Today marks the beginning of my 4-day weekend. This is the weekend, my younger sister and I are traveling to the twin cities (via plane) to visit our older sister and hang out for a few days, just us three sisters. This is my opportunity to get a full four days of living in my truth, as a woman, no safety nets, no timeouts before I meet with the doctor next week to begin HRT. A number of you had expressed interest in hearing about the trip when I mentioned it previously, so I figured running updates in their own thread would make it easier for me to get everything down. (Note of selfishness here, this thread will also serve as a personal diary for me of the weekend )
DAY 1 - Preparation Day
So today was my first day off of work. My sister and I leave tomorrow but there were somethings I wanted to get done and since our flight is so early, we're also staying in a hotel near the airport. My day started at 6:00, getting up so I could shower, shave from head-to-toe, get dressed and made-up and ready for my day. I had a 10:00 appointment for a mani/pedi and brow shaping at a salon near my hotel. I left a little extra early so I could stop at Walmart and get a pair of flip-flops to wear following my pedicure to hopefully avoid damaging the polish. The stop at Walmart was uneventful, had a very friendly woman at the register check me out and I was on my way.
Got to the Salon and the women there were so amazingly kind and hospitable. Upon walking in the door, the woman at the desk looked up my appointment and offered to take my coat. My technician helped me pick a color and brought me back to her station, getting right to work on the pedicure. I told her this was my first time and she was super cool and helpful. The pedi, mani and brow wax all went very well with her offering her expertise throughout. After paying, the woman at the desk chatted me up for a few minutes and invited me to return for another visit. Throughout I was treated very naturally with no hit of awkwardness or confusion. I was just one of the girls, what an amazing feeling.
Off to my hotel for an early check-in. I was glad they had my room available already so I could drop off all my stuff. I quick changed out of the capri yoga pants I wore to the spa into a nice cute pair of skinny jeans and my new lace-up ankle boots. Then it was off to the mall to find a dress for tomorrow night's dinner with my sisters. I ended up stopping at 5 or 6 different stores before I finally found a dress I liked. I needed something with 1/2 or 3/4 sleeves. I found two and after trying them on and finding that they both looked great and fit me well, I decided to get both of them. Cashier was crazy friendly and helpful and after about 90 minutes at the mall I left with two dresses and a t-shirt and shorts workout outfit (impulse buy).
It was 3:30 when I was on my way back to the hotel and I realized I hadn't eaten anything for dinner yet. I went looking for a decent sit down restaurant. Since I was alone, I figured I'd be safer at a chain so I stopped at a Chilis. A kind hostess seated me and my waitress introduced herself. Again, not awkward reactions, just friendly and comfortable. A note to servers everywhere, if you want a big tip from a trans woman, flattery will get you everywhere. At one point my waitress came up and said "Hey beautiful, how is everything? Can I get you anything else?" Yeah I'm a sucker but that was awesome!! Finished, paid my bill and headed out across the street to Walmart (again). Realized I needed some tights. Ended up also buying a couple t-shirts. The woman who checked me out was very much the opposite of everyone else I dealt with today. She didn't greet me, never really looked at me, and mumbled as few words as she could when handing me my receipt. I don't know if this is just her regular mode (it is a Walmart afterall) or if it was a bad reaction to me. Either way, I don't really care as long as there was nothing insulting said.
Finally headed back to my hotel, tried everything on one more time. Decided on which dress to take with me on the trip and now I'm about to catch a nap before my sister arrives. What a spectacular first day. Tomorrow however, will be all new adventures. My first time flying as a female, shopping at the Mall of America and then a fancy dinner with my sisters. So excited!!
Today was the big day. My sister arrived at the hotel late last night. We went down to the bar and had a quick drink and a snack. The bar was fairly empty save for one table with four guys at it who were doing shots. No interaction, no noticeable reaction, just a nice time chatting over drinks with my sister. This morning we got up crazy early and after getting ready, checked out and headed to the airport. I wore an outfit very similar to yesterdays (skinny jeans and same boots, and a gray and white tunic top). TSA was a breeze. No questions or odd response of any kind from the agent checking my ID. I have pre-check so I went through the metal detector and was therefore able to wear my breast forms. I did have to remove my boots since they have a steel shank, but that was no big deal.
The flight to the cities was short and uneventful, the flight attendants didn't skip a beat referring to me as "miss". After claiming my sister's bag, our older sister picked us up and it was off to breakfast. We had a great breakfast in this cool little cafe in uptown Minneapolis. It was so awesome hearing the waitress refer to us as "ladies". All of the staff were super friendly and there were no signs of awkwardness. After a nice chat over breakfast we checked in to our hotel. The front desk clerk was totally smooth and handled everything normally (although he did blurt out my male first name when confirming the reservation, but no big deal). We got upgraded to a suite which is super nice. After dropping our bags it was off to the Mall of America for some shopping.
