Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 50

Thread: why do you crossdresser

  1. #1
    New Member NINA DRAGONBORN's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    8

    why do you crossdresser

    why i asked this question over and over again of my self and i found out that there is a female in other half of me and she is strong as my male part but she is afraid to show her self and as i my self always respected almost any female i have seen in my life i let her free from the prison my half male has made for her so she never can get out i broke those prison to set her free

    and i believe she is as strong as my male part and that is the reason i have start crossdressing

    but i understand this only in past 4 years

    but i am crossdressing since i was 6 and before 4 years ago i did not understand why i keep doing this but i know the truth about my self

    no one can tell me you even do not know why you doing this

    i wonder were and why the others start this journey into another mysterious world ?


    mystery.jpg

  2. #2
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    13,082
    Nina,
    Where do we start ? You have to accept we are all individuals and have different reasons for doing it . To some it's sexual to others it's a deep desire to go forward and become the woman they desperately want to be.

    I still say you need to think clearly how it started , in my case it's crucially important because how it began was the start of my GD. I know I was born with a female trait which like you is as strong or even stronger than my male side , I also know now I have AGP , to me it's the flesh on the bones of GD, it has finally explained so many things.

    Knowing all these things and discovering what label fits is fine , it allows us to explain it to ourselves and then hopefully to others , but knowing is only part of the equation we then have to find ways of dealing with it on a daily basis and work with others that aren't so accepting.

    The bottom line is most of us are born like it, it may ebb and flow but it will be with you the rest of your life. Once you accept that you have to work on ways to stop hiding and feeling guilty and ashamed. We shouldn't feel like that or be made to feel like it, when it's something we can't change, it's locked in our heads we have to live it to come to terms with it. We also my have to accept professional help if we can't find our way through it, I finally know what makes me tick but it's almost too late for me now, I'm trying to make the most of and enjoy it, I don't know how long this window will be open to me . OK I'm in a DADT situation with my wife , she just doesn't want to see me , so I have had to work round that situation , I accpet i live a double life and so does my wife to a degree now.

    We will never have all the answers, some just accept it and live it others need to know what makes them tick, I'm in the latter camp, being born male and living most of my life male creates a big question as to why a man would want to dress in women's clothes, it really is a complex subject .
    Last edited by Teresa; 03-16-2017 at 06:57 AM.

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    Alberta, CA
    Posts
    229
    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    We will never have all the answers, some just accept it and live it others need to know what makes them tick, I'm in the latter camp, being born male and living most of my life male creates a big question as to why a man would want to dress in women's clothes, it really is a complex subject .
    Nice response Teresa.

    For me I've given up on finding the why. Nobody has ever been able to come up with a reasonable answer. So I choose to accept and go with the flow. It's a part of me. I'm just looking for a comfortable groove where it can be a part of my life (dare I say a special part of my life). It's just me. Unusual yes but that doesn't make it wrong. I'm looking for ways to be me with a minimal amount of discomfort. I want my girly side and to enjoy it.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Lowestoft UK. Beverley was here.
    Posts
    30,955
    As your question suggests, Idon't really know the answer either. :-)
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  5. #5
    Silver Member ClosetED's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Posts
    3,017
    Welcome to the Forum. Good question for your first post.
    No one here can give you the correct answer for you. And you will find several opinions presented - use what seems to work for you. There are different labels, which can vary in meaning, that can be offered. There are "heterosexual crossdressers" - people who fell they are male, but have this strong desire to express femininity. And this may be geneticically predisposed to this. There are transsexuals - people who are born with one genetic gender, but who in their mind are the opposite gender. They desire surgery to correct this error and affirm their mental gender There are those who are gender-fluid who may go back and forth as to mentally which gender they are.
    Teresa used AGP - autogynephilia- which can mean that you love the idea of yourself as a woman, but does not explain why. She also used DADT - don't ask don't tell - when your spouse doesn't want to know what you are doing but knows you crossdress. GD-gender dysphoria - you do not feel right about your gender.
    There are those who crossdress for sexual gratification.

