a few years now
and it was really rough at first. I have come a long way, and there is the benefit of having the freedom to express
myself more openly than when I was married. I think anyone who has suffered a divorce has more than earned the
right to express their feminine side and have a whole new life opened to them.Thank you for all your positive comments.

[Pattie]

Sometimes being with no one is better than being with the wrong one.
Those who fly solo have the strongest wings.
That's all I have to say, why I am still solo.

[sometimes_miss]

When we went to therapy trying to save our marriage, my wife admitted that had she known I ever crossdressed, she never would have married me. I should have known then that our marriage was doomed. And so it was three years later. It was sort of a 'perfect storm' situation, where everything that could, went wrong. In retrospect I understand her initial decision, but mostly blame the folks in her 'CD spouses' support groups that fostered an adversarial relationship between the two of us, telling her things about me that weren't true (indicated by her 'They said you'd say that). Like many women, the concept of being in love with a man who she now saw as feminine was a sexual turn off for her, so the marriage was pretty much over at that point. She still wanted to have children, an simply didn't see it happening with me. The support groups that she went to continued ever increasing presence in her life caused her to believe that not only me, but her family (her mom was an alcoholic, and she blamed her father and brothers for enabling that mom) to be seen as her enemies. It got so bad that she actually accused me of marrying her in order to ruin her life. Then she blackmailed me during the divorce, by threatening to out me to my friends, family and everyone at work. It was a disaster for me, and left me quite depressed (both financially and emotionally) for many years after the divorce. I moved about 30 miles away, hoping to avoid any accidental contact with her. New neighbors, new town, new job. Just in case she got greedy and decided to try to blackmail me for more; I tried to stay low key and avoid her in every way I could. It worked, I haven't had any dealings with her since.

More info about my life is in my bio. The link is in the sig at the bottom of my posts.

[Trysha]

Thanks so much for your reply.

[Teresa]

Trysha,
I came close to separation , both my wife and I had started to make basic plans if it happened.

My plan was to move away and do a basic teaching course so I could run my own art group, I would have dressed more or less full time certainly when running a painting group. I was beginning to think it through how I would approach the hurdle of being dressed full time , that idea still appeals to me, who knows it may become more than just a dream.
I guess the major problem is funding yourself as the changes happen, money doesn't bring happiness but if it restricts you social life it can be too easy to fall into the cycle of not going out and becoming introvert and possibly depressed.
I do feel for people who have gone through this especially because of CDing, we can't help what is inside our heads, most of us suffer through it at times but to lose your marriage is hard to accept .

I wish you all the best and hope things improve for you .

[Jaymees22]

Like some others here I divorced my first wife but not because of my dressing, I wasn't even thinking of it then. I remarried and am in a much better marriage now. So even though my present wife isn't crazy about my dressing we are working through it slowly. People I have met in support group are divorced and part of the problem was the transgender issues. They also say they are much happier now even if they have to be alone and are having some money problems. Just living as their true selves seems to be the most important thing. Hugs Jaymee

[Dana44]

Yeah I had a divorce a few years ago. But it wasn't because of cross dressing. She was spending my money on men she was cheating with. So I divorced her. Now I am with a GF that does accept me to cross dress.

[Sharon B.]

It's been over twenty-fives ago since my divorce she used the cross-dressing as the fault but it was more then that. I moved away about thirty miles, now I dress whenever I feel like it. I also keep my body hair-free year around. I would like to say I am out and about but I'm not, I'm still in the closet but have venture out a few times. I have no problem going out under-dressed as a woman. I much prefer wearing woman's deodorant and perfume all of the time. Not really looking but if it happen the woman would have to be open minded about my need to cross-dress now and then.

[Trysha]

Thank you all . Speaking of hair free year round, I had a full body with Brazillian Wax today. It feels amazing.
I have a wonderful esthetician who fully supports cross dressing and advised me to wear ladies boot cut jeans
and a nice pair of booties with it. It's not the first time woman have given me support.
I love you all...

[Devone]

Barbara , really liked your comment about being free to explore your crossdressing freedoms that were not available when married. Devone

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Hang in there Kim , its something thats part of your make-up and its not going away. Maybe you will find an understanding women or another CD to share your life with.Devone

[JenniferMBlack]

Dana44 siunds like we had the same problem. My ex was a cheating ***** who would take my money to spend in or with her "Friends". So what if she was a loose door knob and everyome got a turn.

For the record i didnt move across cointry just to get away frim her I also wanted out of the drozen northeast. I just had no obligation to stay there any longer
I no lomger hold hard feelings or feelings of any lind towards her. We were not compatible and it just didnt work out.

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Dana44 siunds like we had the same problem. My ex was a cheating who would take my money to spend in or with her "Friends". So what if she was a loose door knob and everyome got a turn.

For the record i didnt move across cointry just to get away frim her I also wanted out of the drozen northeast. I just had no obligation to stay there any longer
I no lomger hold hard feelings or feelings of any lind towards her. We were not compatible and it just didnt work out.