Do you really want to stop dressing ?

[Teresa]

This question is based on a question I posed in the TS section about the use of hormones and the effect on T levels. I also asked this question away from the forum and the answer is inconclusive, it may have an enormous effect on one person and nothing at all in others , the higher percentage still dressed and transitioned to some degree .

In my case I know my high T level has been the major driving force, so I asked if the level faded naturally or thorough hormones and the need faded or disappeared altogether would I appear a fraud ? All the heartache and pain over the years for myself and my family, needn't have been !

I then went onto ask do I really want to stop ? We joke sometimes about the magic pill to cure us , would we take it ?

I hate to say this but I love this side of me, the whole things of putting together outfits, learning the art of makeup, choosing the right wig and then assembling it all to be part of you that has been hidden, buried and denied for so long. When you no longer have the guilt and shame society imposes on you , it just feels good to be comfortable dressed as the female that you were partly born as. I know going out socially has made me feel more this way, but it doesn't feel a lie.
I know I have the added complication of the way my CDing started also started my problems with GD linked to AGP but that isn't for everyone and I have to find ways to deal with it . At least I know what I'm dealing with now so I can move forward with those issues

[Tracii G]

A fraud in what way?
How can you be a fraud when you are being you?
Again I think you are letting your imagination get the better of you and causing you more stress worrying about it.

[Caroline Varg]

Good question!
For me, not yet aware of my normal hormone levels and still a CD, with a potential TS journey not out of the question, it's a clear no. Even without makeup, heels or female manners, I find an inner peace by wearing female clothes. Even as female clothes are more often than not made of softer materials, like polyester or silk, make clothes in the same materials do not have the same effect on me. Relaxing after a hectic day at work is so much easier if I dress when I come home. I would not take the magic pill and miss out of dressing.

[Sandin Meknickers]

Not at the moment. Just how much is based on laziness..

[Teresa]

Tracci,
In my wife's eyes I would expect the question of why I didn't ask years ago if I could be cured. I'm sure she would consider me a fraud for doing something she basically hates when I could have possibly prevented the hiatus years ago.

I know the chances of hormones having that effect are pretty slim, they are more likely to have a feminising effect if my T levels were knocked down, it's something that I will have to decide soon. Rather than my imagination running away with me , it's the unanswered assumptions I'm trying to sort out and that was something my previous counsellor tried to cure me of.

[sometimes_miss]

What I would have liked, was for the feeling that I was supposed to be a girl, dress and behave as one, would go away, leaving me as a typical male without all the female type feelings present. Crossdressing is only a symptom of the problem. So just stopping it, won't cure me of anything. I wasn't born this way, it's more a result of what happened to me when growing up, partially due to someone else, partially due to what I did myself, which reinforced the damage that was already done. Over time, the feeling that I was supposed to dress and behave as a female didn't go away even though the initial suggestion of that was gone. Whether our gender ID becomes finalized at some point during our early life, we don't know, but it appears to have happened to me that way.
For me, crossdressing and behaving more as a girl than as a male, is a way to quiet the conflict that goes on in my mind. I can stop, but then, unable to resolve the, well, argument going on in my head in my subconscious, overwhelms my thoughts, making it difficult for me to concentrate on anything else, leaving me irritable, short tempered, and generally miserable.
So there's a lot more to stop than just crossdressing. The only way I know of that works is electroconvulsive therapy, it's often not permanent, and the patient has to keep going back for more treatments, potentially leaving them unable to function normally. As I have no wish to subject myself to something like that, currently there is no other known treatment for this.
So I continue to crossdress, 'as needed'.

[Francene Lola Dupree]

"You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe.
You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes."
Morpheus, The Matrix.

If i had a choice, i wouldn't take a magic pill to cure my crossdressing. I adore dressing and would massively miss this part of my life if i suddenly lost the desire to do it. i think it also helps me balance out some aspects of my character which i have struggled with in the past, so i worry what type of man i would become if i didn't have a woman within.

[Princess Chantal]

Do I really want to stop dressing? No, however I can't see me doing it the rest of my life. Losing interest or declining physical health may eventually wrap it up with a bow. I don't have the motivation to progress forward from where I stand now.

[Lydianne]

"If i had a choice, i wouldn't take a magic pill to cure my crossdressing. I adore dressing and would massively miss this part of my life if i suddenly lost the desire to do it. "


I think the blue pill thing gets looked at incompletely. Most think about it in terms of what one would miss. In my opinion, it would be more accurate to think about it in terms of what one never had - and that is significantly more difficult to do. After all, the pill would wipe everything that Lexi described.

You know what they say about what one never had...

A bit like, for example, a nice party going on that you are not aware of. As it's happening, you are not missing it. Your brain is probably not even thinking about parties in general. That's the blue pill. Most people think of it in terms of the nice party you were at and then left early. That's incomplete.

[Lacey86]

I've often thought I might like to stop. I am in the closet and wife is semi supportive, not quite DADT. Things would be easier if I weren't trying to spend money on things I will probably wear some for short periods of time. My spouse certainly wouldn't object if I were magically "cured". I don't love having to hide a huge part of my personality from the world either.
But I can't help that I love to dress. I have tried to repress it but it always comes back, it was never gone, it just got more pent up. When I do indulge I find myself more at ease, less angry, I'm a nicer person afterwards. So no, I don't want to stop. And I think for me that's a big step forward and it left me with a smile to type it out.

[Lana Mae]

The feelings started at 4-6 and have returned off and on my whole life! I have finally discovered what it is all about(thanks to this forum-thanks girls!)! And you want me to take this pill to make it all go away? I don't think so!!! Hugs Lana Mae My journey has really only begun and I will ride it out!