    So some common reasons to consider - for sexual release, for matching your mental gender, for love of the feminine, for being confused yourself about which gender, or the ever popular: I don't know why and don't care-it makes me happy.
    Hugs, Ellen

  6. #6
    Banned Spammer
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Posts
    22,257
    Teresa summed it up pretty well so I can't add to that.
    The esoteric imagery like freeing her from the prison my half male has put her in is a bit lofty and poetic.
    It sounds like you haven't accepted yourself yet so maybe you should work on that aspect.
    The reason why you or anyone does it doesn't really mean anything.
    You do it because you enjoy it and it makes you feel good.
    To dig into the reasons why only leads to more questions that you will never find an answer for.
    That only leads to depression ,doubt and other personal problems with friends and family that don't understand.

  7. #7
    Member wanda66's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    va.
    Posts
    313
    Fo me it's a up and down situation. Sometimes it's asexual need othe times it's as far from sex as you can get .like now ,iam dressed and all lady . I've been crossdressing for 60 years ,all i know is that from time to time wanda has to surface and express herself. It's purely a personal and private situation i seldom venture out in public, but have a few times.
    I dont have questions any more ,i am who i am and that's it . The why dose not matter.....it took me 60 years to call myself a crossdresser the time for questions is over. Enjoy

  8. #8
    Member StephanieM's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2016
    Location
    Tallahassee
    Posts
    216
    For me I am a hybrid, I'm part man and part woman. When I'm dressed I feel like I am expressing the woman inside me. Other times I feel like the man I was born as.

  9. #9
    If only dreams came true. susancheerleader's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Maine USA
    Posts
    655
    For me.
    I cross dress because men's clothing is very thick and uncomfortable. For example jeans. Why are men's jeans so thick, and women's so thin... making them more comfortable.
    Not to mention the different styles of clothing.
    Dress, blouse, t shirt, tank top, skirt, ....
    what do men have?
    A tux for dressing up. No options
    Pants and shirts.
    Whoopie!
    Women's clothing is so much more comfortable then men's. And such a better verity

  10. #10
    Aspiring Artist Kelly DeWinter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Location
    Wherever there is a Sale or Macys, but mostly Baltimore MD
    Posts
    3,368
    I've pondered this question for many years and i'm no closer to answering this then i was at the start.
    Kelly DeWinter
    Find Kelly at:
    Kelly's Blog
    Flicker
    [COLOR=#2e8b57

  11. #11
    A Usual Suspect LaurenDeHart's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    Washington DC Metro Area
    Posts
    207
    I told my wife that I could not explain it. She replied that I didn't have to. All I can say is ... because it makes me feel good and at inner resolution. OK, I promise ... no more Zen stuff from me

  12. #12
    Long Isnad, NY BLACK STOCKINGS's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Shirley, Long Island, NY
    Posts
    408
    Cause I can....
    Just a girl fronm Long Island, NY .... always looking to meet others from my area.

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member ronda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    southeastern Pa
    Posts
    884
    the answer is we were born this way our wires got crossed while we were in the oven
    hugs
    Ronda

  14. #14
    Member Trione's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Location
    Central Tx
    Posts
    175
    Why not crossdress, woman have been doing it for years. plus skirts are cheaper then kilts.

  15. #15
    Stop that, it's silly.... DIANEF's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    TEHRAN
    Posts
    2,274
    Because I want to. Stopped asking myself why a long time ago.
    Here today, gone tomorrow....

  16. #16
    Member Diane Taylor's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    343
    I believe that the whole idea about "crossdressing" or being a "crossdresser" are terms that have come about because society has attached GENDER to clothing. From birth we are programmed to think that dresses are feminine, skirts are feminine, nylons are feminine, certain hairstyles are feminine, makeup is feminine, etc. etc. and that certain types of clothing and hairstyles are masculine. If, from the time we were born there was no gender attached to those things and we were allowed to choose what styles we would wear, there would be a lot of males who would choose skirts over pants, longer hair styles, makeup and other things we now consider feminine.Too many of us knock ourselves out trying to conform to what society dictates but then feeling guilty about what we choose to do when we don't conform.
    Some attach labels to themselves in order to justify dressing in "female" clothing but if there was no gender attached we could wear whatever we liked without feeling guilty or being subjected to ridicule.

  17. #17
    Banned Spammer
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Posts
    22,257
    Quote Originally Posted by Trione View Post
    Why not crossdress, woman have been doing it for years. plus skirts are cheaper then kilts.
    And what do you mean by this statement?

