My wife knows I CD and is supportive, but as I have gotten much older and now see a "old man" in a dress when I look in the mirror, I find I am embarrassed by how I look and do not want to dress in front of her.
I should add I had a period of not dressing for about 10 years and have recently just got back into it.
Maybe I just need to get back into the game and regain my confidence. Has anyone else experienced feelings like this?
Karen
I think you answered your own question but, yes, I've had similar feelings.
You are fortunate in that you have a supportive SO. Have you talked to your SO about it? I think you should. Maybe there's some things she think would look good on you. That's a real confidence booster for me when my SO suggests outfits.
Lauren
Lauren Nicole DeHart
Call me Nikki
Everyone ages, Karen. Men, women, even cross-dressers. I found myself in a situation like yours a while back and just decided to embrace it. Started dressing "age appropriate" and have never felt better about myself.
Hugs,
Kelly Marie
I feel that way sometimes too. It's usually when the Pink Fog is not as thick. I find that as I age, I yearn to be pretty. I don't own anything frumpy yet, hope I never do. Oh well....I feel pretty on the inside even if I'm a middle aged man in a dress!
Lace and Smiles,
Lisa
I'm replying because you have referred to confidence.
I use my confidence every day and you may not be an "old man" but a mature woman,
lets go there instead!
Stacy
STOP, Well I just dance the way I feel
Stop breathing imagine none of this is real
Well I just dance the way I feel
Well I just dance the way I feel
Well I just dance the way I feel "Ou Est Le Swimming Pool"
I will admit that I don't care much for who I see in the mirror either. But how I feel out ranks how I think I look. I love dressing, that is all there is to it. Weather I look good or not doesn't matter at this point in the game. I feel awesome. One day I will will look good for at least a minute or two but for now I am quite content just feeling special.
It's scary at first. I know that I was petrified the first time, then after that I only wanted her to see me dressed fully and not the process along the way.
Now it's second nature and I don't even think about it. We dress together to go out, share clothes and makeup tips and just have fun.
Give it a chance and don't be so critical of yourself. We all tend to be our worst critics because we want to look "just so". Not everyone is a model or movie star, some of us are just average, everyday women.
I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !
Karen - you might want to examine your role models. If they're women who are significantly younger than you, then you're bound for disappointment. Try looking for good looking women in your age range and start trying to achieve their look. If you had been born a woman you'd be your current age now -- how would she look?
I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.
Yes. But the feeling is as true for anybody past middle-age regardless of how they choose to dress isn't it?Originally Posted by Karen Wilder
Aren't you just describing how ageing sucks?
But I do sympathise- for me it's about my size rather than my facial appearance- good make up and a wig can take 30 years off you.
Well 25.
I used to have a short attention spa
I'm 72 and it is sometimes hard to face the reality. We often try to look much younger and with some it works, but in my experience with most it doesn't. As others have suggested go with age appropriate. Careful makeup can take a few years off, but for the most part going back beyond maybe 62 comes across as fake. As Pat suggests, if your role models are young you are likely to be disappointed. And after a 10 year hiatus your self concept probably is trying to go back there and not see what was before. Time for an update?
even though my wife is tolerant of Giselle i still feel embarassed to dress in front of her, guess it will always be that way?
Karen,
I've got 16 years on you and as long as I can put makeup on I'm not going to let age stop me, I've only just got it all together in the last year or so by going out socially so a few lines and wrinkles aren't going to stop me just yet.
I will admit I don't dress round the wife because of my DADT situation , she just thinks I will look stupid like an old grandma , I recently bought a new wig and the sales lady thought I was in my late forties, did I feel good after that comment !!
My wife knows and doesn't really care if I dress. I sometimes underdress when I think I'm not in the fog as deep. It seems to calm the inner beast. Yes I'm now an older man and sometimes I have felt foolish still dressing and playing dress up. I definitely don't look like it did in my teens. We didn't take pictures then heck cameras were scarce then. Guess I could have carved a picture on a stone. In my fifties I started taking a few shots and actually looked fairly acceptable. My wife helped me a lot then. Now I try not to dress as much in front of her as I almost feel silly. An old, nearly 70 just looks like an old grandma. When I get a spurt of the pink though I play usually alone more. I'm not as embarrassed as thinking just an old man in a dress.
