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Thread: Am I Gay?

  1. #1
    Closet cd Sherry Lynn's Avatar
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    Am I Gay?

    I have been dressing for a long time now but have seldom lusted for a man. However, I sure like being around other crossdressers. My friend says I'm gay because I know they're really guys in women's clothes and I have sex with them. I feel differently as the CDs I hookup with, I view as ladies with a little extra. What's the difference?

  2. #2
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    Simple.
    Are you physically and mentally attracted to men?
    If yes you are gay.
    You say you aren't so you aren't gay.

    Like me you attracted to women. Crossdressers are women when dressed up.

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member Georgette_USA's Avatar
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    My question is "Why do you care what others think". We can be attracted to many for different reasons.

    CDs are not women just because they dress up.

  4. #4
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SometimesKairi View Post
    Like me you attracted to women. Crossdressers are women when dressed up.
    Not exactly. If you're a male and have the desire to interact with a penis sexually (whether in reality or fantasy), whether through intercourse, oral or manually, well then I would say that you're gay or at least bi.
    If the very thought of that disgusts you and/or turns you off, then you're NOT gay (or bi). I went through this very conundrum myself, when I was a teen.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  5. #5
    Mannequiniste ! Stacy Darling's Avatar
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    So there is this what appears to be a very faint line which for me is yet to be "Crossed" Depends how pretty she is maybe?
    That was a bit heavy for a Monday morning!

    Stacy
    STOP, Well I just dance the way I feel
    Stop breathing imagine none of this is real

    Well I just dance the way I feel
    Well I just dance the way I feel
    Well I just dance the way I feel
    "Ou Est Le Swimming Pool"

  6. #6
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SometimesKairi View Post
    Simple.
    Are you physically and mentally attracted to men?
    If yes you are gay.
    I disagree. The reason is that the terms straight, gay, lesbian and bisexual all have what's called a cisgender encoding. That means for them to make sense, the person who is the subject of the term has to be cisgender (their gender aligns with their sex.) A man is gay if he is cisgender and attracted to other men, a woman is lesbian if she is cisgender and attracted to other women, etc. The terms fall apart when a transgender person is the subject because they are not aligned to their sex. A trans woman is a woman, so if she is attracted to another woman she would be a lesbian -- but a trans woman has male sex, so if she's attracted to a woman she'd be straight. You can't be both straight and lesbian at the same time, so a paradox occurs. Traditional sexual orientation terms don't apply to transgender people.
    I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
    I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
    I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.

  7. #7
    Stop that, it's silly.... DIANEF's Avatar
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    Are you gay? What if you are. Peoples sexual orientation can be very fluid and whatever form of attraction you have shouldn't matter. Personally putting on a dress and wig doesn't temporarily change my feelings with regards to attraction, I love women and want contact only with them. But if a 'man in a dress' is a woman to you why care what anyone else thinks.
    Here today, gone tomorrow....

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pat (aka Jennie) View Post
    I disagree. The reason is that the terms straight, gay, lesbian and bisexual all have what's called a cisgender encoding. That means for them to make sense, the person who is the subject of the term has to be cisgender (their gender aligns with their sex.) A man is gay if he is cisgender and attracted to other men, a woman is lesbian if she is cisgender and attracted to other women, etc. The terms fall apart when a transgender person is the subject because they are not aligned to their sex. A trans woman is a woman, so if she is attracted to another woman she would be a lesbian -- but a trans woman has male sex, so if she's attracted to a woman she'd be straight. You can't be both straight and lesbian at the same time, so a paradox occurs. Traditional sexual orientation terms don't apply to transgender people.
    Ah my apologies.
    I am still learning all this new stuff

  9. #9
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Well, you're not exactly straight (100% hetero).
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  10. #10
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    Well this is a bit of a sticky situation, I'm what I believe am hetro. There's a but coming, but when dressed and I go for a drive, I dress to draw attention from men in vans and pick ups and truckers. I'd never had any involvement of any kind with a man while dressed, but always wondered what it would feel like to have my legs felt or getting attention and being treated like a woman.
    I don't know about the sex, maybe a few drinks and looking and feeling like a women!!!!! I don't know, maybe a lot of drinks, lots of drinks.Lol
    I could imagine when dressed and looking and feeling like a women, one can get caught up in the fantasy.

