Finally told my fiancee

[imation85]

I'm 31, have been dressing for a long time and I made the decision this past week that it's a part of me that is not going away. I have been with my fiancee for 12 years and felt she really deserved to know the truth about all this. It had been a tough decision but ultimately I wrote her a note and we had a long discussion over dinner. She had a lot of questions and I was an open book. I think she is still trying to figure out and wrap her head around all this. I'm extremely lucky to be with someone like this who is willing to hear me out. I'm hoping we can progress further but right now I haven't brought it up and just want to give her all the time she needs to digest this.

Thanks all for listening!

[Krea]

Hi,
Congratulations on coming-out to your fiancee.

It is an extremely hard thing to do. I have just recently come-out to my wife. All i can say is that it still feels like it woz the right decision to finally open up to her. So far things are going ok.

As a newcomer to this group i do not really have any particular advicefor you, but i just wanna say that i hope everything goes well for you in the future.

Best wishes, Nic

[kimdl93]

After 12 years, she knows the entirety of you, so let's hope this part is taken in context. Best wishes to both of you!

[NancySue]

Congratulations and kudos for your courage and honesty. Hopefully, this will work out to be a positive decision. Take it slowly I did the same (fearing the worst) but it turned out to be the best thing I ever did. I felt like I'd set a large anvil down. We talked a lot, did a lot of reading, etc. She thinks "no big deal" and is helpful and supportive. She even encourages me to dress, gives me suggestions, helps with makeup and occasionally buys me things. The best to both of you.

[Paula2]

Honesty is always the best way to go!! Although it is always the hardest choice to make.. I hope things work out for the best.. Keeping a secret for 12 yrs is a long time.. I have kept my dressing a secret from everyone I know for more than 30 yrs.. Except my Ex-Wife and My current girlfriend, both of witch I told very early in our relationships.. Now almost all of my friends know.. Very few of them want to see me dressed but it is a good feeling to know that "they know" and it doesn't matter to them.. They still want to be my friend..

I really hope everything works out for the best..

[Micki_Finn]

From a practical point of view, it's good that you did this BEFORE the wedding. Much harder to undo a wedding than an engagement should things work out. She didn't dump you right away and that's a step, but be aware things could still go either way from here.

[Lana Mae]

Good for you for being honest before the wedding! Best wishes going forward to both of you! Hugs Lana Mae

[Stephanie47]

As Kim indicated (#3) your fiance should know all of your qualities and faults. Enter the affect societal norms has on her thinking. Get this settled before you tie the knot. Remember anyone can change his and her mind about anything. My only thoughts always center upon establishing a set of acceptable rules which should only be altered through negotiations. Sometimes I read where the husband has been granted an inch and he takes a mile and really drives a wedge in the relationship. Good luck to you.

[imation85]

Thank you so much to each of you for taking the time to respond. I haven't brought up dressing since we last spoke, I'd rather let her come to me with questions. I am not going to push it at all.

[Karen's Secret]

I would probably check in with her to see how she's dealing with the news. If she has not brought it up to you since you last talked I would be a little concerned. No news is not necessarily good news when it comes to the significant other.

[Nastasha]

Good deal. Always be up front and honest about it.

[bridget thronton]

Hope things continue to go well