It's just the opposite around our house. My wife doesn't like to dress in front of me, but I don't hesitate to dress as I please in front of her. She's fine with me being dressed around the house, so why would I seek privacy getting dressed? To her credit, she'll candidly tell me when she thinks something looks good on me, or when something doesn't look good on me. I'll even ask for her opinion now and then. Which blouse looks better with a certain skirt for example. She does the same with me, so why not? Funny thing though...I'll stand in front of her in my lingerie asking her opinion about the blouses, where she won't stand in front of me in her lingerie. She'll ask my opinion after she's dressed then change if need be. I certainly don't consider myself an exhibitionist, just confident and efficient.
Karen
great thread, I know the feeling recently had a week to dress and get out and I didn't. Just had other things going on usually I can dress pretty much when ever the mood strikes and do maybe a couple of times a month. But this time no one was around the house so no one to bother me.I just couldn't get into it. Did think about it but just had other things going on. Wish I understood this thing of ours
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee
Hello,
As a wife I must chime in and say with a smile " I feel like an old lady in a dress " you are getting older and so is sheage appropriate translated = hide the effects of gravity. Toss the mini and get buetiful. Hug
Hello everyone,
thank you for all for your responses. It is great to get different opinions.
Lauren asked if I talked to my wife about how I feel,
I am slowly building up to talking to her. I don't want to jump into the deep end just yet, I'm content so stroll around here in the shallow end just now.
Jennie wondered if my role models are young women,
My wife is the same age as me and she is beautiful and does not look her age, she is my role model.
Karen
Last edited by Karen Wilder; 04-08-2017 at 11:25 AM. Reason: want to consolidate my replies.
I'll be 70 this summer. I read the obituaries all the time to check for my name. It has not appeared yet. I see too many obituaries for too many folks way younger than I. My wife is not supportive. It's DADT which works well. I stay away from mirror images that are close up. Yep, I'm aging. It's a fact of life. My grandmothers lived to ages 83 and 93. My mother to 92. Great aunts to 96 and 103. They looked their ages. All I can say for myself is I try to act my age and dress appropriately. You're 50, right? That is hardly an age to start worrying about aging. Do an assessment of yourself. Is it the lines on your face? Is it your skin? Is it weight issues? Loss of hair? Somethings can be changed: weight loss, wig, hosiery for legs. Natural women do it. So can you.
No kidding! I truly don't think there is an explanation. Oh well.... just go with the flow!
Lisa
Well for what it's worth i will be 60 in October and my view is all you can do is try and look your best. If it cheers you up I reckon as far as looking half decent you are probably best to be 18 to 25 or 50 to 65 +. My top tip ios not go for the mini skirt and 40 double DD look. Dress just a little older than you are in a classy way and you will get your confidence back. My favourite "elderly" CD'er on Flickr is Candy Church and she has all manner of looks and styles but she rocks the classy business lady look in my opinion. Age wise she describes herself "as old as dirt", love that saying. So take a look and think of yourself as in your prime and enjoy.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/boobs2...in/dateposted/
I was in a similar situation. My wife and I met later in life and I told her about Jenn once I realized just how serious the relationship was. She was great about it and often helped pick out cloths for Jenn. However, I felt odd about actually appearing dressed in front of her. It was totally me, not any adverse vibes from here. Just my personal feelings about what a guy should be in a marriage. Eventually, and this took years, I was able to overcome that and now am happy to be dressed in my wife's presence.
She will often offer suggestions about what goes with what and how to look more "natural". I tend to dress to blend-in but Jenn does have a more flamboyant side than my wife does and sometimes dresses to "young" for her age.
Anyway, just wanted to offer another data point to the discussion.
Jenn A --- nothing fancy, just me.
If she is supportive, she can help you look better. I am older and it takes longer to make myself look good. But the right foundation. brows and eyes shadow can make anyone look good. So get her to help you and don't be afraid ti dress in front of her.
Part Time Girl
I am fortunate to have a wife that has supported me for almost 30 years of my cross dressing. I wear only sexy clothes because i feel prettier that way. I know most don't like the word sissy but i embrace it. Tell her how you feel, you may never know how she feels otherwise
Karen:
I was much the same way; Only dressed in front of my wife on special occasions.
My wife would buy me things and I was afraid to try them on.
She did help me a few times to get dressed witch boosted my confidence.
Now that she passed, I dress all the time around the house. I just wish she
was here to give me advice.
Rader
I'm in the exact same boat. When dressed by myself I'm fine, but with my wife, (Who is completely supportive), I just feel so embarrassed. I tell myself its something I do just for me, but I know that's a lie. It's the Embarrassment, I really want to share this more with her, but i'm afraid for no reason.
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