We spent hours in the mall. Stopped in a ton of different shops. I ended up buying a third dress, a sleeveless mini-dress that I hope to get a slouch or half top to wear with it. Both my sisters ended up getting new dresses for tonight's dinner and we all got new shoes as well. I got a great pair of red suede pumps that I would later wear to dinner. After hours of shopping it was time to return to the hotel to get cleaned up and ready for dinner.
We went to a great little restaurant in downtown Minneapolis. The food was amazing and the service was great. I'm so amazed how effortlessly these people in service professions (servers, sales staff, etc.) are able to adjust and simply treat me as a woman. Our waiter, the expediters and even a manager who stopped by our table all repeatedly referred to me as miss or ma'am. We also had the waiter snap a picture of us sisters which I texted to our mom and also included a cropped version below so you can see my outfit. After dinner we went to a small bar and had a few drinks. We sat around this cute little table in a lounge area in the back and just carried on with conversation about everything from music to dancing to plans for tomorrow.
Now the BIG news!! As some of you know, Lisa is not the name I plan to use going forward. It's a name I've used for the last two decades for anonymity on the internet and there is baggage attached to it that I would like to shed. So I've had a short list going for a while considering possible new names. On the way from the airport to breakfast, my sisters asked what they should call me this weekend. I told them let's start by trying out my favorite from the list (which also happened to be their favorite as well), so that's what they called me all day. It felt natural, it is a perfect fit and by the end of dinner it was confirmed, I've chosen my new name. I am Alyssa Jean!!! (I'll have to change my name on the forum and everything after I get back and can sort through the proper process)
Tomorrow is make-over day and then we're meeting with up with a couple (wife and trans-woman) for dinner, drinks and other activities. This will be my first chance to really hang out with another trans woman. I'm looking forward to it.
Lisa/Alyssa, looking at your picture I see no reason that any server or wait staff would refer to you as anything but miss or ma'am. I have found when I have been out and about that most people that I come in contact with are careful to be polite and use correct pronouns and titles. Particularly when you are in the company of your sisters I'm sure that they don't even give a second thought.
Several weeks ago I was at thee local supermarket as Bria, when I was checking out the checker said " Did you find every thing alright, Ma'am." It surprised me a little bit as I was by myself and not in the company of and of the Girls Nite Out crowd that will always get addressed as "ladies" or "ma'am". It felt good even if I was a little surprised.
It sure sounds like you are having a good weekend in Minneapolis, I'll look forward to your next update!!
Hey everyone, sorry I failed to get more updates in here. I made the mistake of trying to change my email address on the forum and apparently either my new email provider doesn't like the crossdressers.com domain or this site doesn't like the domain of my new email address. Either way I'm back now and have some updates. I'll post them one at a time since this forum doesn't like subsequent posts from the same user.
DAY 3 - Makeover Day
Woohoo, today was chuck full of fun once again. This morning I was on my own for the first couple hours while my sisters had something else to attend to. I ate breakfast at a small cafe in one of the local malls. To woman who took my order commented on how much she liked the color on my nails and I shared with her the manufacturer and name. It was a fun little conversation, the type of conversation I've always wanted to be able to share in but was never allowed to before because of my male shell.
After breakfast, I still had plenty of time to kill so I went shopping at an H&M in the mall. I was really looking for a cute top to wear home tomorrow on the plane but ended up seeing a few dresses I really liked on sale. I grabbed 2 plus a blouse and a pair of high waist shorts. Unfortunately, one dress didn't fit great and they didn't have it in the next size up, same story with the blouse and I just didn't care for the jean shorts. I did end up buying one dress (pictured below). I walked through a few other stores and just had some fun browsing.
It was getting close to the time for my sisters to be coming to pick me up from the mall, so I decided to just sit and relax at at table in the open foyer area. While sitting there checking facebook on my phone, an older man came up and started hitting on me. He was kinda creepy. Started by complimenting my on my shirt, telling me how cute it was and how hot it made me look. But then he started asking if I was going out tonight and if I was, what would I be wearing. I stuck to short answers and focusing on my phone more than him. Eventually he got the idea that I wasn't interested and walked away.
My sisters picked me up and after joking and laughing about my admirer it was off to the studio for my makeover. The woman who runs the shop has a ton of costume makeup experience and has worked with a lot of trans women and drag queens. She was super cool about getting my thoughts on what I wanted and explaining a lot of the techniques as she went. She also explained her choices in product and how I could achieve similar results with what I have already. She even helped me with my wig and eliminating the fairly visible line of the lace front. She was totally amazing and if I lived in the cities or anywhere nearby, I'd be a regular at her place.
We had lunch afterward and that was nice experience. A very friendly androgynous server treated us very well and complimented me on my makeup. One man who almost bumped into me when I was on my way to the bathroom gave me a very genuine "excuse me miss". After lunch we headed back to the hotel where my sisters had me model the two new dresses I bought yesterday and today (Hopefully tomorrow I'll wear the one I bought yesterday and get some pics to share). We sat around just chatting about different things until it was time to get ready for dinner.
