I've had a couple days so far of a long, long weekend "home alone" as my beloved travels.
Even day one, the first full day of being Ilene, was satisfying but today was somehow special.
I returned from the morning bike ride, washed and shaved well and put on what I might call "Mixed Mode, Type I" (photo provided). I wore leggings with a tunic length embroidered top; no wig (just a ball cap). I had my gold ear hoops, and a splash of neutral pink lipstick; open toe sandals with painted nails. It was, for me, the perfect casual outfit for around the house and when it came time to get some lunch and run a few chores, I took the look out for a ride.
First stop was my favorite local burger joint. We go there often and the clerks know me as a frequent customer (but not like this, in women's clothing). It was lunch and the place was packed. Yes. I was aware that I drew a few looks, but damn it...... I liked what I had on, looked good and just bucked up the stern resolve to look everyone in the eye and smile. The counter clerk was great and polite to no end. I ate alone in a booth and quietly left, though I know the pair of blue-hair ol' ladies in the booth across from me seemed to have a little bit of a "hey, look there" moment.
Friday Lunch Shopping-FC.jpeg
I then went to OUR grocery store; I mean... the one we almost always shop. I went through the produce (bananas) and was served at the deli counter. I know the clerk knows me as (again) a frequent customer. I must admit her face beamed at the sight of me in earrings, light makeup and what might be women's clothing. The final checkout clerk also paid extra attention to my feminine (yet clearly male) appearance as I entertained a baby in the shopping cart in front of me. I took my few groceries and (proudly) strode out of the store where everyone knows me otherwise. My first (somewhat) female appearance in a local public place that knows me.
I was amazed at how good it felt; almost calming. It was like an inner peace coming over me as I was going about everyday business AS Me. Amazing. It felt so comfortable. I can hardly wait for the day when I can go in there in a skirt or a dress and no one will be surprised or care. (I don't think anyone cares now, but I'm doing this "going out" in small steps.)
I had a high school baseball game to umpire in the late afternoon, so I changed back into full Guy Mode. But when I returned I donned a favorite dress [they're all favorites, like children], for an evening home alone with Ilene. I didn't put on my hip padding or any shaping garments; just a bra and panties; thigh high stockings and heels;.... and the dress.
I stood out on the back deck viewing the mountains, dressed, having a drink. Dusk's breeze stirred the skirt of the blue and brown dress I have on (now). With no hot pantyhose, corsets or foundation garments, the silky feel of the blowing fabric on my legs and the breeze up my skirt felt amazing. It was like the dress was petting me. I was having a wonderful inner-girl moment. Everything just felt so RIGHT.
What I am wearing this evening, relaxing.
Ilene Standing in B&B dress-FC.jpg
Tomorrow I have a full morning of baseball, but the afternoon and evening belong to Ilene. Taking her out and about is getting to be quite natural. I'm changing. This CD life is making me realize deep wonderful things about myself I never dared explore.
