I'm the same, sugar. You have my support.Originally Posted by Crissy Kay
I'm the same, sugar. You have my support.
I don't play tennis, but would love to play in heels
When you ladies do go out where do you like to go? I have read a lot about cross dressers going to gay bars or places like that but im an alchoholic and have been sober for 6 months now so i cant really hang out at bars or clubs anymore. Theres really only one place i go out crossdressed and thats my local comic book store but i know mostly everyone there. Just wondering where people go or what they like to do when crossdressed out of the house.
Princess,
First of all, congratulations on your 6 months sobriety.
Broadly speaking, you have two choices, "safe" and accepting venues or everywhere else. Safe and accepting would include (as you've noted) most gay bars, some lesbian bars, and any other venue that has been noted by the community for their embracing diversity. Depending on where you live, that might include a restaurant or two, a shop or two, a whole neighborhood, or most of the city. How do you find these places? Networking, girl. Here (the forum) is a good start, but most cities of any size will have LGBTQ resources that can steer you in the right direction.
Then there's "everywhere else". My first time out en femme was in Las Vegas. I don't recommend it as a first-time-out venue because the tourists tend to gape and point at all the unusual sights. Once I got past that, though, I was able to smile back at them and enjoy my evening anyway, and that's my point - if you can let go of the terror and just smile and be pleasant, almost anyplace is OK. Sure, you'll encounter bigots here and there, the frequency of that depending again on where you live, but your behavior will dictate how people respond. Act normal and pleasant, and most of the time the worst treatment you will encounter is the occasional double-take.
Hugs,
Kelly Marie
I completely agree i with you there. Im never really afraid to approach or talk to people and i always smile and have a lot of personality. I like to have fun with it and i think that helps people who might not understand why we crossdress to see that we really arent anything to be afraid of. I live in Denver which is a very LGBT friendly city. Ill take your advice and look some stuff up. Maybe i can find something on meetups or something
All the normal places, really -- the grocery store, the sub shop, CVS, the gas station, etc. Just live the life you normally live. If you're looking for places with the highest probability of acceptance while you build confidence... probably libraries and book stores, any events happening on a University campus, theatrical and live music venues, coffee shops, museums -- these are all places that, around Boston anyway, attract a pretty reliably liberal clientele.
I am not a woman; I don't want to be a woman; I don't want to be mistaken for a woman.
I am not a man; I don't want to be a man; I don't want to be mistaken for a man.
I am a transgender person. And I'm still figuring out what that means.
Crissy Kay, there are lots of put-downs here on the forum besides those directed at closet dressers. Men with beards in dresses, OTT dressers, etc. Sometimes I ignore, sometimes I push back.
So, here's what we should do: put on our maid's outfits and go out. Pass/blend crossdressers will tell us we are setting a bad example for the community and tell us to get back into the closet. OK, if you insist, but make up your mind, will ya?
The very first group meeting I attended, remember it well, there was someone there dressed in the full maids outfit right down to frilly ankle socks. Out and about this was someone you would notice as she was over 6' tall. Oh and did I mention the curly shock of blond hair and red eye shadow. This didn't stop her from stopping off at the fish and chip shop on the way home for supper. I would loved to have been a fly on that wall!
Again I reiterate, if going out isn't for you, that's fine. My question was aimed at those that do and to describe how you would explain that which drives you to do so.
It's a fact that the CD/trans world is, albeit slowly, coming out of the shadows. More of us it seems are crossing that threshold and presenting ourselves to the world. I'm looking to find out what initially carried you over that doorstep.
Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed
I have been a big chicken all of my life. My first time out was to prove that I could put my fear to the side, pull up my "big boy pants," and be myself without regard to what others think. For me it was one of the high points in my life, because I had finally decided to set myself free, using the keys I always had in my hand.
Decades ago I took the plunge and went out several times for an evening drive. I wanted to experience life as more than a shut in. It took awhile to intentionally interact with other humans. I did that on two Halloweens. I sort of got the urge out of my system for a long time. When our daughter went to school in the mid west my wife visited her for seven to ten days every year. Her absence gave me a lot of time to hang many of my dresses in the closet and trade my male underwear for my women's attire in my armoire. Then the urge came back and I started taking longer strolls almost every night. I enjoyed the cool breezes caressing my legs and playing with the skirt of my dresses and slips.
Yes, I did chicken out and did not interact with humans out of fear that I would be shunned or worse. I would be very comfortable being among like minded individuals who are truly accepting of men who like to wear women's clothing. If I could only knock about six inches off my six foot height I think I would go further.
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