Why is it so mindblowing to feel Pretty and want to be a girl

[sarah378619]

This is a philosopical question and a frustration too. Why is it so earthshaking that female thoughts and feelings come from the brain not body parts? A GG woman can be F to Male and it is accepted. A girl can hate dresses and dress male. But let the earth open up and shake if a genetic male feels female and wants to dress how she ferls in her heart and her brain? I know it is better than it used to be. But the double standard still frustrates me at times. Not that it is easier to be F to M instead of M to F. It just seems more looked down upon to want to be female. I think they are equal. Just looking for opinions. Not wanting to offend anyone.
Sarah

[Rachael Leigh]

Sarah, not sure there is an answer, the nature of clothing and who can wear what or look like what is usually cultural but it's
just not something I think those of us will ever get. And consider the number is very small, those of us who dress or are actually transgended

[Alisonforme]

The social norms about gender roles run very strong and visceral with people. If you're a man and present yourself in an unmanly way, you immediately become a target for ridicule. Something about crossing that girly line is very difficult for many people to accept. While it feels perfectly natural to me (us), it is very foreign to even more people.

The typical male is not going to understand that shaving my legs and applying lotion after polishing my toe nails leaves me in a wonderfully relaxed state. Nor will he care that opening up my world to a female perspective helps me understand humanity and be more empathetic, especially to those in vulnerable positions.

You're absolutely right that it is frustrating.

[PaulaQ]

A GG woman can be F to Male and it is accepted. A girl can hate dresses and dress male. But let the earth open up and shake if a genetic male feels female and wants to dress how she ferls in her heart and her brain?

1. Most women don't wear men's clothes. They may wear jeans or slacks or blouses that styled after men's pants and shirts, but they are designed a little differently. (Example - try to use the pockets in women's jeans - they are useless!)

2. Women used to get in trouble for wearing "masculine" attire. They fought for acceptance of wearing pants and stuff over time. Women stood up and fought for loosening of clothing restrictions.

3. Trans men have it easier in the sense that nobody freaks out if they present masculine - at worst someone thinks they are a butch lesbian. The downside to this is that unlike trans women, where if you look like a man in a dress, nobody has any doubts what you are trying to convey, it's harder for a trans guy to communicate gender identity through clothing. So they get in less trouble - but they are also, starting out, to just be thought of as a chubby lesbian, which is NOT what they want!

4. Trans men aren't accepted much better than trans women - it's just most of them pass really easy. The default gender assumption is male. Put a deep voice and facial hair on a dude, and he passes. More trans guys pass than trans women, but I do know guys who've been on T for 5 years and still read "chubby lesbian."

5. So why is a man in a dress such a big deal? Misogyny, transphobia and homophobia. Also, men haven't fought very hard to change gender norms. But why would they? Crossdressers stay closeted, and cisgender guys rule the world. Why would they want to change anything? Women have less status than men. The powers that be want to keep it that way, and having a man appear to want to take a position of lesser status is not in the program. The idea that they might be attracted to a trans woman disturbs a lot of men.

More of y'all coming out and being visible would help. The more gender non-conforming people are visible, the more tolerance we'll get, over time. So you want this to be different? Stand up and fight for it. Lots of us are.

[TrishaTX]

I agree it is a bit off but changing. there are many more of us "out" there and I know personally I go out enough. Its gonna take time and patience for all of us.

[Trysha]

I think that many people in our society view cross dressing as bad because of a reaction to
their social conditioning and their ego's which define who they are. Instead of seeing a male in a
dress as an expression of freedom to be as you want, it is seen as an assault on the social fabric of what they think
people are "supposed to be like" and therefore are making them uncomfortable. I remember Jimi Hendrix
said in his song "If 6 was 9, "I'm the one who's gotta die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life,
the way I want to". Who could have said it better than that.

[sometimes_miss]

This has been discussed here many times. Historically, ftm posed no threat to the society which the person lived in. However, a male who took on the female attributes would be suspect of becoming submissive, essentially endangering fellow soldiers during defense of the society. One gap in a defensive position could endanger the entire group of men. Also, behaving feminine could indicate homosexuality, which, if occuring with other soldiers, could endanger the rest of the group if he abandoned his position to go to his lover. These feelings, prevelant over so many generations, might even be in our dna, or at least, the potential for it.

[sweetdreams]

I wonder if part of the problem isn't because of the drag queen genre. Drag queens (not that there's anything wrong with it) are over the top. It has become what some part of the population thinks of when you mention crossdressing. It also comes from a time when crossdressing was considered perverted (i.e. the connotations that seem to follow the label Transvestite).

I also wonder if male crossdressing prostitutes might play a role as well.

The female population doesn't have the equivalent of either of these.

The other part is that we don't always take the time to put in a reasonable effort to look feminine. This results in someone trying to take on the characteristics of being a woman but taking the easy way.

