Thanks for may insightful replies. Sounds like many do find various hobbies and obsessions to distract from dressing. In the end, we come back to the need to express Femm.
Thanks for may insightful replies. Sounds like many do find various hobbies and obsessions to distract from dressing. In the end, we come back to the need to express Femm.
Is it substituting or diversion therapy? I've read numerous posts of CD-ers trying to stay away from wearing women's clothing by engaging in other activities. Sort of "idle time is the devil's playground" theory. Find something else to do to avoid dressing? You can do that to some extent, especially when there is no opportunity to be en femme. But, how often can you take a motorcycle ride to avoid dressing? Or go fishing? I think anything gets "old" and the urge to be en femme will return. If cross dressing is "just" a hobby, and, I read that too frequently here, then get a different hobby that causes less angst, causes less friction with your wife, cost less, and so on. Wearing women's clothing and emulating a woman is a lot more than a hobby.
I think substitution is for real a way to avoid or not cd. I sail, ski ride bikes etc and they help avoid cding. I once tried riding in CD mode and neither were as much fun. Well it was still fun but I couldn't focus on either. I thinkit would be the same skiing. I do know it is more fun shopping in cd mode.
Maybe this is what the dividing line is between transsexual and a cross dresser. I do know that I don't want transition because I think it would take the thrill out of cross dressing
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee
For me, I wouldn't say "substitute" ... I'd rather describe it as "distraction". The desire is always there, accompanied by that relentless nagging unrest. That feeling of hiding behind an inauthentic facade can just break me when there is an extended period of time where it is just absolutely a nonnegotiable situation of zero feminine expression whatsoever.
No matter what I do, I'm always going to have that feeling, and it sucks, but that's the deal. I have noticed that it's possible to distract myself in those situations, by descending into some other interest and absolutely losing myself in it. It's healthier than substance use, which is also a phase I went through coping with this.
Right now, I find myself deep in what has turned out to be a nearly 10 month dry spell, and it is wearing me down for sure. So at the moment, I've descended deep into to the world of digital synthesizer design and DSP, trying to learn how to build my own old school analog sounding synth in software. Its deep and complicated and fascinating ... also kind of pointless, I have plenty of actual synths I could play that are a billion times better than anything I could ever cobble together. However, even though that nagging feeling is always there morning noon and night, while I'm absorbed in synth stuff, I'm at least partially successful in ignoring it.
I agree with Stephanie ... for me at least, this far from a "hobby", though I certainly respect that for plenty of people it is.
"Why shouldn't art be pretty? There are enough unpleasant things in the world." -Pierre-Auguste Renoir
I have a variety of distractions going, so that if I can't dress my mind is engaged.
For me there is no substitute. I read, I exercise, watch tv. Nothing compares to the feeling I get when I dress, though.
Not sure if it is a substitute, but the closest thing that fits the bill for me, is time
behind the steering wheel, A nice drive, usually 7 to 12 hours works,
Nothing like a good roadtrip.
my sister's reply when I told her how I prefer to dress
"Everyone has there thing, all that matters is that you are happy, love what you do and who you do it with"
Stephanie47,
I think you frame where I am pretty well. Hobbies are hobbies, despite being very intense at times. CD ing is who I am. Yeah, that's it. Thanks!
Yep, through my adult life, I've had several periods where I went for sometimes many years, substituting happy relationships and frequent sex with women, rather than crossdress. When those relationships went south, and I had no other available source of affection, crossdressing desire returned with a vengeance.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Hi ginapoodle...
As I dress in limitation and only at home alone I view it as more of a hobby. To enjoy other hobbies while dressed would be wonderful but does not happen for the most part. Maybe that suggests that I engage other hobbies because I cannot engage my dressing often enough although I think I would pursue those "more accepted" hobbies regardless of the clothing I wear.
For those whose lifestyles involve dressing much more regularly then perhaps other hobbies are just that: hobbies. They would not seem to be replacements for dressing.
So I guess there would be some merit to what you suggest for some of us but not so much for others. Interesting observation!
There is no substitution to my crossdressing or my desire and plan to transition. I do like to ride my Harley, look at the night sky with my telescope, and play my guitar.
Gina, for me there is no substitute if I can't dress I just have to deal with it and wait for the opportunity or wait for the urge to lessen. Not always very easy but nothing really distracts me.
A.K.A Rebecca & Bec
I don't think you're really substituting but finding an alternate activity which makes you happy.
I believe that we crossdress because it makes us happy. Our brains are hardwired to release feel good neurotransmitters (oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin and others) when we crossdress. Those neurotransmitters produce the sensations we love. Of course, crossdressing isn't the only activity that releases feel good neurotransmitters. Sexual activity releases them. For some people going to sporting events releases them (especially if you're a big fan of a team). For myself, I enjoy long walks in woods early in the morning, lucid dreaming, making people laugh...
However, it really doesn't substitute for crossdressing...
There is no substitute for crossdress in my life. I,ve had fast cars, Surfed bigger waves than most will. Climbed a few simple mountains and rock faces. Heck I raced my instructor down an absail years ago. Even my 24 year old son thinks I'm an adrenaline junky. But none of those things can compare. They are just fun Hobbies. CD is so much more.
I have to agree with the rest of y'all, you can only substitute with things for so long before it all comes out. I've tried working long hours and multiple jobs, no luck. I was also a volunteer firefighter for 16 years, again no luck. Currently I substitute it with metal detecting, hiking, and other various outdoor activities. In the end it all comes back as it is a part of you just like you have brown hair or blue eyes.
Gina, there is no substitute for dressing-none! All the other things are other interests. You wouldn't crossdress to satisfy your desire to ride a motorcycle. You could combine the two but to just crossdress to satisfy the motorcycle desire would not work! IMHO Hugs Lana Mae
Life is worth living!
"Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix
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