Purge and increase the urge?

[Tamsin Secret]

Hi all,

I have gone through various purges and always ended up replacing what i had gotten rid of.

My latest purchases have extended to a very cheap wig and inexpensive make up so i could at least experiment when i got the fleeting chance to try out new things.

I recently thought about purging again (mainly guilt related as in the closet) but rode out those feelings and what i have actually found is that my desire to dress, although still there, is suppressed enough for me to not take risks that may lead to me getting caught out.

I feel more relaxed in myself knowing that my little hoard is still there and not the uncontrollable urge to replace and then subsequently try to dress at every opportunity no matter what the cost.

Don't get me wrong, my hiding place is not ideal (boot of the car) and this came to the forefront the other day when i was involved in a minor accident and dread set in about what i would do when the car went to the garage to be fixed (everything worked out btw).

Anyway going back to my original point. I feel that purging causes heightened and more uncontrollable cd feelings than if you just keep that little secret exactly that and don't give into the guilt/purge god's.

That's my experience anyhow 😝

MissS

[Lana Mae]

Rule of thumb: DO NOT PURGE! The feelings just keep coming back! Store it somewhere when the urge lessens. Bring it back out when the urge returns! This is not going away! You also will save a lot of money in not having to replace everything! Hugs Lana Mae

[Evie82]

I agree with Lana - I did it once and was miserable for ages afterwards. If you feel the desire to purge maybe find a different hiding place for your gear. A storage locker maybe? At least then it's safe and retrievable when (that's when, not if) the urge comes back.

[Dana44]

My Last purge of everything. Well I missed stuff from that and you can't quite replace everything. Like the older pumps with the nice rounded front. Now they are triangular. Also my denim skirt. Yeah bought some but still miss the old ones. My rule now is DO not PURGE as the stuff is hard to replace but I have a really nice clothes and heels and sandals and stuff and also a new makeup box. i always wonder if I just added on what I would have now. Oh well.

[SometimesKairi]

Crikey, you ladies must be a rich lot if you can afford to throw away clothes!
Here's a suggestion, give them to me haha

[Rachael Leigh]

I'm really not sure what causes the purge, oh sure guilt is a part of it but maybe it's more then that.
Because once the deed is done at least in my case I felt anger after a few days as to why did I do that, why is having female clothing such a guilt trip. There just clothes, so when my last purge happend I did try to work on not wanting to dress but I knew very quickly that just wasn't possible. So when I began the process of buying agsin I knew this was a
permanent condition and there would be no more purges.
I just had to accept the fact this was a part of me.
There are still ebbs and flows but no more purges

[Tama]

I have probably gone through the toss-buy cycle a dozen times in many years...since the late 1970s anyway...
I too, have learned to not waste, but WANT (more!)
Wish I remembered the name of the someone from here who said it best...take the stuff your gonna use again, vacuum-seal it, and hide it well (it will be flat now too!) and when your ready, VOILA!

[Becky Blue]

I am pleased to say I have never purged. I did lose Becky completely for almost 3 years, but I knew that one day she would be back so I forced myself not to throw my stash away. When I got her back i was so pleased I had not purged. I understand that often one purges because of guilt but know that whatever you are feeling will change at some future point and you will regret it.

[Sandin Meknickers]

I purged half of myself for a long time. I don't recommend it and don't think of myself in terms of halves anymore. To be honest, this gender bit was quite a minor part of the epic demolition job at the time.

It's inappropriate to feel guilty for just being. Behaviours are a different thing and many of us earn our guilt.

[sharonsdream]

About 6 years ago my wife found my stash and burned it. Can not replace the mini skirts. Tank tops that made outfits and some panties and bras. And my favorite heels. Lesson. Don't keep all your stuff in one place. I now get to wear pantyhose and panties every day with her acceptance

[XemmaX]

i purged once and never again. im not sure where the feeling came from exactly i do remember being some sort of mixed feelings of guilt and feeling like freak but i have mostly managed to transcend these feelings.. but when the urge goes away the clothes just stay in the special drawer, i know where they are when i want but they are not out in the open.

[Diane Taylor]

I purged only once and a week later realized that purging was a waste of time (and money) and that the urge to dress was going to always be with me. Haven't even thought about purging since then.

[Rhandi Spencer]

Wow, the timing of this post is amazing.
For the last several months the desire to dress has been GONE.
I have not had guilt or shame about crossdressing. I even came out to some close friends and no negative reaction. Lots of questions.
Anyway, I did give some clothes to a friend of mine that knows about my crossdressing. What was silly, as I was getting stuff put together for her, I had clothes that still had the tag on them and I forgot I had bought them. At that point I determined my spending was out of control. I have kept quite a few items, but have scaled back drastically.

Just no desire so I will see where it goes. With that you probably will not see me on the forums much.

Everyone have an amazing and beautiful day

Heidi (I think)

[SometimesKairi]

That's fair enough Heidi
These things can come and go like waves but even if you've decided not to dress anymore, all that matters is that YOU are happy

If we don't see you around, good luck with things

[Stacy Darling]

You have that Secret all worked out Miss.
I keep my things in a safe place or two and know that they are there when I need them. I keep my bag very close to me as it contains my essential make-up.
A bit like a security blanket! I know where my things are and that appears to have some control over the anxious feelings, which I'm sure to have!
So the adverse of heightening my feelings is knowing that my girl stuff is quite near bye!

Hope that made sense,

Stacy!

[Francene Lola Dupree]

I have purged several times, mostly due to changes of circumstances and a 'new beginning' without dressing which always turned out to be a false start.

I never felt that the purge itself increased my urge to dress, but repression of my natural desires meant that when eventually I relented the following binge was magnified.