It's also challenging to take a typical male body and make it feminine. We tend to be big, muscular, and hairy. This isn't an easy task a lot of times. It's a bit like putting a gorilla in a bikini. Take a boy prior to puberty and it's fairly easy to dress them like a girl. After the testosterone kicks in it gets more difficult. Mother nature doesn't do us any favors as we age either. She figures we don't need hair on the top of our heads anymore, let's put it on their backs, ears, and noses. Ewwww....

I think if a crossdresser takes the time to do what women do to get presentable, there is a lot more acceptance.

[Ashley090]

Simply put "Why guys cant want look pretty too?" Everytime when somewhere on internet is topic about men shaving all bodyhair, or using cosmetics products like creams and all more "girly" stuff, then general opinion is "no we want rough hairy dudes, not feminine ones". I am always like "wut crap is that?!" why i should not shave whatever i want, take care of my body, shape my eyebrow and do all that stuff that USUALY is more asociated to girls? I never get why guys are expect to be rought, dominant, play tought and so on. Screw that.

[Rachel Toni]

It's variety for me. "Traditional" male appearance is rather dull and limited. Female expression allows me to wear anything I want and reflect my mood.

I can dress to be sophisticated, the girl next door, the professional woman, glamorous, the hot date, relaxed, trashy., etc.

The clothes, make-up, wigs are great expression. I have to wear trousers, shirt, jumper all the time during the day...so boring.

[reinasblack]

Men use to wear high heels and dresses.
Different social norms.


http://www.todayifoundout.com/index....-before-women/

BBC NEWS:Why did men stop wearing high heels?

Why did men stop wearing high heels?

Men and heels

The Vision of Saint Eustace, Pisanello, 1438–1442. Rider wearing high heels.
Elizabeth Semmelhack, curator for the Bata Shoe Museum, traces the high heel to male horse-riding warriors in the Middle East who used high heels for functionality, because they help hold the rider's foot in stirrups. She states that the earliest high heel she has seen is depicted on a 9th-century AD ceramic bowl from Persia


https://evolution-institute.org/blog...re-high-heels/

[Teresa]

Sarah,
As you say it's all locked up in the brain, I see my situation as a combination lock that no one has the code to , it's never going to be broken !

Finally coming to terms with that thought I knew things had to change, hiding behind closed doors , peering round curtains, going into a panic when you hear a car door, dreading your stash of clothes being found , the list goes on . We have to justify all that because our brains have at times a need we can't control, I've lived it 24/7 for so many years I had to get counselling help . I no longer worry who knows about my CDing because it isn't going to change what's inside my head, the best thing I did was to go out the door and meet others socially. It has brought balance and meaning to my dressing, I no longer have concerns about passing, I do my best with the resources I have, I'm now being accepted either dressed or by using my pictures. That feeling of the double standard that you feel has left me , I don't feel it's unfair anymore , I don't think which gender is more equal, I'm just me when I go out, so far it hasn't been a problem.

[Lana Mae]

Acceptance is hard for both m-f and f-m regardless and of course depends on circumstances! My daughter's one friend is f-m and his mother disowned him and threw him out! It ain't easy for either. Trysha thanks for the Jimi Hendrix reference! (Big fan!) Hugs Lana Mae

[Beverley Sims]

Probably social attitudes and the forbidden fruit syndrome.

What was mind blowing for me was the stark difference in appearance when I applied makeup and a wig.

[Geena Gee]

Once upon a time, way before any of us were around, there were people, male and female wearing the same outer-garments. They called them togas, or robes. Fashion week must have been really boring in the ancient Greek and Roman Empire's times. To distinguish between the sexes, women began to adorn themselves with flowers in their hair, and used coloration from crushed berries on their cheeks. In some cultures, women were required to cover their heads, and forbidden from the adornment. However, the FAD caught on, and evolved.
I wonder if those ancient fashions would be acceptable to wear in our modern age? (Frat parties don't count!)

-Geena

[ReineD]

A GG woman can be F to Male and it is accepted.

Oh no it's not. Transmen are also excluded from their families for getting mastectomies and taking hormones to change their voices and grow beards. Intolerance for people changing their sex can exist whether the person was born male OR female.

A girl can hate dresses and dress male.

This is a different matter. First, girls who wear pants, plaid shirts, sneakers, etc, are not dressing male. They are dressing as contemporary females. They buy their clothes in women's stores. Very few women wear dresses any more, unless they do so for special occasions. If you're asking why haven't more men adopted wearing skirts? Likely because they are less practical than pants. It's easier to be active (reach for stuff, bend over, etc) when one is wearing pants.

One thing you may not be considering is the fact that many young people are now discarding gendered boxes for dressing and they're dressing all the same in unisex clothing, with unisex haircuts, unisex accessories, etc, and this is perfectly well accepted.