Having bared yourself as to why you dress and must continue to dress to let the girl inside live, and disregarding all other family factors, you said to your wife or SO something like ..
"The girl that lives in my head will never go away. She's too much a part of my being. I love you so much (her name) that I must give you the opportunity to leave, because you can't accept her, and i can never change.That choice is now yours."
True love is not shallow, and if that exists, do you honestly believe that she would leave you or do you believe she would re-evaluate the situation to come to an understanding that she could live with?
The "You've ruined my life" comments got me to thinking about the above scenerio.