It's so hard to meet someone when all people see is the crossdressing

[Kate 77]

I'm not sure if I'm the only one like this, but I am recently separated. Like all things there was more to it than the crossdressing but now I am so scared and feel scared to meet or start a new relationship because I don't want to go through it all over again. I am more than a crossdresser but it seems to always be the largest roadblock to meeting someone special. It is so hard because it seems first you have to meet someone accepting and then see if there is compatibility. How do others meet people, or what has been your experience. I ask because sometimes I feel so alone trying to find someone to have a relationship with.

[2BArianwen]

Hi Kate

I'm so sorry to hear of your circumstances. I'm afraid I'm not in the position to offer you any advice, but please know that you're not alone.

Rian

[terza]

i would never use x-dressing as the blocker of starting a relationship --it is hard to meet a brilliant, beautiful woman.

i have brought it into the relationship early, whilst dating, w/ my previous girlfriend and ex-wife.
x-dressing is very sexual for me and i do get bored w/ straight sex, so it has been to the benefit of my relationships --at least on two occasions.

[Steph65]

Hello Fellow Canadian!!! Hi Kate. Ontario here. it is hard to meet people. I met my wife and I was straight up with her when we first got together. I gave her the ultimatum if you think you do not want me to dress then say so and we will not get Married we will part our ways. I decided not to settle for anything less!!! I know there are some crossdressing groups in Alberta you will have to source them out. Eventually while you are out it will happen in time. You can not rush this but keep a keen sense about it.

Some of the Gay/Lesbian/ Transgender clubs could be a starting place to meet other women who could be interested in being with or dating a crossdreser. The other thing is you can post in the paper and have it so you retrieve you messages from a post box and not an e mail or adress. There is other ways as well and eventually something will come around

Steph

[2B Natasha]

Well Kate 77.

I think you have it backwards. First you meet someone you think maybe the one. Then you tell them about the trans portion of you. Not the other way around. This will mean meeting possible dozens of potential partners and getting rejected straight away. But eventual several things will happen. You'll have confidence in telling them straight away as you gain personal insight into yourself and where you stand on the gender spectrum. And when you do meet the partner that shrugs their shoulders and says " and ". You found them. No secrets. No pies. No hiding.

Trust me they are out there. I found one. And married her.

But starting from they must accept first is just backwards. If you do Chiat method. You will I almost can guarantee you to be back in the same place you are now. Find yourself. The. Find them. There truely is no otherway.

[docrobbysherry]

I must agree with Natasha. When u go out on a first date do u talk about masterbating or oral sex? If u do, you've hit the GG Gackpot! Well, it's the same with CDing. Wait until things get serious before u delve into DEEP subjects like those.

TS's dress everyday. So, it's obvious they r trans. But, CD's don't and shouldn't kill a possible relationship by revealing too much too early.

[Tracii G]

I'm sure you are not the only one like that, its a big world out there.
You don't have to be in a relationship right now anyway give yourself some free time to do what you want.
I know people that don't feel complete unless they are in a relationship but they are usually miserable and won't admit it.
You didn't mention your age but it would help a lot in giving advice to you.
Oh and welcome to the forum.

[Rogina B]

If being yourself is truly important to you,then show up for the first date as yourself and take it from there.

[Majella St Gerard]

I'm in the same boat, I'm recently separated. I dress every day and only really meet women when I am dressed en femm and although I meet and make friends with many women, so far none have been interested in me in a romantic way. Well one I hope, I met a young woman at the store I nuy wigs and costumes at and she asked me to hang out, we've had lunch and a walk on the beach, we mostly text, so I'm hopeful.

[atxpantyboy]

I prefer to be open and honest about my crossdressing from the start of any relationship. I told my last gf before we ever even kissed for the first time. She had some personal reservations about my bisexuality and crossdressing, even though she was very accepting of those things in society at large. I told her to take all the time she needed to decide whether it was something she could not just accept, but embrace, otherwise we would agree just to be good friends. She chose to go forward with a relationship. We eventually broke up for other reasons, but it felt so great to enter a relationship with no secrets whatsoever.

For me to be truly happy in a relationship over the long term, I need a woman who LIKES crossdressers and bisexual men, or is at least a very open minded person with few inhibitions or hangups. So for me it makes perfect sense to put it out there from the start rather than - try to find a suitable partner, woo them to get them hooked, and then reveal a secret to see if they accept it or not.

[Jesse Six]

Hello from Alberta, Kate!
If you're experiencing loneliness in general, there's a CD group called 'Illusions Social Club' that meets in Edmonton, Calgary, and Red Deer. However, it's not a dating group.
I know a few Calgary nightclubs where there's... action to be found, but don't expect a long-term romantic relationship. Have you tried online dating? It can be challenging, but I also found it the most productive.

[Steph65]

On the flip side of things they say if you go looking for it you won't find it. Alotof times things happen out of the blue. it will happen when you least expect it. Until then enjoy dressing and going out. Experiment with everything makeup dresses forms hair and many other things. Most of all don't be in a big hurry it will happen when you least expect it.

[Tracii G]

I tend to agree with Steph65 if go looking and hit up a lot of girls then you look desperate.
Kick back and see if any approach you. Its OK in this day and age to let the women make a move if she is interested.
I have found over the years if you act like you are aren't interested in a woman it turns on some sort of switch and they make a concerted effort to make you notice them.
Being gay I have no interest in a relationship with a woman other than being friends.

[CateNatalia]

I got together with someone who is very accepting of my girl side - even encouraging. I told her about it within the first couple of months, simply because it felt like the right time to do so. I wouldn't have told her straight away, upfront. What mattered was that she loved me in the first place and by the time I told her, it just didn't matter to her in a negative way at all. She's a very accepting girl though!

[Beverley Sims]

Welcome to the forum and I advise you to read other peoples experiences posted in the various threads here.

I suggest you try to make a relationship as a guy before trying anything others might find extreme.


In fairness to others I am assuming you are M to F as far as crossdressing is concerned.

[Planet_Janet]

Firstly, my commiserations to you, Kate. Breaking up is stressful and there is naturally a desire for a new relationship sooner rather than later. My advice FWIW, is to be brave, be yourself, be outgoing and most of all, be patient. The time to talk about our particular pastime is when the subject turns to sex and sexuality. In other words, meet some ladies, form a relationship first, and break the news when a bond is formed and you have some idea of what sort reception you'll receive. There maybe a few misfires but you'll eventually find the one. I've just celebrated 30 years with my second wife.