  18. #18
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    24,843
    Nina, it was posts much like yours, when I first arrived here, that had me waiting expectantly for my "fem side" to appear.

    After waiting for years, I SOLVED that mystery. I don't have a fem side!

    But, I discovered crossdressing is much like life. It's NOT about solving mysteries. It's about our JOURNEY!

    P1160041 (590x640).jpg
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  19. #19
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    The state of flux, U.S.A.
    Posts
    7,213
    I figured it out. You can, too. But you have to abandon your prejudices, and be willing to accept what you find.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  20. #20
    Silver Member darla_g's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    terrapin station, you need to guess a little bit
    Posts
    3,664
    I used to very contemplative when i first joined here about why i dressed and what it meant and why i did it.

    After a while i decided it just didn't matter. I liked it, I wasn't hurting anyone and my spouse accepted it. I became much happier once i was no longer conflicted.

  21. #21
    Silver Member paulaprimo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    new york
    Posts
    3,218
    pretty simple for me, the very same reason that i have to breathe...
    paula

  22. #22
    The Anima Corrupt Wen4cd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Outer Trannysylvania
    Posts
    948
    That's a cool first post, Nina Dragonborn!

    Hope you and your other half have a happy union and a prosperous life together.
    And so we go, on with our lives...
    We know the Truth, but prefer Lies.
    Lies are simple, simple is Bliss.
    Why go against tradition, when we can admit defeat,
    Live in Decline, be the victim of our own design?

  23. #23
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Location
    Greater Houston
    Posts
    3,041
    Quote Originally Posted by sometimes_miss View Post
    I figured it out. You can, too. But you have to abandon your prejudices, and be willing to accept what you find.
    Truer words have never been spoken, Lexi. You have to accept yourself before you can embrace yourself, and until you can do that without reservation, real happiness is difficult.

  24. #24
    New "old" girl Suzie Petersen's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    I am lost, and I like it. Don't find me!
    Posts
    1,044
    Diane Taylor: If, from the time we were born there was no gender attached to those things and we were allowed to choose what styles we would wear, there would be a lot of males who would choose skirts over pants, longer hair styles, makeup and other things we now consider feminine.
    Yes, choice of clothing would likely be very different if we did not associate any particular things with gender.
    But, I suspect that even though you often hear crossdressers explain the desire to dress in womens clothes with "The clothes is just so much nicer" or "fits better" or "more colors and choices" what really drive most is the Forbidden Fruit about it, and/or the thrill of assuming the whole role of a woman with not just the clothes, but the body shape, the manors, the whole package.
    While some female clothing is certainly softer or more colorful etc, there are plenty of male clothes that qualify for that too, yet that just doesnt cut it for most of us. Thats not really what it is about.

    - Suzie

  25. #25
    New Member NINA DRAGONBORN's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Posts
    8
    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    Nina,
    Where do we start ? You have to accept we are all individuals and have different reasons for doing it . To some it's sexual to others it's a deep desire to go forward and become the woman they desperately want to be.

    ...
    i love to understand other people
    believe me when you are yourself you are in strongest position of your life
    i wish you all the luck in the world and a good life
    my sister

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Quote Originally Posted by Beverley Sims View Post
    As your question suggests, Idon't really know the answer either. :-)
    you will find the answer deep inside your soul and your spirit
    so try to understand your self my friend
    i know you can do that
    and stay strong

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    That only leads to depression ,doubt and other personal problems with friends and family that don't understand.

    Tracii G
    if you can not understand your self then you will not understand the world around you and why you are different then the others
    so get to your self spare some time to get to know your self otherwise you will be lost in this big universe with out understanding
    why i am like this
    and stay strong

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    @closeted


    good answer but try to understand the reason otherwise there will be more question then answer
    but i believe you have the answer right in your heart and know what is the reason and that is good so
    i believe you know your self
    and all kisses for you asddsaas.jpg

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    @wanda66

    you are wise and
    and i bow to your wisdom since i am sure you have a lot of understanding and knowledge in those years and if you can give me any advice i will be happy
    and i wish you all the goods in the world for you
    Last edited by Lorileah; 03-17-2017 at 10:45 PM. Reason: you don't need the whole quote to respond

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State