Hello all. I have listed here a few times. I have been a long time crossdresser and very happy about that. I have had a lot of ups and downs when it comes to being trans or transitioning. I have mostly described myself as being gender fluid with two distinct sides to myself. There are several times I have felt very much like I want more but unsurety causes me not to act. I am honestly afraid of what transitioning could cost me. And while I feel I could be happy with my results after transition I don't know that I can afford to do it in the circumstances I would need to be happy. The last year (I turned 30) I have grown more masculine in a few ways. My face looks more mature and I'm growing much more facial/body hair it's really upsetting. I haven't felt disphoria to this extent before. I'm beginning to think that I am perhaps just a masculine woman but I dislike not being able to present a feminist image. For my over all mental health I have been on antidepressants for a few months. Specifically ones that will help me relax and not obsess on things. They have greatly helped to quiet my
Mind. And I find myself looking more optimisticly in the direction of transition. I'm not sure yet but I wondered if anyone else felt this way after being medicated.