Embarassed to dress around SO

[Lacey CD]

I used to see an elderly psychiatrist for ADD meds. He was in his early 80's and looked at least 10 years younger. One day during a med check I asked him what his secret was. He said emphatically "no alcohol and a really good moisturizer". His words stuck with me and about 6 months later I decided to give up alcohol and started taking care of my skin. It's been almost 15 months and I'm happy to report I now like the face looking back at me in the mirror. Mind you, my drinking at the time had gotten excessive so quitting had more to do with making a healthy lifestyle choice but the toll it had taken on my looks was palpable and as it turns out, reversible!!

[Francene Lola Dupree]

I found this thread very useful, and it sparked a conversation with my SO which led to significant progress with dressing together.

I am in my early 30s and athletic, I have never had any self image issues but I had become very embarrassed to dress in front of my partner. I had never even had the courage to show her my photos.

Anyway, talking about it helped. Which led to her seeing the photos, a shopping trip, full make up and my first proper photos for 8 years.

Talking is always the best way forwards,

Much Love,
Francene

[Lacey86]

Awesome thread. My wife has seen me before and has wanted to see less and less over the years. I'm 30 and I'm just now dropping a bunch of weight I gained in college. I was super embarrassed to dress while I was chubbier as I was always super athletic when I was younger. Now wife sees me dressed less and less often due to both having kids and less time to dress and her not wanting to participate as much. I dropped 30 lbs so far and I have been feeling way cuter lately but find I'm now even more embarrassed and being in full femme in front of wife sounds scary! Funny since she has seen it before but I guess we are all self conscious to some extent?

[Barbara Black]

Same here, I don't like looking at myself much either most of the time. But it isn't all about appearance anyway. I love the feeling of being dressed, the blowing of my skirt in the wind, sun on my stockings, the click of my heels, all those sensual things.

[~Joanne~]

I have felt like this a million times over. Especially when fully dressed and she wants to take the pictures. I find it very hard to do feminine poses with her behind the camera. It's just a thing i guess cause some days I have no problem at all.

[Christina Page]

I prefer dressing around my wife. Who else will help tighten my corset and zip up my dress?
I'm starting to enjoy clothes shopping with her too.

[SunHun]

Once for almost a week I wore my SO's tops, shirts, tights and socks for the entire evenings in front of her and she was okay with it as long as it was just the two of us. I don't remember why I stopped. I think one evening the door bell rang, and I ran to the bedroom to change while she opened the door. It was a neighbor who needed help with transportation so I just put on jeans and jacket over the top and tights and drove him to where he wanted to go. That wasn't why I stopped but it was kind of funny when it happened. If I borrow a cardigan or a sweatshirt from my SO's closet, she doesn't resist but she does chuckle in finding it cute sort of way.

[Beverley Sims]

If your wife doesn't mind continue dressing and try to fine tune the bumpy parts of your appearance.

Your wife is likely to guide you anyway.

[Judy-Somthing]

I've been basically in the closet thru my marriage.

My wife has seen me dressed five times at Halloween parties where your suppose to look like a man in a dress.

The one time I tried to put some effort into my dress, hair, and makeup she didn't like it and made me mess my wig and do sloppy makeup.

I was so bummed.

[Angie G]

My dressing as I've aged never came into question. Seems the older I get the more I want to dress.
Angie

[IleneD]

Oh how I'd delight in dressing en femme as Ilene for my wife.; the FULL effect dress up.

While she knows I CD and sees various incomplete pieces of Ilene, she's never seen me all put together. It's been about a year since I came out, and an up/down time of adjusting our relationship to deal with The News. At times she's actually purchased clothing for me (Ilene), yet other times she's been wildly freaked out about "it". Without her so much as saying so, I've found some of the limits that make her uncomfortable.

The Wife has seen me in a dress, in panties and lingerie, in leggings. She's seen my wig, the entire wardrobe. She's seen me with some make up (not a full application). But the one thing that appears to disturb her is BODY SHAPING; when I wear breast forms (and bra, she doesn't care for a bra), a corset or hip pads and re-shape my (male athletic) body into a more female shape. The clothes seem to be one thing but the actual visual transformation of my shape into that of a woman upset her.

