confirm my experience: increasing desire with age?

[ginapoodle]

All,

Thanks for so many kind and informative replies! Themes I hear: yes many do have increased interest in dressing, more opportunity exists, more self acceptance exists. Kids gone helps immensely, so does not dressing for professional work image.

Perhaps most important: not caring too much what others think. Hard one for me, to be sure. This is a very conservative area, and I have many extremely conservative (i.e. under-educated on gender issues and perhaps fearful) friends. I have heard more than once various GLBT bashing sentences. It hurts, but I do not respond.

Interesting that less testosterone might be a contributor? New one there on me.

Living in Houston, TX gives me pause on society acceptance though. This is not a very TG friendly town, or at least it is very erratic. I would have to be extremely careful dressing and then driving anywhere given many neighbors that know me well and a very unusual car.

I need some new clothes. Will work that concept. And makeup.

[Peggy Gardiner]

The 1988 book Transvestites and Transsexuals: Toward a Theory of Cross-Gender Behavior, has accounts from CDs that are the same as given here for dressing more and more as time goes by, some of them from studies conducted almost 50 years ago.

[Barbara Black]

I'm in the low 60's, and recently retired. Surely I want to dress more because of opportunity. But I think I also want to dress more because of advancing age and the wanting to dress how I'm comfortable and feel natural now that most of my life has seen very little dressing. I certainly want to do what I want to do, and to do it for me.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Gina, At age 74 and retired for 7yrs. now it just gets better all the time.

I dress for 4hrs. every Morning and a couple hours a couple evenings a week, Life if great......

[Becky Blue]

Well From 12 to 40 I was a very occasional CD with no fem persona and no urge to dress. At 40 almost overnight it changed, Becky emerged and dressing went from occasional fun to a need. Since then the last 12 years have seen the girl come and go, but there is a definite trend towards stronger desires. I put it down to a lowering of testosterone that has enabled the girl who has always been there to come out. Also perhaps some subconscious sense of missed opportunity, will it be too late....

[alwayshave]

I know for me at least, I care less what other people think. Plus becoming increasingly comfortable in my own skin.

[CONSUELO]

For me cross dressing has definitely progressed with age. What was initially more of a fetish, especially for lingerie, has morphed into full transvestism. When I look back at my younger transvestite self I see a completely different cross dresser. In some ways I wish I had had a full desire to be a cross dresser when younger as I would have known what was in me and perhaps have made some different decisions in life. The first time I dressed completely was in my late twenties and it was with a couple who were friends. She put on a wig and makeup for me and pronounced that I resembled Doris Day. As I was younger and very slim I wish that I had gone "whole hog" at that time as I would have had a lot of fun and a very different path through life.

Yet who knows. We all come to forks in the road of life and make decisions based on what we know and understand about ourselves at that time. One of the surprises of maturing is that we realize how little we knew of true selves.

[Teresa]

Gina,
I have to say that I was expecting the desire to diminish with age, so it has been a surprise I want it more than ever. I don't believe there's a single answer to it, to some it maybe because they have more time on their hands, or they have spare income that supports it. To me it's been suppressed so long and finally being able to bring it all together and be far more open about it has been a revelation. The other part of me has emerged , it's so good to be able to deal with the female needs in me , to go out and buy outfits that suit me and I enjoy wearing , to apply makeup and complete the picture with a wig and see Teresa emerge . I'm finally being seen as a woman and to some extent accepted as one and it feels so right.
My CDing started with a bang at the age 8-9 years and since then have lived with it 24/7, I know now I have GD which in my case is linked to AGP, at 65 I'm not sure what I can do about it, all I know is I would like to go full time and see where it leads .

My family all know , I'm in a DADT situation with my wife but my children are OK about it . It will be interesting to see what happens when the T level does finally fade but at the moment it hasn't shown any signs of dropping


I agree we don't know how long the window is open to us , the clock is ticking , being in the closet is not an option anymore.

[Joni T]

The desire MAY be stronger, it MAY not. There is no definitive answer. Everyone is different. Case in point-I am 62 and the desire to dress definitely comes less frequently than it did as early as 5 years ago.
Jon

[kelliT]

Yes, all the above- kids gone, more time a thought I have had many thoughts on as I too have wondered if there is an uptake in age. But have also taking things from a spiritual aspect, my truths are as follows. I'm am closer to the goddess in me today than ever before. My need leans toward the new moon, and I feel more comfortable in my masculine mode during the full moon. They say everything is in cycles so I've been watching closely. I wear things from an archetypal aspect. There is the soccer mom, entrepreneur and a few others I find comfort in when I need those aspects of myself. I try to not go to extremes, that we have in the past. Being fully transitioned and loving myself has made me more understanding through the experience, to love my male counterpart. I treat my dressing more sacred these days, and I could have never made the progress I have without the experience of crossdressing

[Stephanie47]

Yes, I retired nine years ago at age sixty. My wife is still, however, she is currently off due to cancer treatment. I have more time to be en femme. My time is well spent being "June Cleaver;" doing domestic chores (washing, ironing, vacuuming), baking, meal preparation, leisurely reading and dining (breakfast & lunch) en femme. The desire is not as intense as when my time was limited during pre retirement. I still need to accomplish the "manly" chores, but, I know my time will always come the next day and the day after.

