Hi everyone...not sure where to start here so let me start by saying a few things about myself...first of all I am a Vet, retired after 21+ years in the military that I absolutely enjoyed...I loved serving my country and did so all over the world...I am almost 60 years old now and have been working in Law Enforcement and most recently in security since my retirement. I have been married three times and still married to my current wife who I have been with for more than 25 years. I have five kids, with my youngest being 16....so there that is a little background about me...Now for why I am posting here, I have always felt since I was a little kid that there has been this strong feminine side to me that I did my best to push deeper and deeper inside of me until she could not longer be seen. I guess I did that because I found myself in a time when it was not acceptable for a guy to want to play with girls and their dolls or for a guy to just be interested in fashion and makeup....yes that was me as a young man, but it never progressed...I decided to get married at the tender age of 19 when I entered the military and had my first child soon after....life was hard then but good in the sense that I had a family who cared for me....but every once in a while those feelings would come back...I found myself trying to find out more and more about the Trans world and finding myself researching more and more....again I thought that was wrong and pushed it aside, especially after my wife saw something I left on the computer...was harder to hide stuff like that back then not like today with all the gadgets. I remember she came right out and asked me if I was gay and of course I strongly denied it...told myself that could not be possible and once again started burying that feminine side of me deep in my inner being until she no longer existed....Shortly after this time period I was transferred to a special area where no families were allowed...I was away for over a year with little contact with my family so when I came back everything changed...my wife decided she no longer loved me and that she loved someone else and left...that was end of my first marriage and to be honest I was devastated because someone left me and I was now all alone...not sure why but I was not the type of person who functioned well without people around supporting me and so like a lot of people I jumped right back into the game with my second wife just a couple of years after being divorced.....
There is still much more to tell but I think a lot of you will figure out where I am going and why I am so confused now....I would love to tell a bit more but honestly I am concerned that one I might be boring people or two that no one really cares...in either case I will end here for now....
Trying to be...Misty