Ok so I'm planning on going out soon maybe as soon as next weekendbut it's been awhile in fact haven't been out since 2016
work and stuff so busy, but I really wanna go out, it's just that I'm scared I've lost my bottle :/ Its been over 6 months now and it feels like the first time all over again anyone else ever feel this way?
My Instagram xnicolex1988
No not really.
Sounds like a matter of confidence! You did it six months ago and you can do it now! Go out there and have a good time! Once you are out it will be old hat! Best wishes Hugs Lana Mae
Life is worth living!
"Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix
Not for me , I love to go out.
No regrets except I should have got dressed & stepped out sooner.
If your profile picture is you, then you have nothing to worry about! I put a long time between my first three times out and it was a challenge but none were ever as hard as the first time. You will be fine!
Dan B
Dani (Genny before Transition)
All Girl!
Your bottle? What bottle? "Trans Potion Number Nine."
Take your troubles down to Madame Ruth.
You know that gypsy with the gold-capped tooth.
She's got a pad down on Thirty-Fourth and Vine.
She said "I'm gonna make it up right here in the sink"
It smelled like turpentine, it looked like Indian ink
I held my nose, I closed my eyes, I took a drink
The real lyrics are here.
http://www.metrolyrics.com/love-poti...searchers.html
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
Yes, I still get nervous each time. Sometimes it is worse than others. Over Xmas this last year I did all my shopping dressed and was out almost everyday for a week dressed. I was doing pretty good then but anytime there is a long break between outings I get nervous all over again.
I haven't been out for nigh on 6 months apart from a few hours at night on 2 occasions but if all goes to plan then I'll have a few days to spend entirely dressed later this month. And yes I'm a little apprehensive. Last time I spent extended time out I got dressed, did the makeup, took a deep breath and headed out and as they say hit the ground running doing supermarket shopping within the hour.
The apprehension is partly due to the fact the on this occasion I'll be staying on a caravan (trailer)park as opposed to a more secluded house that I've stayed in before. Hence I'll be living in much closer proximity to those around me and possible scrutiny.
However I know it's something I need to do so I'll pull up my big girly knickers, act as normal as I can while not flaunting about and just get on with it. After all the shops await as does a night out with other CD'ers in Manchester.
Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed
Nicolex,
I can't remember if you meet with anyone socially , but I know I have something to look forward to every month, it helps me to get my head round and think my outfits out, depending on what the theme for the evening is.
I have a challenge coming up this month as we have changed venues to a much bigger hotel, so it's a matter of getting my confidence up again to face it. Depending how it pans out I may be arriving dressed which means checking into the reception desk to get my room details. I'm in a dilemma what to wear on arrival and what to wear for breakfast.
One thing I won't do is bottle out, I will regret that so much, as I'm sure you will, 6 months is a long time, I find the 4-5 week gaps far too long and wish I had more .
Helen,
I thought you were a regular member of a local group like me and made it out every month ?
I hope you put something on top of those big girly knickers before venturing out , they will be in for a surprise ! besides it's still too cold .
Last edited by Teresa; 05-05-2017 at 10:00 AM.
I understand where you are coming from. I have not been out for almost 2 years due to a variety of reasons. Starting tomorrow I have 3 weeks while wife is out of the country and plan to go out. Also a bit nervous, but my daughter in aw wants to go out with Alice. Should be interesting.
Not necessarily like the *first* time -- but close enough.
I hear ya, Nicole.
It's like anything, really. Don't do something for a while, and you start to lose a little/some/almost all of your confidence.
But once you get out there, it's like riding a bike!
I still have days sometimes where my confidence isn't where it should be. Keep in mind, I'm "just" in guy-mode, but it's the yoga pants / workout leggings that are the obvious giveaway that I'm wearing chick clothes. Not a pink & purple floral print, per se, but some of them get quite femmy-looking & attention-grabbing... Increasingly moreso, these days, I'll add.
