women: just when you think you have them all figured out...

[Samm]

As some of you may know, my wife supports me dressing, but won't agree to me shaving my legs. I've gotten away with shaving my chest, as I just couldn't take it anymore. She's not thrilled, but is ok with it. So, although I don't go out, I still find myself dressing in a way where I must cover everything up. Long sleeves, opaque tights etc... the other day, I mentioned that I'd like to try women's jeans. I love the curvy/boot cut style with nice shoes, top and jacket. I think I could rock that look, and told her so. Her response was to "stick with the other stuff" and that's where she draws the line. I left it alone for now, but from what I gathered, is she can't see it looking good with all the boy bits and what not. I just found it odd that the line was drawn there. She's picked out some nice outfits for me many times. (Tops and skirts) And has seen me in things like corsets, garters etc. And loves them. But not jeans? I respected her wishes of course. even though I don't fully understand them at times.

[deebra]

Go to the thrift store and buy two or three pair @ $4 each and of course try them on in the store. One pair tight the second medium and the third loose. The bits can be tucked under tight panties so they disappear. Then see if you can model them for her, start with the loose and see if she can handle them, later on try the medium then tight, don't throw to much at her at one time. If she can handle dresses she certaintly should handle jeans. You mentioned you could put together a nice outfit, that sounds like "an outing" at a future date. It's great to go public knowing and enjoying what you are wearing. You just need to work with her slowly and buying her a nice feminine gift to thank her for her acceptance will help sway her. Her wanting you to be covered and no shaving, you do have more than a hill to climb. Samm you said it right, women are more than complicated, at times they are impossible.

[Samm]

Even though i don't go out, i still like to dress presentable as if i were. I tend to cover up more for myself because I hate seeing the hair in the mirror.

[Kelli Jo-ann]

maybe she's afraid you'll want to wear women's jeans out, to where she knows you won't wear a dress out.

[Pat]

Maybe she doesn't like girls in jeans? Heaven knows there are enough folks out there who feel that way. (Not me, I live in 'em.) Keep in mind that she's in a process of discovery just as you are. Things may change for good or ill as she thinks stuff through.

[Teresa]

Samm,
That wouldn't be a problem for me because I don't wear women's jeans or trousers.

I must admit your wife is given some mixed messages , I would have thought most women would have preferred seeing us in jeans rather than a skirt or dress, OK my wife knows I shave my legs, chest, arms and back but I've told her more than once that when I go out I try and do the best I can with my looks which means no exposed male hair . Your wife also doesn't mind seeing underwear, mine would definitely not want that.

They certainly do take some figuring out !!

[Trione]

Just wear what she buys you and be glad she is understanding. Maybe find a pair of jeans at a second hand store while she is with you,

[kimdl93]

As always, communication is essential. Without getting bogged down on jeans per se, periodically talk with your wife, and focus on what she is feeling. It may not change her present attitude, but at least you'll have a clearer idea of what you're up against.

[IleneD]

Sam,

My take on this is that your SO/Wife may fear "escalation" more than she doesn't fancy women's jeans on her man.
One of the things that I've learned over the last year of my "coming out" and dealing with a knowing but un-enthusiastic Wife of many years, is that Wives don't want this CD thing spinning out of control. Yes, we can say it's only about the clothes. You say you are a man and want to BE a man (in a dress). BUT.... the inner fear of a Wife is that her man will become a Woman and things spin out of control.
I see a lot of this in my own growing (DADT) situation, with my very loving Wife. I go to great lengths to understand HER position and thoughts on her recent discovery of my long held secret, and try to accommodate her feelings. But I don't "ASK PERMISSION" to wear my lady clothes, or what I want to purchase. I just do it. I may get an eye-roll from the Wife (mostly for looking ridiculous), but I've found that exploring new clothes and EXPANDING the wardrobe (and CD habit) is a great way to ease into greater acceptance. [But don't push it?].