[Karmen]

Yes, I think it does. It's partly because of self confidence, past experience and knowing what you want.

[Alice B]

Alice has always been a part of me and not a day goes by without the need to express the need. But, my life style and other obligation often get in the way. Many times when I had planned on time as Alice something happens , or comes up that takes those plans away. I will gut it out, or cheat a little with some light foundation, a little mascara and eyebrow color. Not the way I would like it, but keeping harmony has to be the trump card.

[mechamoose]

At the moment, I'm 52.

I have been a 'variant' since I was 23. Probably best identified as Genderqueer at about 1987. I have always felt both male and female inside, but my body at 16 decided to be a 'Big Bad Bull' (er..Moose)

I'm used to being 'different'.

However, that has not helped with the overwhelming feelings I have had these last couple of years.

So yah, it seems to increase with age. Maybe it is being tired of substituting. Maybe it is just a case of the frackits.

All the job requirements, home requirements, body 'requirements'.. that just.. doesn't fit ME. Not anymore.

}:>

- MM

[Ally 2112]

Not sure whether it is the age or just accepting this .As i have got older the more i want to dress and the more accepting i have become

[Aunt Kelly]

All,

Living in Houston, TX gives me pause on society acceptance though. This is not a very TG friendly town, or at least it is very erratic.

LOL... I guess "eratic" is a pretty accurate term for it. It certainly depends on "where in town" we're talking about, but there are places in Houston that as TG friendly as you will find anywhere. Anyplace the hipsters have colonized (The Heights, Midtown) is going to be neutral, at worst, and you'd have to go some to get a second glance in the Montrose neighborhood. Out here in the 'burbs, though, I know exactly what you mean.

So, the next time one of the local girls puts together another GNO (hint... hint...) are you in?

Oh, the age question... I can't say that advancing age has caused it, but it does seem to be a pattern with many of us. My theory is that those of us of the boomer generation are finding enough acceptance these days, that we're maybe making up for lost time. So it's not really our age as much as it is the age, as in "this day and age", that has changed.

[sometimes_miss]

I don't think it increases with age. I believe that the desire is always there, in the background, we're just repressing it. Think about it; when you're busy doing something or doing a task, other things aren't on our minds. I think the first time I noticed this type of thing was, right after I got my first car. When I was upset, or sad, I'd go for a long ride, playing my favorite songs. By the time the ride was over, I would come home, relaxed, all problems forgotten, and go to sleep. Why? Because my mind was focused on other things for long enough, I forgot what was bothering me.
This, I believe can often be what happens to us. At least, it happened to me, so it's not beyond belief that it could happen to others, as well. When all else in my life is busy doing other things, especially if they're good things, I'm able to ignore the desire to crossdress. Yes, it's in the back of my mind, but easily ignored.
With more free time, if I'm not thinking about anything else, the desire to crossdress will surface. If my life is miserable, crossdressing will push THOSE thoughts out of my mind. Only, crossdressing brings about a whole set of new problems.

In addition, as we get older, obstacles to crossdressing decrease, as others have mentioned.

[Judy-Somthing]

Last year when my last child moved out and the PinkFog hit me 90% big time.
The wife found out and is very unhappy right now.
Now I feel that the PinkFog is down to about 10%.
I hope it doesn't come back as strong as last year, I know it would be bad for my marriage.

[Mark B]

My

1. I don't care what others think when I am dressed, except my wife

2. I don't really think its getting older but just more comfortable and experienced.

3. What everybody else has already said......

[Leslie Langford]

Last year when my last child moved out and the PinkFog hit me 90% big time.
The wife found out and is very unhappy right now.
Now I feel that the PinkFog is down to about 10%.
I hope it doesn't come back as strong as last year, I know it would be bad for my marriage.

Maybe part of your problem is that you are subconsciously objectifying your wife by calling her "the wife", as you have done in many posts here. You know, as in "the dog" or "the car". If she feels invalidated in this way, maybe that's one reason why she is not turning cartwheels over your crossdressing, and is less-than-receptive in terms of accommodating you in this way.

Pay it forward. Something to think about...