Can't put my finger on it. Might just be my particular mood that day, or perhaps it's a time and/or place where I'm going. Maybe it's even a new pair of leggings that I hadn't yet worn out in public -- ones that I'm not certain I even "should."
But, I simply slip on my big-girl panties, and just get out there & go about my business. Only thing you really can do. And once you get back, it's like, "Well, that was no big deal, really. What was all the fuss about, again?"
You'll be fine, hon.
That would be great if I could make it out monthly but hey not to be. I've got my outfits pretty much planned out for the 3 nights and 2 days I'll have to dress and doing that forward planning is one way I stay calm and focused. I plan to travel by train, a longer journey than I've done in the past, so I've researched the timetables, know what the fare will be so that I'm not giving myself unexpected issues to deal with. It's something I'd advise anyone who's going out for the first few times to do and that's your research. If it's somewhere I've never been before I use Google earth to familiarise myself with the layout of the land as it were. Helps you get settled more easily. You also get a feel for the tone of the place and any potential safety issues. So yes there will be nerves but I'll manage them by knowing I've covered as many bases as possible.Originally Posted by Teresa
Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed
Nicole, I know exactly what you're talking about. It can be hard with work and all. Take it slow and do something small,even if it's just going for a walk around or a wee bit of shopping. You don't have to put yourself under the added pressure of a night out straight away. No, you haven't lost your bottle girl. Don't stress and it will all come together. ☺
I get a little nervous when I go to places I have never been. I just brush it off and walk past it and enjoy being out and about. I have never regretted any of my outings, always a thrill.
I consider myself at least a little bit of an anglophile, but I'm not familiar with the term "lost my bottle". Anyone care to clue an American in?
Hi Ash, it means to lose your nerve, chicken out.
Nicole, how does someone like you bottle it? I've seen pics of you out and about and wish I had 20% of your general look. I wish I was near, I'd seriously drag you out to a local pub with an English folk group playing.Does such a thing exist? It does in reverse.
Becky
Last edited by reb.femme; 05-06-2017 at 11:59 AM.
Thanks girls for all your advice on thisI know I'm probably over thinking it as usual
My Instagram xnicolex1988
It took me a while to figure out that "lost your bottle" is Brit for "lost my courage". I guess I need to get out more, or maybe just watch some more British movies.
But, it turns out that one of the etymologies suggested is:
The simplest and probably the best explanation is that bottle originally stood for the courage that comes out of a bottle and has gradually come to mean genuine courage.
That means my sly reference to "Trans Potion Number Nine" (a switch from the song "Love Potion Number Nine.") in post #6 above was "spot on".
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
In days of old when knights were bold...actually, during Royal Navy conflicts with Dutch Navy donkey's years ago, came the belief that the Dutch had to be drunk to come out to fight and this is still known as 'Dutch Courage', when anyone is 'up for it' when sozzled. Sorry to my European neighbours, who we love muchly these days.
Becky
Nicole,
It is just that you have got out of practice, stage fright sets in even after a short sojourn from dressing.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
I will also add this, if it helps any...
Back during my totally en femme days, what made things a little easier for me was to gradually ease into everything.
For example, going out clubbing with friends one night? I'd give myself plenty of time to get all dolled-up at home, then chill out a bit as I grew accustomed to how I looked & felt.
Once I regained a bit of formerly-lost confidence, out the door I'd go -- to drive to my drag queen friend's house. Oftentimes she was home alone, as her partner worked long hours. She may or may not have been all dolled-up, as well (but usually not). And there, I'd hang out a bit, maybe have a drink or two. And I got even more used to being en femme, this time in front of someone I knew as we interacted with each other.
And then? The two of us would head out to *another* friend's house, where others would be. A bit more hanging out as a group, and perhaps another drink or two.
*Finally*, we'd all head out to our first stop out in public, for a night of fun.
I guess you could say I gradually acclimated myself in stages. I found it really helped me with confidence & what-not, because I know it can be a little nerve-racking sometimes.
It's sort of like this: Throw a frog in boiling water, and it will jump right out. But place it in some warm water, and *slowly* bring it to a boil, and, well...
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