I don't have the natural shape for women's slacks or jeans, but still wear leggings. I have a pair of jean leggings (jeggings) that look great. I've worn them out in public once. I also have a pair of skinny jeans that pass as guy jeans (but skinny!); and I love wearing those with my ankle boots. But...... just go get a pair (maybe jean leggings for start if you wear leggings with skirts)
Try something like this around the house.
Around the House in Jeans-FC.jpeg BlueTop & Leggings 5 (cute pose)-FC.jpg

[Samm]

I'm pretty sure 'escalation' is not the reason here. She makes more suggestions than I do sometimes. She always compliments how I look when I'm dressed. And she's watched me work on my makeup. She always says she leaves the girly stuff to me. She's more of the sneakers and workout clothes type. It's really not a huge problem here, I just found it odd how specific the line was. But IleneD, I like your pics. That's not too far off from what I was thinking at the time.

[Jean 103]

You need to listen to her feelings not her words. I’m going to hazard a guess that she doesn’t want you going out of the house dressed. Like she is ok with a guy in a dress, but not a TG person dressing and going out in public.

[Jodi]

Re the thread title--If any man is foolish enough to think he has a woman figured out, he is in for a big fall. Even if you might think you have it, PMS kicks in and all rules go out the window.

jodi

[docrobbysherry]

What Jodi said. Plus, I found that instead of guessing the what and why of a woman's thinking? I ask them instead.

Their answers r ALWAYS different from my guesses. Altho, I've yet to understand most of their "why" answers to date-----

[Stephanie47]

It could be that old saying, "Give them an inch, and, they'll take a mile!" Shaving your chest may require wearing a tee shirt in summer, while there is no way to cover up shaved legs while wearing shorts in the summer. There are many guys who do shave their torsos, chest and back. Frankly, I think it is rather silly looking to see a guy who has shaved his chest and back and not his legs.

I do agree with Kelli that you may venture forth from the home in jeans, but, not a dress.

[Samm]

Well, I don't wear shorts, or go shirtless in the summertime. So that's not it lol. She just likes hair on a guy, that's all. I'm guessing she may have thought I wanted to wear them out in male mode on a daily basis. That's not the case. I'm going to try and clarify that, if and when it comes up again. In the meantime, we do have plans to do a little "shopping" this weekend. (Her idea)

[docrobbysherry]

There's that "guessing" I warned about in my post. That will most likely get u in hot water EVERY SINGLE TIME!

Ask her, instead!

[Shayna]

Maybe jeans are so ordinary to her that wearing women's jeans is no longer about dressing up, but about wanting to be to be a woman.

That said, over the last few years I've really started to appreciate everyday wear like jeans, leggings, sweaters, etc., even though for me it is just about being a CD and not imagining going beyond that. It doesn't always have to be the most feminine things that I enjoy. Just the cut and styling make me feel like I'm getting dolled up.

[audreyinalbany]

maybe she's just asserting herself, drawing another line in the sand . She might be pissed that you shaved your chest when she didn't want you shaving anything and this is...and she may not even be conscious of it...a way of putting her foot down just to see if you respect her boundary,no matter how random it may seem.

[Paige Dehart]

It's just my humble opinion and I am not saying I am right, but it almost sounds like her not agreeing to you shaving your legs or wearing women's jeans is her way of having some type of control, as in you can't/ I don't want you to complete the look you are trying to achieve. When my SO mentioned that to complete the look she wanted to achieve the goatee I loved would have to go my response was don't forget to shave your leg and armpits. I hope that for whatever reason she has drawn this line that she will have a change of heart.

Paige

[Jenny22]

It might be wise to respect her opinion, or in two months she will hit you with,"And further more ........."

[Devone]

Stephanie , I agree with you , if you shave , shave yourself completely , then you can wear that dress.Devone

[Geena Gee]

I was browsing the index, and saw this thread. I considered how I would reply. Then I looked at the title for the next thread, and it all came together...

This thread: women: just when you think you have them all figured out...
following thread: Stupid me

That just about says it all when a man thinks that he has figured out a woman.

-Geena