"Crossdressing" is an offensive term...

[CarlaWestin]

I just read the banner at the top of the page.
It says, CROSSDRESSERS.COM



I'm still waiting to be offended.

[mykell]

i think that jenkins was placing CDers into the umbrella term of transgender, and singled out that term " crossdressers " in the building as it was intended to be by the person sending the e-mail.....a rude and unwarranted insult.

i think that jenkins using facebook to call it out was genius, staff and speaker had to deal with it then and now while face to face with the students. loud and proud sorta way

patti just have some salvation that one day these students will be the staffers and pages that will be working in the building and a possible scenario of a e-mail like this may be sent instead, "a group of our "peers" will be visiting the building today."

bigots exist and some of them are in our group, i dont think this is what the intention was from jenkins or the group this time.

jenkins simply took initiative to out the bigotry of the e-mail and stuffed it in the face of Macall while still in the building and made him address it......to me he jenkins deserves kudos....

[Marcelle]

Hi Patti,

I find that terms are relevant to the user and unfortunately, even those who should know better let their emotions get a hold of their logic and launch with what probably at the time seemed like a valid response. My understanding was that those in the group identified as trans (be it TS, gender fluid, gender non-binary) and when they saw the article . . . emotion takes hold . . . we are not cross dressers in the classic sense of the word. Is the term offensive? I agree with many here it is not in the general sense of the word. However, as I stated up front, it is relevant to the target.

I am TS and spend a lot of time educating people in my organization about being transgender. From time to time I get "oh so you are like a cross dresser" to which I reply "No I am not". I then go on to educate that cross dressing is totally acceptable and normal in the population but cross dressers (for the most part) identify as the gender assigned to them according to their biological sex. Those who are TS, gender fluid/gender non-binary do not. I don't take offense, I just educate. I don't even identify as a trans woman anymore but as a woman because I find the term "trans" superfluous. However, bear in mind that there are some in my own circle who take offense that I consider myself TS based on my chosen transition path and there are women out there who take offense that I refer to myself as a woman. People are funny creatures when it comes to emotional responses . . . best path forward IMHO is to educate.

Cheers

Marcelle

[Ressie]

He said that the children were offended but I didn't hear any of the children say anything. Is he assuming that every one of them were offended? Yes, it apparently is more PC to use the transgender when referring to a mixed group of children like this. Some of them may identify as CDs while some may not. I doubt they were all offended be called CDs as a group but some of them may have been.

There are millions of crossdressers just in the US that don't find the label offensive at all. But since some of these kids don't identify as crossdressers the guy has a point.

[XemmaX]

i think if you are a transwoman or man and some calls you a crossdresser you'd probably find that offensive or at least ignorant. the word in itself is not offensive when used in the correct context but it does seem to get used as an insult to transwomen in particular aswell as the word 'tranny' as a way to demean their identity.

[Majella St Gerard]

To a transgendered person the term crossdresser might be offensive because in their minds they are not crossdressed. I, on the other hand identify as a man and choose to wear women's clothes so I consider myself to be a crossdresser and do not take offense at the term.

[ronda]

the point is we are all under the same group as most see it how can they except us if we can't except each other we are all people and deserve respect regardless of how we are dressed or choose to dress

[Taylor186]

We can all be a bit touchy when misidentified even if the misidentified term/identification in and of itself is not offensive. If my wife called out "oooh Bill" in the midst of passionate lovemaking I would be mightily miffed. It's not that there is anything wrong with the name Bill, it's just not my name.

I few months ago I was out and someone said "oh you are kinda like a RuPaul's Drag Race, drag queen." I didn't take offense because for me when crossdressing I am in some ways performing just as a drag queen does. (A glamorous drag queen not a comedic drag queen, hopefully.) But, I'm sure there are many drag queens that would be offended that someone might think of me as me a part of their tribe, and many crossdressers who would not want to be lumped in with drag queens.

[carhill2mn]

What is offensive to me is the way that the term "crossdrresser" is so often used in a derogatory way by the media and others who are not well-informed. I have been a crossdresser for about 70 years. At this stage of my life I find that the term does not adequately describe who I think that I am. I present as a woman about 90% of the time and I know that I am not a woman. However, I would like to find a term other than crossdresser that would better describe how I think of myself .

[kimdl93]

Its true that the term cross dresser is often used in a derogatory manner, but it seems that almost any term can be similarly misused by ignorant or willfully hurtful people. Even transgender can be misinterpreted and corrupted by the ill-informed.

To Carole's point, presenting as a woman 90% of the time certainly would differentiate her from those of us who have less opportunity or interest in living as a woman. Knowing one "is not a woman" but choosing to live as a woman, would seem to fit comfortably under the gender-fluid or gender-variant category, because binary - male - doesn't appropriately apply to someone who has socially transitioned to such a great extent.

