I thought I would take another shot at a drive, after my last interesting adventure. I went out after dinner as usual, once all out of male mode something felt different tonight for some reason I felt more vulnerable. I made a right turn and the sun was blasting in my eyes, wait a minute it's 6pm and the sun is still out, oh yeh the time change a few weeks ago, and I remembered last week it was cloudy but today was sunny.
I look in the mirror and the sun is blasting threw my makeup like a laser, I now get this feeling that everyone is staring at me, I have did a few day times but not with this sun directly in my face. I'm now FROZEN like a manacin, like a piece of wood. I direct my head straight ahead, not looking to the left or right, my hands both strapped to the steering wheel, my legs locked together like a virgin on her first date, I felt like I'm driving naked.
Now with my heart pounding threw my dress I start thinking and it seemed like the conscious little devil came on my shoulder and said "OMG I can't believe we are doing this in daylight, what a rush a thrill of being exposed like this", but then it felt like the conscious Angel came on my right shoulder and said" are you crazy, this is high risk, you might as well take a selfy of yourself and send it to all of your family and freinds because Im going to get outted"
With these mixed emotions I rushed to make the next left turn to get out of the burning sun, once I made the turn I calmed down and seriously asked myself, why do I torment myself like this, I call these rides relaxing and stress release but they are far from that, wouldn't you think.
The sun went down pretty fast I drove around awhile longer and got changed and picked up a coffee for my wife(with the proper change). Inside joke if you read my last post. As frustrating as it was at curtain points, it was much better then last week.
Had to share and as I'm writing this I'm asking myself. WHY DO I PUT MYSELF THREW THIS????
. After the challenging excursion last time ( which wasn't your fault ), you probably just needed a more straightforward one to regenerate your momentum - more mentally than in your actions. Your actions were fine last time . . you just needed a coffee server not to throw your change at you. You're back in business now. I think you'll be more relaxed next time 
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