[Fiona123]

Stop dressing? Nope. Not at all. I have worked hard to accept myself as transgender. Why deny what i truly am? What I want is to dress more.

[Stacy Darling]

This as a Question for you?

Have you ever tried such medications, have you ever been right next to a person on such medication?
I need no answer!

Now I'll be nice and let you know that there is a "pill to cure us" (F@#$%OFF) being trialled. Someone I'm close to is trialling it, she is looking prettier than ever but has some serious mood swings. Hasn't turned into a boy yet!

I'd like to finish with an acronym

Stacy!

[Teresa]

Lacey,
I'm glad being honest with yourself made you smile, your little comment made my day, thanks for that .

Stacy,
The answer is yes, my social group is a mixture of mainly CDers but there are some TSs, I have been surprised at the number on hormones , some of the conversations have been very interesting, and some of the stories very sad but the great thing is we all treat each other as equals .

[Michelle marie Smith]

I have purge of all my lady items more than once! Than also more than once I feel VERY sorry for the dumpster full of not only the items but, a part of me! To hijack a term from Popeye,"I AM WHAT I AM!

[Kellitgdet]

I don't want to stop dressing, I love this part of myself. It would be like psychosugery, taking a part of me away. This is a special gift we all have. We just need to find balance. Oh wouldn't it be wonderful if we were totally socially acceptable, everyone else would be wishing they could feel the way we do when we dress up. They are actually the ones who are missing out, it feels wonderful to be like us when we get our fem-self on.

[ronda]

as you t levels go down as you get older the desire to dress gets stronger that's how its been for me anyway I'm 68 and dress more now then ever due to chemo I have lost my long silver hair but still have my forms bra panties and lipstick skirt and top so not much keeps me from dressing

[DIANEF]

Stop dressing? Unthinkable, I've been doing it for so long it is a completely normal part of my life. The only real problem I have with it is the lack of time to do it as much as I want to.

[Giselle(Oshawa)]

if there were such a thing as the blue pill i would take it in a heartbeat as i have many other aspects of my life to keep me content and busy.
dressing for me is the elephant in the room it consumes me and dominates most of my inner thoughts, thankfully my wife is tolerant of Giselle.
but if i didn't have the constant urge to dress my life would be much simplier and less stressful.

[ginapoodle]

Really a good thought experiment, and I have conducted it many times.

Then there is the reality: I have been a CD with gender dysphoria since at least age 11, probably before that.

I love the sensuality.

The bad news is the DADT from my wife and cultural non-acceptance. Then there is my own concern of being outed.

Self acceptance has been my journey, and I integrate my femininity in many ways other than dressing up.

[Francene Lola Dupree]

for example, a nice party going on that you are not aware of. As it's happening, you are not missing it. Your brain is probably not even thinking about parties in general. That's the blue pill.

I think that's a very fair point, although my brain is often thinking about parties :P
You can miss what you never had, but even if the blue pill cured my desire and took away all memories of it, i still wouldn't take it, i like it down the rabbit hole.

[Rhonda Jean]

No. I don't want to stop. I'm assuming this question comes about from what you've been told in therapy. That going on hormones would likely give you mental clarity and would reduce the obsessive need to crossdress to satisfy your gender dysphoria. I can't remember exactly how she put it, but that's the crux of it. I didn't do it, but that was mostly because I knew that my employer would eventually find out I was on hormones.

Although I'd never want to stop I would like to live in the middle ground, and not have those peaks when the intense desire/need to dress is so frantic and overwhelming. There have been long periods of time when I've done that. Thing is, my "middle ground", from a physical appearance standpoint, looks like I'm full time with a male façade for work and family. Minus the required male façade, this is a comfortable place for me. It is balance, for me. To practically everyone else it does not look like balance, and I get that.

There have been times when I've lost the desire. I don't like it, I always worry that it won't return, and I always force myself to do "something", even if the desire is just not there. It's been such an integral part of me for so long that I'd be lost without it. I could do without the peaks and valleys. I've always felt like I'm seeking an average. That's the benefit/utility of doing things that are publicly unnoticeable like keeping my toes polished, wearing panties all the time, and shaving. I think (for me) those little things make those peak times less frequent and less intense. Keeps me closer to the average.

Most of us are prone to over analyzing ourselves. That's a small part of my self analysis. I've certainly recognized and accepted that the peaks are unsustainable. Strictly from an appearance standpoint (ignoring the ancillary details), the peak for me is what I described in an earlier thread. Minidress, heels, big hair, too much makeup... you get the ideal. Fun, unsustainable, and probably brought on by a frantic need to bring up my average. I have no idea if any of this makes sense to anybody but me.

I know that's a long answer to a simple question, Teresa. Seems like nothing is ever simple to me.

[alwayshave]

I have been dressing my whole life, on and off, from age 4 or 5. Yes for many years I wanted my desire to go away and just wanted to be a guy. I'm at the point in my life where I am comfortable with who I am. I love and need to wear women's clothes, apply makeup, slip into heels. Who cares, it hurts no one. At this point, mid 50s, I would not take the blue pill. I'm happy and I'm going to stay that way.

[Bobbi46]

No most definitely not! its within me, deeply embedded and let no one take this away from me, it now being a part of my life to be enjoyed and treasured.

[Dana44]

No as and older person, dressing all my life. A resounding no. since both sides of my brain are open. I see far differently than a male and am creative. Why would I ever give that up?