  11. #11
    I am me! TrishaTX's Avatar
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    Lol this is always my favorite because you are going to get 1 million answers. The rainbow spectrum is huge, I strongly doubt anyone is 100% anything,,,even if I knew the spectrum I couldn't tell you where I am.
    No regrets except I should have got dressed & stepped out sooner.

  12. #12
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    Kairi if you are new to the scene its best not to assume anything.
    You may think one thing now and a year from now it could be very different.
    Sherry Lynn your friend is just expressing and opinion nothing more.
    Sex just to have sex seems ridiculous to me.
    What do you do go to bars and pick up other CD's just to bang them? If so what does that say about you?

  13. #13
    Queen of Chinatown jennifer0918's Avatar
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    This is a tricky subject,if you were in Brazil you will be considered gay.In America well its a different story,you would be bi.I agree with Pats point "traditional sexual orientation terms don't apply to transgender people"this by far nails it right on.

  14. #14
    Member biannne's Avatar
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    I think there should be different term to describe transgendered person attracted to other TGs.
    I am like most, I am attracted to other MtF TG or CD but I do not consider myself gay.

  15. #15
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Agree with Trisha. Sexuality, like gender, is more of a scale than a switch, and it sounds like you're somewhere in the vast grey area.

  16. #16
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    I think there are too many terms and labels in our community lol.

    You either want the d or you don't. Just depends on how you feel about that.

  17. #17
    Senior Member
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    Strictly speaking, you are what you are. Don't worry about the label, just enjoy being yourself.

  18. #18
    Member XemmaX's Avatar
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    well my advice to you is don't worry about it. that's no one's business but your own who you find attractive or not. i mean it's all a grey area really but all i can say it sounds like you are attracted to feminity with or without a penis. but if you are having fun and feel good when you have sex with other cd's keep on doing it and **** the labels!
    Last edited by XemmaX; 04-10-2017 at 11:48 AM.

  19. #19
    Silver Member LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    I was watching a documentary about Thai ladyboys and this interviewer asked a guy if his attraction to ladyboys made him gay. His response was that many of the ladyboys were so pretty and feminine that he would have to be gay to NOT find them attractive. Of course, attraction to transpeople as transpeople isn't straight but it isn't really gay or bi either. The problem is attempting to stuff an infinite variety of sexual attractions into a limited number of categories. Sexologist Ray Blanchard, who loves to generate new paraphilias, calls it gynandromorphophilia. Sexologist John Money calls it gynemimetophilia. There might be a subtle difference between the terms but I'm too lazy and disinterested to look it up. For myself, I'm attracted to women but I'm also attracted to penises. I have no attraction to men or masculinity including masculine women. I have no attraction to transwomen as such. In an ideal world, women would have penises and would know how to use them. It would be something like the Japanese concept of futanaria. But futanari only exist in the same world as flying unicorns. In real life it can only be simulated. Maybe Dr. Blanchard can invent a new paraphilia that fits my particular set of sexual attractions. Futaphilia!! Believe me, I would rather be gay or straight or bisexual than whatever it is I am.

  20. #20
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    The difference is anatomy.

  21. #21
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    This one's so simple!

    If you're attracted to female parts you're straight or bi. If you're attracted to boy parts you're gay or bi.

    If you're attracted to boy parts only when dressed? U live on a river in Egypt!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  22. #22
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    It's not gay, It's Queer-though I hate that word as it was a Slur used in the 90s.

    @Docrobbysherry. I always thought being gay bi or straight was mostly about emotional attraction than sexual fantasy.

  23. #23
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    Where on earth did you hear that redtea ?
    Sherry is right.
    Gay and queer mean the same thing essentially.

  24. #24
    Stop that, it's silly.... DIANEF's Avatar
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    I assume your last line means 'in denial' (in the Nile) Doc? Love the outfit BTW!!
    Here today, gone tomorrow....

  25. #25
    Member Lacey CD's Avatar
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    I went through a period in my 20's where I thought I might be gay so I gave it a shot and went on a few dates. Long story short, I just couldn't stomach being in a full on relationship with a man even though I loved the sex. I also dated an older CD for a while during that time although it was more of a friendship. I needed those experiences to make a decision on how I wanted to live my life and the lifestyle I wanted to lead. I met my wife soon after that and after full disclosure and some painful break ups and make ups we took the plunge. It's been 20 years and I still struggle with bisexual desires. So what does that mean? Hell I don't know and I'm beyond trying to figure it out any more. I'm me and I'm pretty happy with who I am these days.

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