We went to eat at a nice Indian restaurant. Our server was very clearly taken back by me and was pretty awkward throughout the dinner. He regularly mis-gendered me as "sir" although I don't think it was malicious, just ignorance and awkwardness on his part. She denies she did it on purpose but at one point my sister called him ma'am. We got a good laugh out of it and while it didn't change his misgendering of me, he was at least a little more comfortable serving us from that point on.
Finally after dinner, we went to a bar and had some drinks and a snack. We had an awesome waitress who was full of compliments on our outfits and who sat and chatted with us for some time. I found the fruity drink I was having was going down a little too easy and thankfully stopped myself before getting out of control. A woman that my sister got to talking with in the bathroom came by our lounging area and chatted with us for a few minutes as well. She was totally friendly and didn't skip a beat when introduced to me or anything.
DAY 4 - The Last Hoorah (For Now)
So today was the last day of our trip. My younger sister and I flew home this evening after one more really great day. Let's start in the morning. We went out for breakfast and met with another couple that I've talked with through Facebook but hadn't met before. They are a cis-female and a trans woman who has only just recently begun her transition. We were treated well as seems to be par for the course. It was really nice for the first time being able to have a face to face discussion with another trans woman who is going through a lot of the same things in terms of her transition as I am. We shared some info and of course talked about a lot more than just transitioning. At one point we were talking about our male versus female looks and her wife said something to me that got the tears welling up big time. It was probably the greatest thing I've heard in a long time. She said "When I look at your male pictures versus how you look now, I don't look at you now and see the man hiding underneath. When I look at your pictures, I see the woman hiding underneath". Seriously had to fight to not cry and destroy my makeup, what an amazing thing to say.
Through the course of breakfast, we decided that we needed to do another weekend like this in another city. Me, my sisters, her and her wife. So the gears are already in motion on that. (BTW, I wore the other new dress I got on Friday and the outfit is shown in the picture below).
After breakfast we went back to the hotel, got changed and packed and checked out. Then we went back to the mall to do some more shopping. I was really looking for a red shrug or cropped cardigan to go with the dress I wore today (as well as another dress I've had for a while) so I can cover up the less than feminine ink on my arms. After a couple stores, we finally found what I was looking for. I ended up getting two shrugs, one in blue, one in red, and also some new earrings. Wilson's had a store clearance going and I came very close to buying myself an awesome leather jacket. However, with costs racking up and also realizing how hard it would be to get it home on the plan (my bags were already full) I decided not to. On the way out of the mall we passed by a Harley Davidson store, and I had to go look for a top (they have some of the greatest ladies tops sometimes). I looked for a while and didn't find anything I liked, but then my older sister walked up to me with a super cute burgandy shirt with black lace insets. I grabbed two sizes and went to find a fitting room. The room was off in a corner and there were more ladies shirts near there and a woman was in that section browsing. As I walked in her direction, I got a pretty nasty glare, probably the only real bad reaction I've gotten. I had to find an associate to open the room and the guy that helped me out was over the top friendly. He was truly helpful, and really made me feel at ease. I found the shirt that fit, and went to check out. The same guy checked me out, again being super nice. Meanwhile, that woman was at the other register with her husband trying to check out (they were having a credit card issue). When I walked up, she walked away and starting looking at displays, leaving her husband to sort out the mess. It was pretty clear from her body language, I was the reason she left. But it really didn't bother me. I have to admit, walking into a Harley store I kind of expected some bad reactions. After I checked out, I found a bathroom so I could change into my shirt (yeah it's that awesome).
After the mall, we had a late lunch at a Thai restaurant my sister recommended. The food was good, staff was friendly, no issues or awkwardness. Then it was off to the airport. Once again TSA was a breeze. The agent checking ID's looked at my ID then at me and suddenly lit up and was extra friendly. I've noticed this becoming a trend that a lot of people when they figure out I'm trans will be come a little over the top friendly. It's almost like maybe they're trying a little too hard but I'm not complaining. It's nice and far better than the alternative. I actually enjoy the "special" attention. Anyway, the screening process went fine (thank god for TSA PreCheck), wore my breast forms and padding once again and since I was going through a metal detector instead of a body scanner, there were no issues.
The flight home was uneventful. The flight attendants were very friendly to me, again one effeminate male flight attendant gave me that same extra friendly type reaction when I boarded, but it was genuine and it made me feel comfortable and welcome.
So really that's all there is to report. The weekend was amazing. What I've learned from all of this is that this is truly who I need to be. I am Alyssa Jean. This chick has broken out of her egg and is ready to face the world. This is the confirmation I needed as I head into a week that will see me starting electrolysis and taking the first step toward HRT as well. I'm more ready now than I was before even. Another nice side effect of this is that I'm so much closer now with my sisters. They were so amazing all weekend gendering me properly, referring to me as their sister and just helping me be one of the girls.
First photo is me after the makeover, second is the outfit I wore to dinner (the new dress from H&M), third photo is the Calvin Klein dress I wore to Breakfast.
The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs. We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.
)
