All,
I have been looking at some of the first pictures from my first professional transformation. They have computer date stamps that got me thinking. Dates were just a few days before a cluster of events as follows.
That same month that I revealed to my wife verbally and visually about Gina, these major events happened: 1) I switched jobs after a 27 year stint, 2) oldest daughter graduated from HS, 3) wife's mother killed in car accident, huge family funeral, 4) same accident caused by her father resulted in wife's father undergoing life saving series of operations, a stroke, recuperation for months, selling of their house, utter disruption of wife's core family, 5) wife's middle brother had an affair, divorced and immediately remarried. Result of all the cascading, focused matrix of high stress and change: my wife swooned into a depression for two years.
We did counseling on the gender issues for several months. It helped, but in reality my wife, and also myself pretty much just coped with all the other changes for a couple years. Result: the light that was illuminated on my gender issues (most difficult talk I ever had with anyone in my life) slowly dimmed and died. And now: pretty much no discussion at all.
Currently my oldest daughter is having major health issues. My wife's surviving father is slowly dying of Alzheimer's, although we did finally get him into a full time memory care unit vastly reducing stress on everyone.
Point is: seems synchronicity and windows for open discussion have been elusive. I have been considering opening up more with my wife on my gender journey. However, I am pretty wary of timing. Yet I do not want to form a series of excuses and delays if indeed this is the time to be more authentic with her, take some risk, and see if there can be some healing.
Anyway, there you go. Timing and synchronicity are important. Onward with faith, I will know the right thing to do, at the right time.