[Leslie Mary S]

"ME" is the only realistic answer I can give, the habit of labeling people to certain stereotype groups is never correct. We all are unique.

[Fiona123]

Although closeted, I consider myself transgender. I crossdress when I can. I'm not real fond of the term "crossdresser" now that the issue is raised. The term does not describe me well at all and in many contexts (but not all) has a pejorative subtext to it. Although if others want to use it that's fine.

[SometimesKairi]

See I'm messed up haha
Paul is a crossdresser sure but Kairi is just another girl.

[CONSUELO]

OK. Nothing wrong with being a male who likes to dress in female attire, hence Cross Dresser or if you like Latin you can say Trans- vestite as in dressing in the vestments of the opposite sex.

I have long noticed a tendency for some who identify as "persecuted" minorities, to behave and communicate as if they are the only valid "persecuted minority". Unfortunate, but I doubt that it will change much.
That said, I applaud Patti's response. If we want to be accepted we shall have to fight for it.

[sweetdreams]

Maybe we need sharper knives so we can slice and dice the terms more finely. Crossdresser, gender fluid, trans gender, tranvestite, etc.

I don't get too hung up on labels or terms too much. We need some terminology in order to communicate. Recently I've been focused on wig shopping. In my initial email to the retail outlet I identified myself as a crossdresser. It provided a term that was meaningful for both sides of the communication. Their response was appropriate and friendly. As I worked with the SA we both used the term crossdresser several times to reference different things. No issue. I was totally comfortable with how the conversation went. I certainly don't think crossdresser is an offensive term. Seems to hit the nail on the head for who I am and what I do.

[patti1569]

Here is the reply that I received.

Thank you for your comments and feedback regarding the recent incident at the Oklahoma State Capitol. While cross dressing or cross dressers might not be an offensive classification for you individually it was for the students and adult sponsors who attended our trip to the Capitol. None of the gender non-conforming youth, gender fluid nor transgender students or adult sponsors identified as cross dressers. They were furious and insulted to be called by what they considered an uninformed outdated term. I was there to stand up for them because they felt insulted. All of us did. Especially the suggestion that paiges and staff needed a safer place to pee. But you are definitely correct in being insulted by me suggesting that cross dressers are not an appropriate term or identity. I definitely misspoke and should have chosen a better way of expressing to House Speakers McCall's staff that the phrase was obviously meant to classify us as a danger. Instead I used the moment to make you and cross dressers feel like I thought there was something wrong with your identities and expressions. That was wrong and I should have chosen better words to defend our students and not left the suggestion that cross dressers were a shameful identity. I hope you can forgive me. Toby

[kimdl93]

Good response. At first I wasn't sure where it was headed

[Charlotte Haynes]

Accepted not excepted. Accepted means included. Excepted means not included. Common mistake but English and grammer are my thing.
Other than that, I agree. Unless we call ourselves transgender but most equate that with transsexuals.

Grammer? 😀

[Ressie]

Here is the reply that I received.

They were furious and insulted to be called by what they considered an uninformed outdated term. I was there to stand up for them because they felt insulted.

Outdated? I'm not too crazy about the newer terms, there are too many of them! It's even difficult for many on this board to keep up with the jargon. Maybe none of them identify as crossdressers, but some of them were in fact crossdressing weren't they?

[Sometimes Steffi]

I think the muggles have a problem with the 57 varieties of transgender, as in why do there have to be so many.

I usually describe myself as a crossdresser, or "just a crossdresser".

I've heard some people say that since I don't "think I'm a girl" that I'm not transgender, can never be a woman (unless I transition) and never belong in a women's room, no matter how I'm presenting. I find that offensive.

So my response is that I really consider myself bigender, but most people don't know what that is, so I simplify it by saying that I'm a crossdresser.

But the truth is, I'm not really sure what the difference is. Is there a checklist or a test that I can take that identifies one or more things that I do or don't do so I can self-identify as a either a crossdresser or bigender. IDK.

[redtea]

It's Cnn....

They are practically fake news now.

Your post only confirms that they are fake news even more. thanks =)

[Jean 103]

If You're offended by the article you have every right to let them know. For me I'm a little offended if people refer to me as a cross-dresser, even though I am. For me the clothes don't Define me they're just part of who I am.

[Bobbi46]

I would rather be called a crossdresser than a Transvestite which I think is an even worse term to use.

[Teresa]

Patti,
The reply indicates a lack of knowledge on the subject and the needs of the group attending it looks like a little more homework should have been done before the event . At least an apology was offered to your Email .

[Contessa]

Nothing can scare me away from what I am. I can not be offended I think. The fact that I am not a crossdresser has nothing to do with the email. Who ever would offended that would not change. Crossdressing suggest to me that one will be going back or un-crossdressing later. I know that the email wanted to offend. But I just do believe that anyone like most of us should be offended by what others think. Nothing can change me.