We've talked a little about it. She wonders what is the NEED to do such a thing if it's "all about the clothes". Apparently it is not with me and Ilene. I like to think of it as helping shape and form The Dress in a proper manner, but I also enjoy the magic of the transformation.

I'm still talking to her, and want my SO to see ALL of Ilene. I keep slowly working the issue and even hoping she would help me with a make up application. I give her all love and credit. Bless her heart, she's truly trying to understand what's happened and IS happening to me. She's trying. The day will come.

[sometimes_miss]

Even for the brief time that my ex wife allowed me to dress up, I felt uncomfortable around her when 'en femme'. She came home from work one night early, and when she walked into the living room, I automatically got up, and told her to give me a few minutes, and I'd go change my clothes (implying that I would go put on my male clothing). She said I didn't have to; I replied, 'Well, I still just feel kind of silly dressed like this when you're around'. Her response? 'Well, you DO look silly. But if you want to look silly, then it's perfectly Ok with me', basically telling me that it WASN'T perfectly Ok by the tone of her voice and how she said it, but technically, she could take the high ground by sort of saying it was allowed. From then on, I always knew that she would consider me to be doing something ridiculous whenever I was crossdressed. So that did put a damper on ever feeling good when I was dressed up and she was in the house.

[LeannS]

I enjoy dressing but looking in the mirror I see a hairy mess but who am I trying to impress the cats? oh well I dress because it feels great and I am me

Leann

[Periwinkle]

Oh, man. I'm definitely embarrassed about it. My SO is alright with me crossdressing, but I really don't like to do it in front of him. I don't want him to stop seeing me as a man because I wear a skirt and a wig sometimes. It's fine when I'm with my best friend or my family, but I try to avoid doing it in front of my SO.

[SharonDenise]

I came out to my wife while we were still dating. She accepted and supported my crossdressing for the 40 years that we were married. After the kids left home, it was easier to dress but I usually only dressed up on Saturday night. I did wear nightgowns to bed, nightly. It wasn't until towards the end that I started wearing make-up and a wig in front of her. I guess I was reticent about it. She did help me pick out a gorgeous wig, the one in my picture. I would say that even though she accepted it, maybe I did have hesitations about going totally "en femme" in front of her. Or it could just have been a gradual evolution. My wife died three years ago. Since then, I've become more open with my crossdressing and joined two local crossdressing/ transgender support groups.

[michelle.foster]

I was that way for the longest while. I don't know why I felt uncomfortable is she saw me putting on my bra and panties but I was. Then I got over it. Now we live in a nude resort and I don't get to dress as often as I did. I don't know which I like more being naked or dressing up. I have had time when I HAD to dress and did, spent the day off site roaming about So Cal somewhere. Actually, I feel another NEED coming on. I guess I need to plan a day trip.

[Karen Wilder]

I'm in the exact same boat. When dressed by myself I'm fine, but with my wife, (Who is completely supportive), I just feel so embarrassed. I tell myself its something I do just for me, but I know that's a lie. It's the Embarrassment, I really want to share this more with her, but i'm afraid for no reason.

JennyLiz this is exactly the way I feel!

Hugs,

Karen

[Fiona123]

I'm embarrassed too. I am working hard to move beyond that. We are on a waiting list for couples therapy at a transgender center run by a uni in the city.

[Dana44]

I have to say that with your SO, we help each other. She has trouble with some stuff and I help her and she helps me get stuff adjusted. It is really nice to have that.

[Nikki A.]

I am a widower for about 10 yrs now so I'm going by my experiences. I told my wife that I CDed while dating, she wasn't thrilled but accepting, as she said its just clothes.
As time progressed I must admit I got more into the overall look and there was a discussion on what bothered her and we set some limits. No going out dressed (other than Halloween "my" Nikki day), and the strange thing was if I wore a bra and it gave me "breasts" even in the house she kinda freaked. Dressing when she was around was always an iffy proposition, sometimes she was OK with it and other times not. If she thought I looked too good, it threatened her womanhood, if I looked like a man in a dress she was OK with it. She's probably rolling in her grave now when I go out, cause I think I look pretty decent (not good) especially with a pushup bra and showing a little cleavage.

[sally silverfox]

Google mature crossdresers. Older girls are as attractive as mature GGs are. Dress your,age and enjoy. Conservative and well dressed is the key to being a mature,CD I believe.